Wit and Humor in the Mission Field

190 IMPROVEMENT ERA. coarse caricature of his people, without manifesting any other signs of his agitated feelings than a paleness and a nervous twitching of the hands. But he determined to utter a word of explanation, if he could, without creating a disturbance. So, taking advantage of a pause, after one of these descriptions of a typical "Mormon," he arose and asked whether he might not put a question. This unusual interruption brought every eye upon him. Everyone immediately recognized him as "that tall, well-looking stranger" who had recently come to town, and concerning whom there had been no small amount of curiosity. The minister gave him the required permission. "I should like to know," continued the young man, "if you have ever been to Utah?" "No, sir," was the response, "I have been fortunate in that respect." "Upon what grounds, then, do you base your statements concerning the 'Mormons' in Utah?" "On the well-attested facts brought to light by those who have been there, and who have escaped to tell us their story." "Then," said the young man, bringing himself up to his full height, with pardonable pride, and casting his eyes over the congregation, "what do you think of me as a specimen of your pygmean 'Mormons?'" It is needless to add that the sermon did not progress with the same energy as before. Casting Out Devils. This same elder, on another occasion, was holding a meeting in the same town. It was some time after the circumstance we have just related, when a number of people had begun to investigate the gospel, and regular meetings were being held in a public hall. The services had been in progress some time when half a dozen men came down the main aisle, as noisily as possible, taking their seats near the front. The speaker waited till they were seated, and then resumed the discourse. But the men, especially the leader, had evidently come to

WIT AND HUMOR IN THE MISSIONFIELD. 191 cause trouble; for they talked among themselves in a loud tone, utterly oblivious, it seemed, of the fact that they were at a religious meeting, and that a 'clergyman was preaching a gospel sermon. Elder Blank paused several times to see if they would cease. At this they would stop, but only to start again with the sermon. The speaker next tried persuasion; he asked them kindly if they would not desist. But this only induced an altercation between him and the leader of the band. "Ask him to cast out a devil, Jake," shouted one of the number to the chief. Now, it happened that Elder Blank had been instrumental the past week in healing a woman who was afflicted by evil spirits; and the circumstance had been noised abroad. It was to this that the disturbers of the peace alluded. "Cast out another devil by the laying on of hands," cried the six voices derisively. "All right!" said the preacher, the fire gathering visibly in his eye. He came down from the pulpit, grabbed the leader by the coat collar and by the seat of the trowsers, held him out at arm's length in the air, the victim meanwhile kicking furiously, and having reached the door, deposited him violently on the ground. This done, he walked back with great coolness to the rest and asked: "Do you want to be cast out, too?" "No!" they answered, "We'll walk." And they went out. The sermon then proceeded without further interruption. A Futile Argument on Baptism. A recent conversation between an elder and a Norwegian lieutenant in the Salvation Army, on the necessity of baptism: Elder.—So you don't believe it is necessary to be born (baptized) of water and the spirit to enter into the kingdom of heaven? (John 3: 5.) Lieut.—No; because Paul declares that there is but one God, one faith, and one baptism. Now if we must be baptized with both the water and the spirit, there would be two baptisms instead of one.

192 IMPROVEMENT ERA. Elder.—Do you believe this passage which you have just quoted, and the interpretation you have here given? Lieut.—Yes. Elder.—Then you believe there is only one God? Lieut.—No; there are three persons in the Godhead. Elder.—If there are three Gods in one God, why can there not be two baptisms in one baptism? Would it not be more reasonable to believe that Paul meant that there is only one baptism recognized by God—the one which the Savior instituted as recorded in John 5:3? All other forms of baptism are of men and are consequetly false. The lieutenant thought he saw a light, and hurried away. All the Same to Him!—Sympathy Lost. ] This is a story from the field in Norway: One of our newly arrived elders went out tracting. He had just acquired enough of the language to say: "I am a Latter-day Saint missionary; have you any desire to look at my books?" The lady accosted asked if he were a "Mormon." On learning that he was, she began lashing him with her tongue. The elder waited until she had finished her speech, when he politely said, tak, (thank you) and walked away. Next day the lady came to the president's office, and told the president how she had treated one of the elders, and how she regretted it. She had not been able to sleep on account of her conduct, and especially since the elder had not retaliated. The president told her not to feel sorry, because the young man could not understand a word of what she had said!