Charity and Arithmetic. An Every Day Story

CHARITY AND ARITHMETIC. BY S. A. KENNER. Charity begins at home. Oftener than otherwise, it also ends there. As the holidays are just past, and at such times everyone is presumed to loosen up a little in the matter of giving out things, the subject is, as a parliamentarian would say, in order. In a preliminary way, let me remark that there are some stock ex- pressions which pass as adages, aphorisms and the like, but, when an- alyzed, they have a dual life, so to speak. For instance, we are told that figures never lie, that parallel lines never meet, and so on. Each of these is a correct expression, but we all know how figures are made at times to serve the ends of those who in using the truth get down to the danger line of extravagant economy; while the most precious sense we have — the eyesight — looking out upon a long stretch of straight railway track, for instance, tells us that parallel lines do meet. It is an impression that has grown out of observation, more than anything else, that when the gentleman whose name it is not good form to mention wants something performed, altogether worthy his station and calling, he does not secure the services of dishonest or tricky per- sons; these would likely be as dishonest and tricky with him as with others, and besides, they would be less able to deceive than some others. The kind he undoubtedly prefers are those who never make "mislicks," whose every consummation in life is a perfect equation, who can make a correct exhibit at every stage of all their proceedings. Cashiers, con- fidential clerks, and so on, who can spend three times as much as they get in salaries, and show a clean balance sheet on short notice, have the requisite ability; and those who give ostentatious charity, without draw- ing on their own stores or accounts, have qualities which are not to be overlooked in the connection spoken of. While it is frequently the case that the difference between a misdemeanor and an eccentricity depends

CHARITY AND ARITHMETIC. 261 largely upon the size of the person's bank account, it is not always so; the ability to subtract a greater sum from a smaller one, to divide on the same principle and produce a quotient, and to add sums and make the product more or less (as required) than a strict observance of the old- fashioned rules of mathematics would admit of, are factors not to be overlooked. In all this, there must be no irregularity or departure vis- ible or suspected; it is not the details, not the manner in which things are done, but the ability to show a conclusion, which will be satisfactory all around, that counts. Let me make the proposition plainer by an in- cident the like of which occurs, no doubt, every day, but is itself taken from life: At a certain time and place, three representative citizens were as- sembled as trustees of a special bequest in the will of a good and prosperous man who had gone before. The decedent had been a business man who knew how to conduct business, and, as the result of many years of close attention to his affairs, had amassed a comfortable fortune. But he was getting old, and the grim old fellow with the scythe and hour- glass permits only few of us to run beyond the time to which the man spoken of had attained. And realizing that he couldn't take the small- est part of his accumulations with him, he decided that, even in death, he would have his way as to how the property should be disposed of. So he made a will disposing of everything in detail. Among the bequests was one that he doubtless designed should be a monument to him, when he should pass away, and it was to be the return to some of the more needy of those from whom he had obtained his fortune, of a portion of the money — not as a measure of equity but of charity. He could not have had any advertising advantages in view, for advertisements, like flattery, soothe not "the dull, cold ear of death." The will directed that a goodly sum — not very large nor very small — should be distributed to those of his townfolk who needed it, and the three gentlemen spoken of were selected as a committee of distribution, without bonds or other restraining influ- ences. They were discussing ways and means whereby their duties could be performed most effectively and satisfactorily. "Allow me to suggest,"said a portly-looking man, who seemed by com- mon consent to act as chairman, "that it would be the very culmination of absurdity to give the money itself to the people. Being poor, they are either improvident, vicious, or incapable; and, in either case, should always be the subject of guardianship in the matter of benefices. The de- sign of our departed friend was to do them as much good as possible, and he would turn over in his grave if any part of his bequest were to be squandered in drink or other harmful ways. In fact, by asking us to act

262 IMPROVEMENT ERA. in their behalf, he must have had in mind the prevention of any such thing, and the securing to the donees some substantial assistance. Don't you agree with me, gentlemen?" There being no ground for an argument, the other two assented promptly. "Well, then, I propose that we purchase fuel, clothing and provisions, such as the poorer classes are mostly in need of, always leaning to the substantial rather than the luxurious side of things, and distribute them in accordance with the needs and circumstances of the applicants." This also met with an unopposed endorsement. "Then let us begin somewhere, and get down to business," said "the- chairman. "Now, for example, there is the matter of coal. Winter is at hand, and we want to go if anything rather out of the proportion of things to secure as much of that to the people as possible. We will buy say, five car-loads, which will be a hundred tons, and by this means will get the benefit of wholesale rates — three dollars a ton — and will give two hundred families half a ton each, which, economically used, should last them half through the winter. Each will receipt to us for his coal, and we will thus have two hundred receipts, each showing the delivery of a thousand pounds, and, as in such cases retail rates — five dollars a ton — prevail, we shall enlarge rather than diminish our trust." "Would not this plan naturally create an increment?" asked one of the others. "Assuredly," replied the chairman. "And what about it? I mean, how should we dispose of it? Wouldn't it be a little awkward to us in making a report?" "Not in the least. It is not difficult to understand that a surplus is much easier handled than a deficiency." "But — ah — does not the fact that all that we have of this bequest is for the benefit of — those, ah — for whom it was bequeathed, occur to you?" hesitatingly asked the other, who was beginning to disclose the fact that some lingering remnants of a conscience remained to bless or vex him, as the case might be. "By no means," promptly responded the chairman. This is a business matter, and should be looked at in a business-like way. The beneficiaries of this trust have no right to look for more than is orginally provided for them, and, in fact, we have no right to extend it, because, by adding anything, we should thereby curtail, in some measure, the credit due to the donor for his gift. No; it came from him, and we must not seek ta reduce the honor which attaches to his memory, by making it greater than he made it."

CHARITY AND ARITHMETIC. 263 "But how about making it less?" asked the man with the conscience. "Who proposes to make it less? We propose to make it just what was bequeathed — no more, no less. Isn't that enough?" "But if we manipulate — ah, yes, that is the word — things so that we show how the greatest possible good to the people is not given, but only the sum in dollars and cents, without reference to their purchasing power — not the money itself, but a fictitious representation of its worth — will we thereby observe the spirit of the gift, even though we may comply with its terms literally?" "My friend, you are disposed to fall into the common error of mix- ing sentiment with business. They should be kept strictly separate. The beneficiaries, I repeat, will get all that was left for them, even to the last cent; that is as far as we can go, and all that will be expected of us." "I would rather let them have the money," ventured the timid member. "To squander in riotous dissipation or unseemly extravagance, in most cases, and thereby accomplish harm where good was intended! No; as I said before, we must not do that. My plan is the best. What say you?" asked the chairman of the member, who had so far been silent. He concurred. Everything movable yields to brains and perseverance. "Now, then," resumed the spokesman, "we will at once proceed to contract for a hundred tons of coal, five tons of flour, a ton of bacon, and such other things as may be most needful and useful, getting the benefit of the wholesale prices, and getting receipts for each item delivered." The man with the conscience made one more effort. "You are pro- viding for a horizontal increment on the transaction, amounting to about twenty-five per cent, meaning several hundred dollars. Since, according to your showing, this will not belong to the beneficiaries of the gift, to whom will it belong? Where will it go? What kind of accounting shall we make of it?" "It doesn't need to go anywhere. Anything remaining in the hands of the trustees after they have fully complied with the terms of their . trust is manifestly theirs, to do with as they please. Besides they are entitled to something for their time and trouble." "Then why not present bills for such services and have them figure in the regular way?" "Ah, there you go again — mixing business and charity. We are now acting as a charitable board, and not presumed to charge for our services." "Yes; I see. It is all right to take, if you don't let it appear. The

264 IMPROVEMENT ERA. wrongfulness of anything does not consist in the thing itself, but in letting it be found out. Capital idea. Well, gentlemen, I will withdraw, since my obtuseness prevents me from fully concurring in your views and purposes, and I would not wish to be the means of causing unpleas- antness of any kind. If you find any dividend — as you might call it — coming to me, you may pay it over, and it is perhaps needless to say that it will at once find its way to those whom our departed friend designed should have it. Good day." As the recalcitrant disappeared, the chairman remarked: "Strange person, that; always stands in his own light, as if he were afraid he might drift into something profitable. Such people are always poor, and I guess they ought to be." In conclusion: It happened once that the only perfect Being who was ever incarnated, showed a trace of imperfection. He became so indig- nant at the transactions of certain men that he almost, if not quite, lost his temper momentarily — long enough to improvise a whip and drive them out of a sacred edifice which he deemed they were desecrating. And yet, they were never accused of dishonesty, they were "making money" in accordance with accepted rules, and, no doubt, every one of their transactions squared exactly with business principles and mathe- matical requirements. Perhaps they were charitable, too. We have no account that they were not, and that class of men usually are inclined that way, at times.