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An Incident of the Camp

Improvement Era, vol. 3, no. 4, February 1900, pp. 263 to 264

Whalen, Sarah

COLLECTION OF ANECDOTES. 263

send me to prison, but maby de good Lord won't say dat I stole, when I meet's him up dar. Dat's all dat I want's to say, judge, I

did take dat chicken." The old man sank into his chair. A death-like silence pervaded the room; was broken, after a minute, by Squire Thomp- it

son who arose and said, "Your honor, I wish to withdraw my charge," The judge arose, cleared his throat, and said, "This court finds the prisoner at the bar not guilty." The love of a father for his child had softened every heart.

AN INCIDENT OF THE CAMP. BY SARA WHALEN.

Everything was quiet in the little sleepy city of Watertown, and were it not for the fact that a United States arsenal and army post were located there, life would have been dull indeed. As it was, there seemed to be nothing particular for the soldiers to do after the morning and evening gun had been fired over blue Ontario and they had fished and bathed to their heart's content and gone through the tiresome round of drill. England was at peace with the United States and not even the faintest shadow of a war cloud could be seen in the sky. It then occurred to Colonel Rand to break the monotony of

camp life, especially in the ofl[icers' quarters, by having each one at mess tell a story or submit to being fined for not complying. Now there happened to be among the oflicers, Lieutenant Cass, a young man who had the greatest diflSculty in relating an incident or event of any nature whatsoever. It was more to his

taste to get leave of absence for two or three days to visit friends in the ports along the lake. But as army discipline had to be observed, and it had been agreed that each man should tell a story or be fined, Lieutenant Cass submitted without a murmur. After he had paid his forfeits several times, it occurred to him that paying fines was rather expensive and he would attempt

264 IMPROVEMENT ERA.

to relate a story. Accordingly when next his turn came, the officers listened to the following:

"Once upon a time there was a boy named Tommy, who lived New England village, surrounded by all the dignity for which in a New England villages are famous. Tommy being permitted to sit at table one day while his mother was entertaining company, was asked by her if he wished beans. 'No!' said Tommy in a rude manner and with loud voice. 'No, what?' said his mother. 'No, beans!' replied Tommy with louder voice than before." Lieutenant Cass had finished and although the officers thought the story did not amount to much, still they could not fine him; so "the joke was applauded, and the laugh went round." But one can imagine the surprise and consternation around the table when next it came the lieutenant's turn to tell a story to have him repeat the one which he had told before, and subsequently to have him regale them again and again with it. They had to accept it; they could not fine him, since no provision had been made in the agreement against repeating a story. However, after several repetitions, the officers hit upon a plan to surprise the narrator. When he reached the point where Tommy's mother asks, "No, what?" and before he could reply for Tommy, the officers with one accord shouted, "No beans!" That part of the story the officers practiced zealously until they could repeat it each time it was told, as one man. It afforded so much amusement for them that it became the chief story of the camp, and whenever distinguished guests came to visit them from Albany or New York, they were sure to be entertained by Lieutenant Cass telling the story of Tommy and the officers shouting the chorus of, "No beans!"