In Lighter Mood

IN LIGHTER MOOD.

"Will one in the class," asked the teacher of rhetoric, "give a better form to the sentence, 'John can ride the mule if he wants to'?" "John can ride the mule if the mule wants him to," said the boy with the bad eye. Chicago Tribune. * * *

Johnny, a Sunday School boy, having arrived at his eighth birthday, thought it would be real nice to write a letter to his papa, and this is the way he began: "Dear Papa: Whenever I am tempted to do wrong, I think of you and say: 'Get thee behind me, Satan!'" * * *

A Frenchman, who had a dispute with a Turk in Constantinople, and had stabbed him, was condemned to death. The criminal, who thoroughly understood the value of postponing trouble, thought on the means of saving himself; and as he knew that the Sultan was a great lover of elephants, he proposed to him to spare his life, and he would in return teach one of these animals to speak. The Sultan, who knew the senLe of the elephant, thought it possible that by pains and art one

might be taught to do so. Therefore, he accepted the proposal of the prisoner, and promised a handsome reward besides, if he should fulfill his purpose in a certain time. The Frenchman said that ten years would be wanted to instruct such a very large animal; if he was to teach it to speak Turkish quite perfectly, but he would be content to suffer the most cruel death at the expiration of that time, if he should not fulfill what he had undertaken. After they had agreed to this, he and a young elephant were confined in a tower, and supplied with abundance of provisions. After a little time, he was visited by some of his countrymen, who testified their astonishment at his mad promise. "You bring destruction on yourself by it," said one of them. "Do not fear," said the prisoner, "ten years is a great period of human life. I assure you that, before these are expired, one of us, the Sultan, the elephant or I

will be dead." * * *

A Chicago hotel manager employed a handy man going by the name of "Bill" to do his window-washing. One morning Bill, instead of doing his work, was amusing himself by reading the paper, and, as bad luck would have it, the manager looked in.

312 IMPROVEMENT ERA.

"What's this?" he said. Bill was dumbfounded. "Pack up your things and go," said the manager. So poor Bill went to the office, drew the money which was owing to him, and then went upstairs and put on his good clothes. Coming down, he went to say "goodby" to some of the other servants, and there he happened to run across the manager, who did not recognize him in his

black coat. "Do you want a job?" asked the manager. "Yes, sir," said Bill. "Can you clean windows?" "Yes, sir." "You look like a handy sort of fellow, I only gave the last man five dollars, but I'll give you seven." "Thank you, sir," said Bill; and in half an hour he was back in the — same old room cleaning the windows this time, and not reading the paper. Collier's Weekly. * * *

When John Hay now Secretary of State, was a boy, he was a regular attendant of the Presbyterian Sunday School at Warsaw, Illi"

nois. The Sunday School lessons partly consisted of committing to memory Bible verses, and to attain supremacy in this created quite a rivalry among the scholars. John Hay was sure to come out ahead from two to five answers, sometimes more, causing those of his comrades who were always behind him to regard him with envy. Consequently, when some of those boys heard that John had to wash dishes and do the churning for his mother, and, more than all else, that he wore an apron while at these duties, they fairly crowed. One morning, it was agreed by his comrades to get him out of doors while he had his apron on, and humiliate him by having two or three girls whom he rather liked ask him questions in regard to his house work.

Young Hay came out to [where the boys were, and answered the questions by saying that he washed dishes as his mother taught him; and then, with twinkling eyes, he gave the dishpan which he had with him a tremendous fling, contents and all, drenching whoever happened to be near enough, and, laughing loudly, ran into the kitchen. Hay and his big apron were never molested after that. 4< iic *

Customer (to baker's boy): "Is your bread nice and light, sonny?" Boy (confidentially): "Yes, ma'am; it only weighs ten ounces to the pound."