They Kissed Again with Tears

They Kissed Again with Tears

By Henry Nicol Adamson

"Allan., will you come home in time to accompany me to

Lady Barr's garden fete? It is for the Red Cross, you know, and

I promised you would be there if at all possible."

Allan Foster looked up from the morning paper with a

frown on his strong, handsome face.

"You had no right to promise for me, Maggie," he answered

sharply. "It is quite impossible for me to go anywhere in busi-

ness hours. I doubt, indeed, if I can get home for dinner to-

night. This last Government order is taxing all our resources."

His young wife's face darkened.

"I might have known better," she said bitterly. "Seeing

money-making is the one thing you care about, go on making it !

If all the world pities me as a neglected wife, let it! I'm past

caring what people say!"

"Don't be silly, Maggie," was the sole reply to this outburst.

"You know business must be attended to, especially such a busi-

ness as ours, as essential to the carrying on of this European war

as the men in khaki with whom you compare me, to my disad-

vantage, at every turn!"

"That is no excuse," retorted his wife. "If you had been

half a man you would have found ways and means of leaving the

business, as hundreds of other men have done. But that" —

jeeringly — "might have meant heavy loss, against which your

commercial soul would have risen in revolt! If I could have

foreseen anything like this I would never have married outside

the Service! The daughter of a long line of soldiers ought to

marry a soldier whether it means constant worry over a too small

income or not!"

Allan Foster slowly rose to his feet. He was strangely white

about the lips.

"Then my sister was right?" he said, hoarsely, "you never

cared for me; only for my money?"

Maggie's pained and startled silence seemed more than suf-

ficient reply. With a muffled groan he turned and stumbled

blindly from the room. Maggie hid her face in her trembling

hands.

"Oh, it is all too terrible!" she moaned. "If only he had

cared, nothing else would have mattered; but I am nothing —

less than nothing — to him! Even the boy's death did not move

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him. His business is his whole life. I do not believe it would

cost him more than a passing pang if I were to die tomorrow!

And yet I — God help me! love him with my whole 'heart and

soul!'"

Yet as Allan Foster was rapidly driven to his great factories,

which were working almost night and day turning out supplies

for the army and navy, he was hugging to his breast the agoniz-

ing belief that the wife he worshiped had never really loved him,

and would not care though she would never see him again! He

hnd never found it easy to express his deepest feelings. Maggie

had gripped his heart almost in their first moment of meeting,

yet even when he asked her to be his wife he had not been able

to find words to tell her all that she meant to him. After the

marriage his sister, who had lost a comfortable position as his

housekeeper, was not slow to impress upon the young wife that

he had been guided mainly by his desire to link his life with

that of a country family, though an older, wiser woman than

Maggie would have realized the stupidity of the suggestion, see-

ing Allan proved most unwilling to waste precious time "hobnob-

bing with the gentry!"

Business had been his life till he met Maggie. Outwardly

it continued to be so, even after the boy came. And when the

boy was taken away — ah, then what else but a greater absorption

in business would help him to forget all his shattered dreams?

Maggie's mother had taken her to the old home for a long visit.

When she came back Allen was seemingly further away from her

than ever, and the awful emptiness of her life, combined with

her wounded pride, had driven her into a feverish pursuit of

pleasure which he neither could nor would share. Then the

outbreak of war had given her work to do, but at the same time

filled her with shame, because the man whose name she bore

was not one of those who immediately answered the call of King

and country, though she had not said so in as many words till

this morning, when the bitter recollection of a conversation over-

heard the previous day had driven her to the utterance of her

taunting speech.

Yet Allan had known by instinct how she felt, and, with no

counting of the cost, had offered himself as a common private,

only to be rejected — because of a heart weakness of which he

had not known till then. The doctor, a personal friend, had

added a warning that he was overworking, but Allan could still

do his bit in that way, and would at any risk. He had not told

Maggie, thinking there was no good worrying her. And now, he

was thinking bitterly, she would not care. If he. died tomorrow,

she would be well provided for, and she would be free to marry

a war hero when the time was ripe!

THEY KISSED AGAIN WITH TEARS 439

That lie could harbor such a thought was indeed evidence of

how deeply the iron had entered into his soul.

He did some rapid planning after that, and when he entered

his office he surprised his partner by the decision he announced.

"I'm going to India myself, George, instead of sending Galloway.

You know he's mad to enlist, and we've no right to keep him

back. It means working double tides for you. but I know you

won't mind that! It's for the British Empire!"

"I'll survive," said George, laconically; "but you're not fit

for India, old man. The last spell of it pretty nearly did for

you. And you hadn't a wife to think of then!"

Allan Foster made no answer, but began to busy himself

with the letters. His partner gave him a long, searching look,

and recalled his own wife's words that the Fosters were daily

drifting further apart. He wondered if this separation would

bring them together, or widen the breach. He rather inclined to

believe the latter.

"Look here, Foster, you must think this matter well out,"

he ventured. "After all, business isn't the only thing that mat-

ters, and unless it is absolutely essential, a man should never

leave his wife alone, as you would need to do. If one of us must

go, why shouldn't I? My wife has the children to keep her

company. And, physically, I'm much better fitted for the job.

It may mean a year and more to get that muddle out there

cleared up."

"I don't care though it takes for ever!" said Foster shortly.

"T am going, and there's an end to it!"

And when the senior partner spoke in such a tone, the junior

knew remonstrance was utterly futile. Within an hour Foster's

passage by the P. and 0. was booked, and preparations for his

departure were in full swing. The day was a crowded one, and

he did not get home that night till his wife had gone to bed.

Somehow, he was not sorry. He believed it would be better

not to tell her that he was going till the very last day. He would

not like her to think that the scene of that morning had driven

him away.

She was in the breakfast room before him next morning,

seemingly too busy with her letters to look up as she answered

his quiet, formal "Good morning!" To Allan it was all too evi-

dent that she neither wanted, nor expected, the usual kiss.

It meant nothing — was a mere form, she was telling herself

fiercely, even while she honed against hope that he would come

and put his arms around her, and force her to look up, then

press his lins to hers, before he told her that it had all been a

mistake — that he had never believed his sister's cruel words.

Instead, he took his own place without another word, and

lifted the newspaper lying beside his plate. If Maggie did not

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wish to speak, he certainly would not force her, he told himself.

And so love was crushed underfoot by angry pride, and misery

instead of joy reigned in the sunuy breakfast room !

Only when a maid announced the car did Maggie volunteer

an unnecessary remark.

"Do you expect to be home for dinner, Allan?" she asked.

"I don't know. I'll ring up if I won't," he answered. "If

you want to be out, don't stay in for me."

"It is my evening at the Soldier's Rest-Hut," she replied,

"and I would really need to be there by six. But I don't want

you to feel that I'm neglecting my home duties."

"I don't think I have ever accused you of doing so!" was the

cold answer.

"If it will make your mind any easier, I can dine at the Club.

It would be more convenient for me, anyhow, as I shall have to

go back to the office."

"That will be all right then," said Maggie, and took up the

morning paper.

Allan Foster sharply drew in his breath as he turned towards

the door. Truly the misunderstanding between them was com-

plete.

The husband did not have an idle moment, the wife did not

allow herself one all through the long, crowded day. Neither

of them wished to think of anything but the work in hand. But

Maggie had not been very long in the Soldiers' Rest-Hut before

her carefully concealed agony was intensified an hundredfold.

A young girl who was assisting at the counter came up, when

there was a moment's lull, and spoke, a little shyly,

"I hope we aren't to lose you when your husband goes to

India, Mrs. Foster? I can't tell you how grateful we are to him,

not only for setting my brother free to enlist, but promising that

the firm will pay my mother his full salary all the time he is

away. Dan has been breaking his heart because he couldn't go,

as the firm had no one else to send to India but himself, till Mr.

Foster thought of this way out."

For a moment Maggie was too stunned to reply. Allan

going to India, and leaving her to learn the fact in this casual

way ! She felt as if she had been stabbed to the very heart. But

pride came to her aid. Her voice was perfectly steady when she

spoke.

"I'm not quite sure what I shall do, Miss Galloway. Mr.

Foster and I have not discussed my arrangements yet, but it is

probable that I shall go to my mother's while he is away. But

vou will find plenty of people ready to take my place here.

There are none of us who can't be done without, you know!"

"Oh, Mrs. Foster, you are the very life and soul of this

place!" cried a second girl, and Maggie smiled, a little wearily.

THEY KISSED AGAIN WITH TEARS 441

It was good to be appreciated by outsiders, if she were nothing

to the man who was all her world and more!

She never knew how she got through the rest of the evening.

Shortly after nine she came to the end of her endurance, and

decided to slip off home without waiting for her car, which came

for her at ten. Somehow, she was glad when she stepped out-

side to find that it was raining heavily, while the wind was rising

to a hurricane. The storm without but suited the storm within.

But even as she stepped off the pavement to cross the street, her

name was called, and she looked round quickly to see the family

doctor behind her. "I was just thinking of you," he said. "My

car is waiting at the corner. Let me take you home." And be-

cause she was too tired to resist, she let him lead her to the

waiting car. As it moved off, he took her hand in both his own,

and spoke in low, gentle tones.

"Mrs. Foster, I am going to exercise an old friend's privilege,

and ask a question which you may or may not resent. What is

wrong between Allan and you that he is set on going to India,

when I have warned him that it means certain death? His par-

ticular form of heart trouble need cause him very little incon-

venience here, but in India — well, my fears may be exaggerated

by my love for my lifelong chum, but the least that he can do is

to take my advice and see a specialist before he goes; and seeing

he won't listen to me, it is up to you to persuade him to do so,

and abide by the specialist's decision. Whatever the misunder-

standing between you, I know that you love each other truly,

otherwise I would not have spoken thus frankly."

Maggie's heart had almost ceased beating. Not only was

Allan going to India without telling her, but he was going, open-

eyed, into grave danger. What else could that mean but that he

was tired of his life with her, and with his dogged, middle-class

pride would prefer death to the scandal of an open separation?

Truly the shame and humiliation of it were more than she could

bear! Yet she must not let the doctor — Allan's friend more

than hers — know how terribly he had hurt her by his revelation.

So she pulled herself together, and spoke with wondrous calm.

"I'm afraid Dr. Lee, that I have no more chance of turning

Allan from his purpose than you. If his mind is made up to go

to India, he will go, no matter who should endeavor to keep him

back. I, for one, certainly will not try!"

There was a finality in her tone which told Arthur Lee that

the misunderstanding between the two was deeper far than he

had guessed, and the car had stopped at her door before he

could find words to reply.

She dismissed him with cold courtesy. "Thank you for

bringing me home, Dr. Lee," she said, when he had rung the

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electric bell. "I needn't ask you in, as Allan won't be home yet,

and I am going straight to bed."

He smiled a little crookedly.

"I see I have offended you, Mrs. Foster,'* he said; "but my

conscience tells me that I have done the right thing. Allan him-

self would never have told you about the heart weakness which

we only discovered when he tried to enlist, the very day after

the age limit was raised, and it is only right that you should

know."

"Allan tried to enlist?" she said, almost overwhelmed by

this last revelation. "And I never knew, and all but called him

a coward. He tells me nothing. I only learned by accident that

he was going to India ! So now you will understand how far we

have drifted apart. I am nothing — less than nothing — to him;

and I only wish you were able to tell me that my days were num-

bered, for life without Allan's love is not worth living!" And

before he could answer that sudden outburst the door was

opened, and she hurried inside and almost slammed it in his

face.

He whistled softly as he returned to his car. "Well, of

all the muddles! And Allan is equally sure she doesn't care.

He as good as said so today. Yet I'm almost afraid to interfere

further! Ah, if only the boy had lived!"

And Maggie, too, was thinking that, as she wearily climbed

the stairs to her own room, after refusing the maid's offer of

refreshment. Her one desire was to be alone, behind a se-

curely locked door, to face the wreckage of her life-happiness,

and try to find some way of escape for both of them which did

not necessitate the sacrifice of Allan's useful life!

But as she came to the door of the nursery, in which every-

thing was kept just as it was on the day the boy was taken from

them with such startling suddenness, she paused. Would she

go in, and kneel by the empty cot and cry aloud to God to let

this last bitter cup pass from her? She knew that Allan had

never crossed the threshold since the little white coffin had

been carried out. There would be no danger of him entering

and finding her there.

Yet when she opened the door he was there, kneeling beside

the boy's chair, his arms gripping the big teddy bear which

had been the boy's favorite plaything, his hands convulsively

gripping the tiny white slippers which had been flung to the

floor — and left there — when the boy was put to bed for the

last time!

"God help me to play the man," the deep rich voice was

saying. "I want them — thou alone knowest how I want them,

for nothing else speaks of him as they do, but it would break

THEY KISSED AGAIN WITH TEARS 443

Maggie's heart to find them gone, so give me the strength to

leave them, to be content to hold him only in my heart and

memory, for which I need nothing tangible, which the fingers

of the flesh hold!"

Maggie's grip of the door-knob tightened. And this was

the man she had thought heartless, indifferent, too absorbed

in his money-making to care for her grief, far less to share it,

and all the while a sorrow too deep for expression in words

had been eating into his very soul!

If she misjudged him so on the one count, why not on the

other?

Perhaps — and the color came slowly back to her cheek —

perhaps he really cared for her, and only his difficulty of ex-

pression had kept him from saying so. Perhaps he was even

breaking his heart, as she was, thinking that she did not care!

Surely God himself had made her open the door, and was urg-

ing her forward — forward till she was kneeling by her husband's

side, putting her arms around him, laying her cheek to his.

She felt him grow rigid under her touch, but she called all her

courage to her aid.

"Allan, oh Allan, can you forgive me?" she whispered. "I

thought you did not care when God took back the gift he had

but lent us for the time, to place it in the niche he keeps in

heaven to hold our idols, lest we should impair their whiteness!

And so I grew cold and outwardly indifferent, though you were

dearer far to me than you had ever been! I love you, Allan,

I can't tell how I love you! Won't you stay with me, and

let us commence afresh, for oh, I can't believe that you could

have loved the boy so very much, and be utterly indifferent

to his mother!"

"Ah!" Suddenly he loosened his grip of the inanimate

things which meant so much, that his arms might clasp the

woman who embodied all that they stood for and more. "In-

different to the boys mother — my wife! How far astray you

went, little woman, when you believed that, as far astray as I

went when I thought you did not care ! But thank God, the mis-

understanding is over, darling! We are together now! We

shall remain together till death itself shall part us, and even

that will only mean separation for a little while!"

And the healing touch of the little dead hand lay gently

upon them as they "kissed again with tears!"