In Lighter Mood

IN LIGHTER MOOD. An old Scotchman said of a preacher "that he was invisible six days of the week and incomprehensible on the seventh." An Oklahoma man has discovered that there were department stores in ancient Hebrew days. He quotes the fourteenth verse in the fourteenth chapter of Job: "All my appointed time will I wait, till my change come." Teacher: "Willie, who was it that prompted you then? I heard some one whisper that date to you." Willie: "Please, ma'am, I expect it was history repeatin' itself again."— Tit-Bits. "Deed, Mistah Fommeh!" cried 'Rastus Johnsing, caught with the goods on in Mr. Fommeh's turkey coop: "deed, suh, I is n' a-stealin' dis yah bird,—Is a-takin' it in self defense. Hones' I is." "Self-defense? What kind of a lie are you trying to tell me?" "Plea«e, suh, mah wife she say ef I doan' fotch home a tukkey she gwine ter break ebery bone in mah body. An' so I jes' 'bleeged ter pertect mahse'f/'—Judge. Mothers in their training of children often find original ideas in the little ones that will out under some form or other. Thus, in Harper's Weekly, Mrs. Gertrude Atherton, the authoress, is quoted as telling of the tribulations of a friend in New York, who is the mother of a particularly mischievous boy of some seven years. "One evening recently," says Mrs. Atherton, "when the mother was getting the boy ready for bed after what she termed 'a day of unmitigated outrageousness' on the part of her hopeful, she said to him: " 'Now when you say vour prayers tonight, Richard, remember to ask God to make you a better boy. You have certainly been bad to-day.'" Accordingly, the youngster began his petitions to the Almighty in the usual form. Before closing with the customary "Amen," he added, "And please, God, make me a better boy." Then he paused a moment, and, to the utter consternation of the long-suffering mother, he concluded his prayer with unabated gravity: "Nevertheless, not my will, oh, Lord, but thine be done."