Notes
Improvement Era, vol. 2, no. 8, June 1899, p. 627
Young Men’s Mutual Improvement Associations
NOTES.
We are what we are by virtue of all that has happened to us, by all that we have done, and suffered, and enjoyed since our birth, whether we respect it and remember it or not. A change of associates will often remove a temptation which has defied every toilsome effort to overcome it, and a healthful regime has made possible what no previous exertion, however strenuous, could effect. Gratitude, in whatever way expressed, is of itself no mean or trifling gift. The sincere word of thanks, the honest smile of pleasure, the real appreciation of a kindness and the effort to utter it, bring a flow of joy into the heart of the giver, which is worth many a material benefit.
True gentleness is to be carefully distinguished from the mean spirit of cowards and the fawning assent of sycophants It sacrifices no just right from fear; it is not only consistent with a firm mind, but it necessarily requires a manly spirit and a fixed principle, in order to
give it any real value.
People do not like to be told disagreeable facts. As the saying goes, "Truth sometimes is brutal;" but, when an unpleasant truth must be told, to use a little tact in the telling of it will make the hurt less deep. Say and do pleasant things in this world whenever it is possible, but, if disagreeable ones come to the surface, handle them as gently as possible to spare the feelings of others.
As a general rule it is wise to drop from conversation, and, as far as possible, from memory, all that is unpleasant, or sad, or wrong, unless there be some positive and urgent reason for recalling it. Such things perish far more quickly by neglect than by exposure, while everything which is good, and just, and beautiful is quickened and strengthened by being brought to the light and emphasized.
The formation of a good character is the serious business of a lifetime. We can endure the absence or the loss of anything and everything else, for all other things will perish in the using, and end, at latest, when this life ends; but our character is ourself, the inseparable attributes that continue for eternity, and determine the eternal well or ill-being. What we have we must leave at death to others; what we are, what we have made out of ourselves, we cannot divest ourselves of at any time.