In Lighter Mood

IN LIGHTER MOOD. It is said that a young officer at the front recently wrote to his father: "Dear Father —Kindly send me £50 at once; lost another leg in a stiff engagement, and am in hospital without means." The answer was: "My dear Son—As this is the fourth leg you have lost, according to your letters, you ought to be accustomed to it by this time. Try and wobble along on any others you may have left."—Tit Bits. "This is my son Frederick, Mr. Stephens," said Mrs. Saunders, introducing her five-year-old son. "Well, Frederick," said the visitor, "do you always obey your mama like a good boy?" "Yes, sir," replied Frederick promptly, "and so does papa."—Stray Stories. A story is told of a canny Scot who dealt in old horses, alternating his spells of labor with heavy sprees. During the period of depression which followed each overindulgence, John habitually took to bed, and there diligenty studied the family Bible. During one of these fits of attempted reformation his conditon prompted his wife to call in the Rev. Mr, Wallace, the parish minister, who at the time happened to be passing. "Oh, Maister Wallace, come in and see oor John, he's rale bad." "What's wrang wi' him?" "He's feart to meet his Makker," said Mrs. John. Quick as fire came the crushing reply: "Humph; tell'm he needna be feart for that; "he'll never see'm."—New York Tribune. Ella—Bella told me that you told her that secret that I told you not to tell her. Stella—She's a mean thing—I told her not to tell you I told her. Ella—Well! I told her I wouldn't tell you she told me—so don't tell her I did. What is the difference between a sewing machine and a kiss? One sews seams nice, and the other seems so nice.