How Parents Can Educate Themselves

How Parents Can Educate Themselves By B. L. Richards, Professor of Botany Utah Agricultural College THIS discussion is by a parent just beginning his education in the "Science of Home-Making." In fact, I wish to make it clear from the outset that my principal excuse for venturing into the field of parental education is that vital interest which I have in four husky youngsters now presenting problems far faster than solutions appear. Might I not, therefore, characterize this brief discussion as a cry for help — help to cut my way through an unending maze of human problems imposed on parents by a rapidly changing world? If there be elements of hope suggested in this brief contribution, to our program it must be in the form of the research methods which were employed by a group of parents interested in educating them- selves in the business of home-making, and possibly a few conclusions which they have reached. Even in these, far more questions will be raised than answered. Probably the title, "How Parents Can Educate Themselves," offers a starting point. There exists a fundamental distinction be- tween learning and education. Learning is accumulated information from without, education is growth by activity from within. One may become tremendously learned, even to the extent of specializa- tion, but to become educated requires actual growth by activity into the business for which one receives training. All education is, therefore, self-education, and fortunate is even the specialist who. having a laboratory at home, may become educated in the business of home-making. Even so, his would better be an open mind. The position in which the parent in our present civiliza- tion finds himself is not a simple one. Imagine, 1928 and a parent! Students of various phases of home life maintain that we as parents have failed, and miserably. The juvenile judges and their co-workers lay juvenile delinquency at our door: educators generally insist that we have shifted the respon- sibility of child's care in education to the school, and the religionists see in our homes the disappearance of discipline and with it the hold of the church on the voting. No discipline, no spiritualitv: "The home but a place in which to eat and sleep." Such is the indictment against the modern home and modern parents. It is true: the home does fall short of its real function. It has. in general, failed to adapt itself to a complex and changing world and has, to a certain extent, become a drag on our civilization. But

HOW PARENTS CAN EDUCATE THEMSELVES 92 7 docs the responsibility for such conditions rest wholly with parents? As parents, certainly we are willing to bear our share of blame for such a condition; but such an admission does not explain and scarcely aids in the solution. It must be recognized that numerous forces have been in oper- ation to which parents have, to a certain extent, become victims, and to this extent are not causal agents. Much of the trouble lies in the fact that such vital forces as education, religion, etc., have been too completely separated from the homes; have become definitely insti- tutionalized, and that billions of dollars and the finest brain-power in the world have been employed toward the perfection of the insti- tutions in which they function. In fact, the school, the church, commercialized recreational centers, and similar institutions, because of their perfection and because of their professional connection and money-making powers, have become in themselves objects of wor- ship. The home, on the other hand, has been neglected; has not adjusted itself to the advance of civilization and lags far in the rear. It is entirely within the realm of truth to say that the home has been exploited for institutional maintenance of other types. In this sense the educator, the religionist, the politician, the profiteer in recreation, and the business promoter, have all been factors in staying the pro- gress of the home and have contributed in a definite way to its ex- ploitation, if not its undoing. Even now there are those in these groups who turn their attention to the home essentially because its lag threatens certain institutional perfection. Be this as it may, there are those who, through the mist of our commercial age, see the child and humanity; see the home as the most natural and possibly the most fundamental educational unit. They maintain that the vital factors in the home must be salvaged, and that upon these factors as a foundation the greater home of the future must be built. In this vision alone lies hope. Agencies turning their attention to the problem of the home are now rapidly increasing. Teaching and research, professorship and scholarships, are rapidly becoming established. Child-study associa- tions of various sorts have contributed and are now pointing the di- rection. Psychiatric and mental hygiene clinics, together with the juvenile courts, likewise mete out their instructions to parents. Like- wise, home economic departments stand ready with their perfected mechanics; a few have discovered the child. Again, we are informed that ten years will be added to the human life and a much higher degree of human efficiency result, if the information regarding health now known to physicians and pediactricians could be put into practice in the home.

928 IMPROVEMENT ERA From all this activity flows the usual mass of written vol- umes; libraries grow, outlines become perfected, and occasionally course work is instituted. Information and learning rapidly ac- cumulate, solutions are offered. But from above all the babel of "Lo, here the way," and "Lo, there," comes the one supreme cry: How can this accumulated knowledge be made functional in better homes for a better humanity? In other words, how can we educate the key-man in the situation — the parent? As yet, before it all, he stands bewildered, willing but helpless. How to convert this rapidly accumulating mass of information into a comprehensive, progressive, and effective program of home administration, looking toward the full expression of family life is the outstanding problem facing the American people, and es- pecially the parent of today. To begin with, as parents, we must accept our homes as they are, our children as we have them, ourselves as potential teachers and administrators. Now with the professional aid and written helps which are at our disposal, how can we as parents prepare our- selves and do our job? What is our program? In my further discussion of this problem I shall avoid theory and resort to a simple detailing of how one group of interested and sincere parents approached the task of preparing themselves to func- tion more efficiently as parents. This problem was undertaken in Logan, Utah, by a group of parents of mixed professions. A desire to improve our own homes provided the motive for the research activities which have now extended over a period of two and one-half years. The attack has been largely from the ex- perimental angle, and in these experiments the home with its chil- dren has provided the laboratory. Literature, professional work- ers, and other aids have been kept well in the background and used only when needed in the solving of particular problems. Activity in the home has been, throughout, the basis of our program. Through consistent and extended effort, a definite vision of the possibilities of the home has resulted, a portrayal of which is obviously beyond the scope and possibilities of this paper. How- ever, the length of time through which their experiments have been extended must be kept in mind throughout the discussion. At best I can but indicate in the very briefest way our objectives, methods and procedure, and possibly some of the results. With the group organized and finally with the self-imposed and specific task of making our homes function on a higher plane, we next faced the problem of how to accomplish our objective. Our first step consisted of a study of all the available programs and courses offered or suggested by various universities, colleges,

HOW PARENTS CAN EDUCATE THEMSELVES 92'J child-study associations, child clinics, churches, and books dealing with problems of parental education. This study disclosed the fact that most of these programs emphasized the child, if normal, as an isolated individual or as a member of artificial groups. Others outlined studies of the abnormal, delinquent, or unadjusted child, equally isolated. Pre-school child, youth, adolescent, etc., in their various phases also received attention. None of the programs, texts, etc., examined took the normal child, the adolescent or the adult, in- dividually or as group, and placed them in their normal home en- vironment and studied their reaction in that group with the idea of determining how such a body as the family should be administered so as to create conditions for maximum growth of every member therein. Not a single outline, program, or text was found dealing specifically with the big problems of home administration; none of- fered specific directions. As ambitious as the program might appear, this little group, as a result of its analysis, launched out in an experimental way to de- termine for themselves just what those fundamental principles under- lying the successful administration of their homes might be. The way has been long and fraught with difficulties; many times we have been baffled, sometimes discouraged; but results so far have justified our efforts. A number of homes have been completely changed and placed on a far higher plane than they occupied before the effort. At the outset, the group was forced to face three very simple but significant questions: (1) What do we wish to accomplish, or just why are we maintaining homes? Specifically, what are our ob- jectives? (2) What are the educational materials available to us in our homes for accomplishing these objectives? (3) What methods must be employed in the use of this material in reaching our objectives? Objectives of the Home It early became evident to the group that the principles involved in administration of any institution depended entirely upon the type of institution to be administered, and that type is but a function of the objectives sought. A determination, therefore, of just what we wished to make of our homes became a starting point. Considerable discussion led to the conclusion that our homes should function essentially as educational institutions with their prime objective the development of the highest type of manhood and womanhood. So general an ideal, however, could not function as a daily guide or as a basis for specific projects. An analysis of the essential elements of manhood and womanhood, in other words, character, did provide this desired basis, and as a result it was felt by all that if the home

930 IMPROVEMENT ERA functions effectively as an educational unit, with character forma- tion as its ultimate objective, it must give to every member the following: 1. A strong body, a high degree of vigor and vitality, proper motor reactions, posture, carriage, etc., and protection against physical abuses. 2. A keen reaction of the senses. 3. Balanced yet intensified emotional reactions in training of likes and dislikes (power to select values). 4. Habits of personal hygiene, neatness, cleanliness, and temperance. 5. An appreciation of work as a basis for successful life. 6. Adequate recreation. 7. Proper habits of study, training in thinking, and an appreciation of solitud?. 8. A keen appreciation of the value of time and its effective use. 9. Habits and power of concentration. 10. The instruments of thought, (vocabulary), habits of speech, love of books, literary taste, etc. 1 1 . The habit of cooperation. 12. The habit of and ability to assume responsibility and of rendering service. 13. High standard of moral conduct in speech, in thought, in social and com- mercial relations. 14. A concept and appreciation of personal values and a consideration for others and their rights. 15. A social consciousness of the home and its members (a home group loyalty). 16. Ability to participate and cooperate in home and community life. 1 7. Fundamental knowledge of sex and the laws of reproduction. 18. A fundamental knowledge of the laws of heredity and their relation to race betterment. 19. Appreciation of importance and relative value of the various social insti- tutions— church, school, local, state and Federal government. 20. An appreciation of economic values and the function of money as a means of life. 21. Respect for properly constituted authority, for law, for old age, and for things sacred. 22. A concept of God as a directive and benevolent force in the wprld, and an abiding faith in Jesus Christ and his mission. 23. Appreciation of marriage and the rearing of a family as the source of spirit- ual insight, inspiration and development. These objectives, one at a time, provided the basis for definite projects on which the parents worked in their homes. In presenting this group of objectives, however, no claim is made for complete- ness, nor is an attempt made to present them in order of relative im- portance. They are simply statements of what we, in our own homes, were determined if possible to accomplish. Educational Materials in the Home Just what were the materials in the home or presented by society to the home available to every parent with which to achieve these objectives provided our second real problem. Only the most meager suggestions of such character-forming material could be gleaned from

HOW PARENTS CAN EDUCATE THEMSELVES 931 the literature dealing with the home and parental education. The question, however, was so immediate and pressing that groups of parents started vigorously to work on various phases of the problem, and as a result a rather extensive, yet incomplete, inventory of the character-building materials and activities available in our homes resulted. This inventory not only provided material for immediate use but, most important of all, helped to develop an attitude on the part of the parents toward the home. Never before had we realized the richness as well as the limitations of our homes as we were then maintaining them. A listing of materials as inventoried is beyond the scope of this paper. Two examples of the use of this material as it might be em- ployed in working out the various objectives will suffice. Objectives 8 and 20 best serve our purpose. Objective 8 states: "It is the business of the home to give to every child a clear concept of the value of time." A few of the character-forming materials and activities in the home available to parents are listed in part as follows: 1. Rising in the morning (child). 2. Dressing and toilet activities. 3. Work to be performed by the child. 4. General home and individual schedule. 5. Breakfast. 6. Time for preparing for school. 7. Time required in going to and from school. 8. General family discussions. 9. Biographical features or stories emphasizing value of time in achievements. 10. Competition within the group. 1 1. Natural rewards for work quickly and efficiently done. 12. Time for study, etc. The following shows the use of part of this material by a girl of nine, before and after the operation of a definite schedule on time use. It must be kept in mind, however, that this was a self-imposed schedule, stimulated through the operation of the "home council" — a feature in method to be discussed later: Employment of Time Before the Institution of Her Schedule For getting out of bed 15-25 minutes For dressing 15-30 For toilet activities — 10-15 For help before breakfast ? For breakfast (sometimes while on way to school) 3-5 For study ? For help with work 0-10 For getting ready for school 5-10 For getting to school 5 and usually late

932 IMPROVEMENT ERA Each morning was characterized by parental nagging, and the child started the day in a state of spiritual and mental depression. Time as Employed After Three Weeks of Schedule Operation (Self-imposed) For getting out of bed 1 minute For dressing (established by competition with her own record) 5-7 minutes For toilet activities 1 5 For help before breakfast 20 For breakfast 20 For help in home or for study 30 For preparation for school 10 For going to school 15 The child started to school with a mother's kiss and prayer. The effect on the child's reaction and attitude in school was so profound as to stimulate investigation by teachers. Nor was this all, the whole atmosphere of the home life was as completely changed as was the life of the nine-year-old daughter. So many elements of character are involved in these early-morning operations that the child's whole future may be made or unmade by the way this 1 j/2 hours is used in the home. Such material is available to every parent. Objective 20: "It is the function of the home to give to the child a clear concept of economic values and of money as a means of life." Material in the Home 1. Child's own needs and desires. 6. Cooperative projects for increasing 2. Family expenditures (family budget) family income. 3. Child's personal expenditures. 7. Cooperative purchases. 4. Family income. 8. Biographies of successful men. 5. Example in use of money by parents. 9. Cost of home and home equipment, relatives, and neighbors. 10. Home improvement program. Material Offered by Society 1. Charities. 3. Taxes. 2. Public contributions, churches, Red 4. Public finance, waste projects. Cross, etc. 5. School supplies and equipment, etc. Although these are but simple every-day relations and activ- ities, yet, after all, they provide the basic material for use in establish- ing an appreciation of economic values. Neglect in their uses results in wasted materials and opportunities for character formation which must be the by-product of such activities. The father, for example, who reaches in his pocket and thoughtlessly doles out a dollar for the Red Cross has wasted one of his rarest opportunities for the education of his child. Again, the possible educational values of the family budget far outweigh other advantages usually attached to it by those who see only the economic side.

HOW PARENTS CAN EDUCATE THEMSELVES 93 5 These inventories are far from complete but will serve to suggest our method. Each of the twenty-three objectives, so far as taken up, have been thus analyzed in terms of material available. The problem of material for character education for use in the home and provided by the community presents one of the most fertile fields for research. Methods Employed How the child can be brought in contact with this educational material and activities in the home in such a way as to reach the vari- ous objectives for which the home must strive is the one most diffi- cult problem, and, as previously stated, forms essentially the big field of home administration. It was in this particular phase of our work that we obtained the least help from the various external aids such as books, outlines, and professional leaders. Helpful hints, however, were found which greatly affected our progress. Our attack on the problem of method was largely experimental. The sequence of events resulting from our experiments on the eighth objective, "The time element in the home," will best serve to illustrate our procedure. How to give the child, all members of the home, in fact, a clear concept of the value and importance of time provided our administrative problem. To be brief, the group in our first discussion of the question decided upon time schedules as a starting point. Each member left the group discussion enthusiastic and with a determination to perfect a workable schedule. One week later they returned, a wiser and a much less enthusiastic group. For the first time we were brought face to face with the fact that our study group was composed largely of but one member, usually th? mother, of the parental force of each home. Facing the problems of home reconstruction, starting with the time schedule, the active and enthusiastic member frequently met with indifference, coldness, and even active opposition from the other parent. The absolute necessity of cooperative activity on the part of both the directors of the home in taking the first step in reconstruc- tion came as a startling revelation and offered the first problem for solution in our'climb toward home improvement. Weeks of hard work, study, planning, and persuasion resulted in two fundamental steps forward: (1) Our group membership increased, two parents from each home now appearing. ( 2 ) The two parents of each home decided to set aside a definite period (daily or a certain number of periods each week) to study together (let us emphasize the word "together") the business of home-making. The greatest business in the world, "home-making," was to be studied for a definite period (daily or semi-weekly) by the two directors of that business. Books, outlines, and specialists began to have a place in our program.

y34 IMPROVEMENT ERA As a group of cooperative parents, we now renewed our attack on the time schedule. Beautiful schedules resulted, scientific sched- ules, inhuman cold-blooded schedules, dead bookish things, worked out cooperatively by parents. Figuratively, with these perfect in- struments, we marched into our homes with orders for all members of the family to fall in line. Three weeks later our attacking forces rallied behind our ramparts — beaten, discouraged, and some in open rebellion, ready to surrender. Our schedules, our perfect instruments of time regulation had failed. A study of our attempts clearly revealed two things: ( 1 ) That in the construction of our schedules the children had not been con- sulted, or at least had not become a factor in its construction; (2) in the operation of the schedule where they were chiefly concerned they were not at all interested — they even rebelled. Such was the fate of our first attempt, and such has been the fate of other attempts of schools, of churches, and of specialists to introduce time schedules into the home. The way out was not clear. Yet, we had dedicated ourselves to the problem of making our homes better, and the time element was important. Surely there was some solution. Strongly opposed by the "populace," we, the "ruling class," began the study of how we might put our plans in operation. After repeated trials and group discussions, a system of democratic opera- tion both in schedule planning, and schedule execution appeared our only solution. For the first time we were forced to see clearly the advance of democracy in society with which the home had not kept pace. The autocracy of our homes had received its first, and some even dared hope, its mortal blow. A system of democracy, however, with its machinery for the administration of the home did not appear a simple problem. Never- theless, our repeated experiments with the time element resulted ir the establishment in each family of what we chose to term a "family council"- — our second step forward in the business of home admin- istration. This consisted in setting aside a specific time when all members of the family could meet and solve jointly the family problems. In this council all the cards are laid on the table — the work to be done, the money to be spent, the pleasures to be sought, and the standards to be maintained. It becomes a sacred hour for mutu- ally solving the problems of living together. Further, in such a family council, the objectives of the home formulated by the parents are placed before all the members of the family and what were the objectives of the parents to give gradually, become the objectives of the child to acquire. The child then becomes a directive, not a

HOW PARENTS CAN EDUCATE THEMSELVES 935 directed force; and he gladly assumes responsibility as a member of the group in which he finds himself on equal footing. A keener sense of honor, a greater family loyalty, and a democratic expression of life in its highest refinements becomes a portion of the child's life. Such democracy, as is exhibited by the operation of the family council, makes possible the joint development of ideals, purposes plans, methods, and most important of all. compelling enterprises which are accepted by all members of the group. Quickly the prob- lems of discipline give way before the practice of such democracy in the home. With the operation of the family council the parent becomes a true leader and a true educator. To dictate in the old way is no longer his prerogative. His powers to lead, to guide, and to love, are put to the supreme test. As a result of two and one-half years of study and experimental efforts, this small group of parents have been forced to a few con- clusions which they hold as fundamental to effective home-func- tioning: 1. That the rearing of children fitted to live effectively and fully their lives in society is the highest function of the home. 2. That this effective type of home-functioning is possible only where clear-cut objectives are so formed as to stimulate and direct effort toward character formation and finally as to provide a basis for equating results. 3. That the education of children for effective family and community life is largely contingent upon the discovery, the proper evaluation and the use of the educational material provided in the home and to the home by society. 4. That while detail of methods may vary; nevertheless, the spirit of democracy must pervade the whole system of home admin- istration. The child as a directive force in the home must be allowed to grow into responsibility by exercising the functions encouraging such responsibility. Thus, for example, he learns home finance by participating in the business of home financing: just so he learns home administration by aiding in the actual problems of home ad- ministration. The home thus organized offers the one fundamental institution for pre-parental education as also for laying the founda- tion of effective citizenship. 5. That the full expression of the home in its climb toward the highest objectives can be obtained only by cooperative effort on the part of both parents, the father and the mother. This demands systematic study together of the business of home-making. The method employed in our group studies recognized the in- timacy and the delicacy of the family circle as well as the danger of

936 IMPROVEMENT ERA the abnormal expression resulting from the introduction of foreign elements necessary for study. Nevertheless, it makes possible the study of the family in action by providing a definite, progressive, and constructive program of activity and by using the parent in the homes through whom the reactions of the family group may be expressed. By the proper direction of study group, the activities of a large number of homes may be studied. The method is equally applicable for the study of an individual home by the parents them- selves. Home You buy or build a beautiful house; you furnish it with all the elegant things that money can procure, yet it is not a home. The only place that is a home is the place where the Head of the House tells the Heart of the House, how fast the grain grows, how the farm is all in good repair, how much his business has increased in the past year. The only place that is home is the place where the Heart of the House tells the Head of the House that Tommy has lost his first tooth, that baby Sue's plump little toes have pushed through the front window of her last new shoes, that the flour bin is empty and the syrup jug dry. Life is not all a gay romance. It is a tremendous reality. The man and woman who make a home together must be of understanding natures; they must be truthful, cheerful and sympathetic. Orange blossoms fade, their fragrance dies, but where the Head and the Heart of the House meet fortune's frown together where the hearth-fire burns brightly; where there are shadows of children's play upon the walls; where affections are genuine with no decay and no deceit, that habitation, be it a cottage on the boulevard, a mansion on the hills, or a weathered farm house nestling in a valley and shut in from the outside world, that habitation is a real HOME San Diego, Calif D. C. RETSLOFI- When You Are Eighty If the years before have been lived aright, Your legs will be nimble, your eyes will be bright, And you will be loved, though your hair may be white, When you are eighty. But should it be, you are faded and worn By battles you've fought and the burdens you've borne, By a smile you'll win more than by looking forlorn, When you are eighty. If you plant with care and good seed you sow, You'll have pleasure ahead in the crops that grow. The things I am telling you are things I know, Because I am eighty. iawtelle, Calif. PETER QOTTFREDSON