In Lighter Mood

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IN LIGHTER MOOD-

"This is tough luck," said Ham, mournfully, as he leaned out over the side of the ark. "What's wrong now?" queried Shem. "Why, all this water to fish in," replied Ham, "and only two fishin' worms on board." Ohio State Journal.

Not long before General Nelson A. Miles's retirement from the United States army, an inventor, with the assistance of sufficient cre- dentials, obtained an interview with him in regard to a novel type of bayonet. The weapon, so its author claimed, could not only be used for lethal purposes, but, in addition, was an excellent trench digger, buck- saw, ax, and bowie knife. General Miles heard his visitor patiently, and then said: "Once upon a time an old farmer drove into town and called on a dentist. To the latter he made known the fact that he wanted a full set of teeth. 'And,' he added, 'make 'em so that they'll fill my wife's jaws as well as my own, for I want to use 'em by day to chew terbacker, and she wants 'em by night to chew sweet flag.' "Well, general?" queried the inventor. "The point of the story," continued the veteran, in his blandest manner, "is that teeth, bayonets, or men that are used for hybrid pur- poses are invariably failures. Every man and every invention has to be a specialist, so to speak, to be successful."

The study of anatomy, recently introduced in the public schools, may be a good thing but it was evidently thrown away on a certain boy whose essay on the human body was read at an examination not long ago. This is what he discovered after a careful perusal of the text-books: "The human body consists of the head, thorax, abdomen and legs. The head contains the brains, in case there are any. The thorax con- tains the heart and lungs, also the liver and lights. The abdomen con- tains the bowels, of which there are five — a, e, i, o, u, and sometimes w and y. The legs extend from the abdomen to the floor, and have hinges at the top and middle to enable a fellow to sit when standing or to stand when sitting. Ex.