In Lighter Mood

IN LIGHTER MOOD.

Passing a rosy, unkempt boy, Miss remarked to her friend. "Isn't he a little honey?" "Yes," replied the more discriminating friend, "honey without a comb." * * *

"Have you seen my umbrella?" asked one member of another. "What sort of an umbrella was it?" "It had a hooked end." "I have not seen it," was the reply, "but I had a nice one once, and it had an end exactly like yours. It was hooked!" * * *

A notice which attracts the attention of many sojourners in a New Hampshire town is posted on the wall of the little railway station. The paper on which it is printed bears evidence of long and honorable ser- vice. Notice: Loafing either in or about this room is strictly forbidden, and must be observed. * * *

Philip D. Armour, like J. P. Morgan, would never hire a clerk for less than one thousand dollars a year. One day a young man applied to Mr. Armour for a clerkship. "Well, sir, how little do you want for your services?" asked Mr. Armour. "You must understand that times are hard. We are only kill- ing eight million hogs and five million beeves a year." The young man said: "Mr. Armour, I would not be here, if I did not know times are hard, and I'll be easy with you. I'll begin at ten dol- lars a week, ifyou will agree to increase my salary one dollar for every one hundred thousand beeves you don't kill under five million, and one dollar for every two hundred thousand hogs you don't kill under eight million." With his little, shrewd eyes, Mr. Armour looked sharply at the young man, then said, abruptly: "As a rale, I dislike precocious young- sters; they don't last. But I'll let you start in at twenty-five dollars a week, without conditions. I do it, too, with some fear that in a few

years you will own the business."