Good and Evil Influences

GOOD AND EVIL INFLUENCES. BY S. F. KIMBALL. [^ome months ago, the author contributed several striking: papers for the Era, on his personal experiences. A number of people have asked him to explain how he was led to write these papers, and he answers their questions in this article, showing that the inspiration which led thereto was as remarkable as any that directed his former acts.— Editors] Many times during our lives, it is almost impossible to discern between good and evil influences. If we would always listen to the promptings of the right influence, what a world of sorrow and trouble it would save us! Evil is always present, and when we fail to listen to the good spirit, it gives the evil one advantage over us. That spirit causes everything to appear so easy and plausible that we sometimes get the two influences confused, and the one that has the strongest hold upon us is the one we naturally follow. I quote the following from the Pearl of Great Price, pages 32 and 33: "And the Lord spake unto Adam, saying, Inasmuch as thy children are conceived in sin, even so when they begin to grow up , sin conceiveth in their hearts, and they taste the bitter, that they may know how to prize the good. And it is given unto them to know good from evil; wherefore, they are agents unto themselves." The Prophet Joseph, in speaking upon this subject, tells us that we niust "try the spirits, and prove them, for it is often the case that men make mistakes in regard to these things." There is but one way to avoid evil influences. Live pure, holy, and prayerful lives; cultivate a spirit of discernment, and shun everything of an evil nature. Or, in other words, "Resist the devil, and he will flee from us." Many times I have been brought near to death's door by listening to the wrong spirit.

GOOD AND EVIL INFLUENCES. 253 The most difficult time I ever Jiad to discern between the two influences, was during the latter part of March, 1906. I had lost my position, and was enjoying a long and needed rest, and had no work in view. One evening, the spirit whispered these words to me: "Now is the time to write some of the most important events of your life, and have them published," My feelings naturally revolted against it, and the thoughts of such a thing made me shudder. I understood to which part of my life the spirit had reference. The same influence, twenty-two years before, had worked with me until I spent several days in writing that part of my history. I said to myself: No, never as long as I have my natural senses. I had lived a good life for a quarter of a century, and did not propose to tear down the good name I had worked so hard to build up . Both influences were working with me, and I was in sympathy with the one that was fighting that proposition. I had never but once written for publication, and then had help. My ambition did not run in that direction. I thought to myself, how foolish it would be for me to delve into the disagreeable parts of my life, and place them before the public, after I had outlived them! This spirit said to me, "Never will such a thing be required of you, and nothing but an evil influence would prompt you to make such a fool of yourself. The Lord has forgiven you of your sins, and they are blotted out of the book of remembrance." This feeling grew stronger from day to day, and had convinced me that all I had to do was to live a correct life, and let my past mistakes take care of themselves. One evening I picked up a newspaper and was horrified to find that I could not read a word. My eyes continued in this condition for several days, and finally became almost blind. The two spirits continued to bear down upon me a little harder, and finally I went to bed a sick man. While this warfare was going on in my mind, a large carbuncle developed on one of my lower limbs. It seemed to penetrate to the bone and the flesh around it turned black. It was so painful I could hardly endure it. As I lay on my back in this pitiable condition, I had an open vision in broad daylight. It was no more nor less than my own hand writing passing before me from right to left about as fast as I would naturally write. The scene lasted fifteen or twenty minutes, and was so plain I could

254 IMPROVEMENT ERA. see to read some of the writing. After the vision had passed, the spirit said to me, in language that could not be misunderstood, that if I refused to obey its promptings any longer I would never get out of that bed alive. My afflicted limb was in a fearful condition, and I feared that blood poison had already set in. All was made plain to me then, and I made up my mind to obey the instructions received, no matter how much it went against my natural feelings. If I could do good in my humble way, I was willing to make the sacrifice. I crawled out of bed and dressed myself. I went into the closet, and locked the door, and bowed down in humble prayer before the Lord. I laid bare my feelings before him. I confessed my sins with tears streaming down my cheeks. In broken accents I pleaded with him to be merciful unto me, and bless me in body, mind, and spirit. I asked him to strengthen my memory so that I would be able to remember what he desired me to write. I pleaded with him to give me back my eyesight, to remove the pain from my afflicted limb, and to give me strength to stand up under the trying ordeal that lay before me. I soon felt the spirit resting upon me in great power. My eyesight was restored, and all disagreeable feelings vanished. The pain left me, and I was healed, all but my afflicted limb. Before I had gotten off my knees, the spirit told me that what I would write would not only be a help to others, but would prove a blessing to me. I went to my desk with a light heart and a cheerful countenance. The blood commenced to warm up in my veins. A cloud of darkness was lifted from my mind. What had appeared to me a horrible nightmare was changed into a sacred remembrance. I took a pencil and tab, and commenced to write. The subject given me was the incidents of my life that had taken place forty-two years before. They were brought so vividly before my mind that it seemed but yesterday. My next article was, "Why I Keep the Word of Wisdom." This part of my life was also brought vividly before me . When I had completed it, I commenced to write, ''A Brand Plucked from the Burning." The headings of these articles were given to me by the spirit. When I started to write this sketch it was nothing short of marvelous the way this part of my life was brought before me, and how keen my memory was on all the little details connected with it. Many things were

GOOD AND EVIL INFLUENCES. 255 brought to my remembrance which before I had forgotten. I could actually see in my mind the horrible countenances of those imps of the infernal regions, as they appeared to me on the desert, that September morning, twenty-five years before. For the first time I could appreciate this period of my life, and look upon the event as the most sacred part of it. Peculiar feelings engaged my mind, while it was passing before me like a panoramic view; Several times I had to pause long enough to wipe away the tears that were drenching the paper I was writing on. Never until then could I understand the importance of this period of my life, and I felt to exclaim, "Merciful God, hallowed be thy name forever. Thou didst, when I had started to cross the 'Rubicon' of destruction, condescend to point the way to glory, celestial worlds without end." This was the turning point of my life, and I could then understand why my Heavenly Father desired that these incidents should be made public. There were too many serious lessons connected with them, and they were too important to be brushed aside as so much trash. They were to be left on record as a standing reproof to every wayward son and daughter of Zion who might read them. I wrote the entire article in less than three hours, and never rose from my seat until it was finished. At times, it seemed like the spirit would burn me up. The title to the fourth article was, ^'Reaping Wild Oats." Afterwards it was changed to "Adventures on the Way to Arizona." After it had been published, the spirit chided me for making the change, as it conveyed the wrong impression . There is a severe lesson in this part of my life also that the wa3rward of Zion would do well to heed. For nine years, I had turned my back upon my religion, and was running after the glitter of the world . I had been brought up under the droppings of the sanctuary, as it were, and knew I was doing wrong. Hundreds of times the good spirit had labored with me, and used all influences imaginable to get me to follow in the footsteps of my father ; but no, nothing would do but have a "good time." Time and again, when my intentions were to do wrong, the good spirit blocked the way, and put me right, but I did not appreciate it. The Spirit of the Lord gradually left me, and I was deserted by all good influences, except my faithful guardian angels who remained