In Lighter Mood

IN LIGHTER MOOD.

A man recently said that he had an office boy who was slow but tare, and explained that he was slow to learn and sure to forget.

In a school for colored children there was a little boy who would persist in saying "have went." The teacher kept him in one night and said: "Now, while I am out of the room you may write 'have gone' fifty times." When the teacher came back he looked at the boy's paper, and there was, "have gone fifty times." On the other side was written, "I have went home."

The Irish rebuke is seldom bitter or priggish, but it generally finds its mark, and one which the London Star records is not an exception. A snobbish Young Englishman, accompanied by a small dog, receatly got into a street-car and sat down opposite an Irishman. The latter was immediately attracted by the animal, and after some advances, which were haughtily received by the master, asked outright what kind of a dog it was. "It is a cross between an ape and an Irishman," was the loud-voiced reply. "Faith, thin, we're both related to th' baste," retorted the Irishman, cheerfully.

From Burnley, England, comes to the column a story of a young married woman, whose husband brought her wealth without giving her either position or social distinction. But she was persistent, and started out in a coach to make calls on her new neighbors. "John," she said to the Lancashire lad she had invested with a foot, man's livery, "take the cards from my dressing-room and leave one at each house where we stop. I shall not get out of the carriage." The countryside was well covered within two hours, and she bade him start for home, saying, "Turn into the left road, John, and we'll stop at the Vernon's, the Smythe's and the Graham's on our way back." "Cawn't do it, mum!" protested John. "One of the nobs will 'ave to be left hout. Hi've honly the hace of spades and the ten of cubs left, mum!"