Home Evening

Home Evening*

By Dr. Joseph F. Merrill, of the Presidency of the Granite Stake of Zic

I have been asked, my brethren and sisters, to speak a few

words about Home Evening, a topic that has been discussed in

this Tabernacle a number of times in the past. It does seem

strange that we are so forgetful, that we are so careless and indif-

ferent and that it is so necessary to remind us continually of

what is for our good. This, perhaps, is not because we do not

believe; not because we are not in sympathy with what we are

advised, instructed and urged to do, but because of conditions

by which we are surrounded.

Under the best of circumstances life, with the average man

and woman, is strenuous; there is a struggle; duties and obliga-

tions are numerous; we have much to do; and because of these

conditions, we sometimes are unable to do what we perhaps

would like to do, because we are weary or because there are

other things that more or less interfere.

I do not know how many of you Latter-day Saints remember,

as I very vividly remember, when President Taylor presented

this topic to us in the Tabernacle a number of years ago. I

never shall forget the spirit that impressed him and the promises

he made to us at the time if we would accept the advice that he

gave. I believe — I know — that he spoke under the inspiration

of his calling and of the Almighty; that he spoke words of truth,

and that the promises he made were the promises of our Father

unto us. He was the mouthpiece, giving us the word of the

Lord. Do you remember that he promised us that if we would

observe Home Evening faithfully and diligently, that no member

of our family would ever be lost; that there would be in the

homes of the people of this stake of Zion, a peace and love, a

purity and joy, that would make our home life ideal; that the

fathers and mothers would have such influence for good with

their children that they would have the indescribable joy of

seeing them faithful and true and grow up pure and remain

pure, and their feet would be preserved from the snares and pit-

falls of the evil one?

Notwithstanding these promises and notwithstanding the

fact that we have urged the observance of Home Evening in the

*Remarks by Dr. Joseph F. Merrill at the quarterly conference of the

Granite stake, Sunday, Aug. 26, 1917.

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wards of this stake, there is no question but that at the present

time there are but few people who observe it. And yet, I know,

my brethren and sisters, that those who have truly observed it

can testify that there has come to their homes the blessings

promised by President Taylor. But strange to say — even those

in charge of ward affairs sometimes forget. And so we have

public meetings of various kinds arranged on Home Evening,

when it was the advice that every Latter-day Saint family spend

that evening at home, and that public meetings and affairs be

placed at other times.

It makes no difference what we might think or do, there is a

responsibility of parenthood that we cannot escape (See Doctrine

and Covenants, sec. 68:25-28). It cannot be placed on other

shoulders. And if we are sincere and true, if we believe the

gospel of Jesus Christ, we must know that there is no responsi-

bility that is greater than the obligation we have assumed in our

families. The father must be true, faithful and loyal, devoted

and sincere and full of fidelity to his family, — to his wife and

children, true to those dependents pulling upon his heartstrings.

His whole life must be sincerely devoted to them. He must not

be unkind; he must not be impatient and overbearing; but he

must manifest the spirit of patience and gentleness and love. He

must treat his wife as his companion and friend and helpmate, —

he must treat his children as the nearest and dearest objects to

frm in life. And the mother also must remember the obliga-

tions that she has to her husband and children; and the children

must remember the obligations that they have to their parents.

And so, my brethren and sisters, if we will fully make our home

life as the gospel teaches us to do, it seems to me we can find

one evening a week when the family will assemble around the

hearthstone and make this the most pleasant and profitable time

of the whole week. And if fathers in the spirit of fatherhood,

and mothers in the spirit of motherhood, and children in the

spirit of obedience, will only accept this advice and observe this

evening there will come to the home an influence and joy that

otherwise will not be there.

Of course, some families are large and the children range

from infants to adults, having various kinds of responsibility;

hence it is difficult to find a time when all can be together. But,

I remember one of the old sayings, and I believe it to be true,

that where there is a will there is a way. Can it be that during

the whole week there is no single hour when we could cultivate

the love of our family and teach them, understand them, enter

into sympathy with them? That parent that is not one with his

children is not enjoying his family as he might, and he does not

have the influence that he might. It is possible for fathers and

mothers to be close to their children. It is possible for them to

HOME EVENING 205

he the confidants of their children, having the children come to

them with their joys, their sorrows and their troubles.

But, there are, unfortunately, a good many homes in which

there is a lack of this kind of confidence. We have heard re-

cently, for instance, of some of the best families of this stake in

which there are young men and boys that have developed, and

are developing, the tobacco habit. There are fathers and mothers

devoted to the Church, who yet lose control of their children.

I do not like to see any young man grow up in this Church and

develop the tobacco habit. Tobacco is a thing not naturally

attractive to a boy. He does not like it, at first. He must cul-

tivate the habit. If we are close enough to our children, we

will discover the first time that tobacco touches their lips. The

mother will do this when she kisses her boy good night. Is

there a mother who allows her boy or her girl, either, to leave

the house without giving him or her a kiss and receiving a kiss

when they return at night? If a mother has that habit, no

cigarette or tobacco in any form, can ever touch the lips of her

boy without she discovers it. The odor will remain. There are

young boys in their teens, every day by the scores, on the streets

that are using tobacco, boys of "Mormon" families, of our best

families. It must be a source of sorrow to the parents. And

yet, whose fault is it? Judge Nielsen of the Juvenile Court told

us at the last Priesthood meeting that it is his belief that parents

are responsible for the delinquency of their children, — and I

believe it. For it does seem to me that if we will only feel the

responsibility that we have and labor under the inspiration that

we might have in our families, it would be possible for us to

control our children, particularly in this respect. But we are

not doing it. One of the reasons why we are not doing it is

because we have failed to accept the advice given and observe

Home Evening. And so, my brethren and sisters, we are calling

anew the attention of families in this stake of Zion to this advice

and urge them to remember and observe it.

We feel there was never a time in this stake of Zion when

parents need to have more love, more care, more devotion than

at the present time. The large number of young army

boys among us are a danger to the young girls of this com-

munity; yet some parents resent the suggestion that their girls

need to be watched. There is no individual that is free from

temptation. There is no individual so strong that he may not

fall. There is no child, boy or girl, that is safe from temptation.

And so, however great the confidence we may have in our youths,

we must not allow them to be subjected, unguarded, to great

temptation. It does seem that a man in uniform is particularly

attractive to the girls. We have young girls, who seem to forget

modesty and to lose control of themselves completely in the

206 IMPROVEMENT ERA

presence of soldiers. They seem to think that to be with a boy

in uniform is the height of the joy of life. And the result will

be shame and sorrow in many, many homes in this community.

And who are these girls? The judge of the Juvenile Court said

many of them are "Mormon" girls, some of them live in this

stake.

Who are to blame? The boys and the girls? To some ex-

tent; but the parents cannot escape responsibility. It is, there-

fore, very important that you be with your girls and boys in

their pleasures. What do they do? Go out alone, the girls

without chaperones, in twos, threes, or fours to the resorts and

to dances and meet young men whom they do not know and

some of whom cannot be trusted. Make confidants of your chil-

dren. If you do the right thing you will go out with them and

be with them in their amusements. You should not deny them

proper and legitimate amusement and you should find a joy and

a pleasure in being with them. It is true that some young peo-

ple resent chaperones. That is because the parents have not

taken the right course with their children. They have not culti-

vated the companionship of the children.

Now, my brethren and sisters, you may not feel that these

matters are very important. But we believe them to be most

important. We believe we must be awake, as we have never

been awake, to stamp out evil and the tendencies toward evil

and we should all work in every way possible as we have never

worked before. The evil one is working in various ways. As

his time grows shorter and shorter, his efforts are being more and

more increased; and so, unless we are active and on the alert,

we shall find that we are being trapped in ways we do not know

and do not suspect. Therefore, we feel that it is necessary that

we shall pray and that we shall work and that we shall accept

the advice given us.

My brethren and sisters, in every home in this stake of Zion

we should like to have Monday evening observed as Home

Evening. There would be no objection to branches of the

family — married sons and daughters — meeting with the rest of

the family. Will we not develop this practice among us until it

grows into a habit? Some have not felt a particular need for

this. Some have felt that their children are grown and only

the parents remain. But whether the family be large or small,

composed of old or young, or of both, it is possible to have a

program of songs, stories, games, readings, experiences, instruc-

tions, prayers, etc., that shall be entertaining and profitable to

all. Even though there are, for one reason or another, no chil-

dren, the Home Evening may still be profitable. Is there any

husband so indifferent and forgetful that he has ceased to court

his wife? There was a time when an evening with her alone

HOME EVENING 207

was counted as the most beautiful evening of the week. That

husband is certainly an object of pity who has ceased to court his

wife. He has let the sweetness of life go out of his home. In

fact, his home has ceased to be a home. It is only a place to

live. Where love is not, there can be no home. Hence, so far as

I can see, there is no reason why we should not spend this

evening with our family in pleasure and profit and joy. If we

will do it there will come into our homes love and unity and

the spirit of peace and satisfaction that cannot, and will not,

otherwise be there so abundantly.

Now, my brethren and sisters, this is enough. We would

like the teachers, in their visits, to take this up and remind and

urge all the Saints to observe Home Evening every Monday

night. We would like the authorities of the various stake and

ward organizations to remember this night also and observe it

sacredly and avoid doing anything that will take the people

away from home on that evening.

Brethren and sisters, I feel certain, as positive and certain

as I am standing here, that if we will observe this advice, we

will have the blessings promised us by President Taylor of this

stake when the matter was first presented. We shall win our

children. They will be obedient and faithful and have power

to overcome temptations.

I pray that the Lord will help you, — that the Spirit of the

Lord will be with you, that you will seek the Lord and depend

upon him, and that you will be able to accept what is taught;

because if you do, you will find that the instructions given under

the Spirit are true, and rich blessings will follow their observ-

ance. The Lord help us to be faithful and true and assume the

responsibilities of rearing our children in purity and devotion

to the work of the Lord, I ask in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.