In Lighter Mood
Improvement Era, vol. 2, no. 9, July 1899, p. 706
Young Men’s Mutual Improvement Associations
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IN LIGHTER MOOD.
"I resolved to save up a little money for a rainy day. That after- — noon I placed a ten-dollar note safely away, and the next day it rained." * « «
"How many of these sheep got out of here?" asked the angry farmer. "I don't know," replied the new hired man, rubbing his eyes. "After I watched five or six of 'em jump over the fence I seemed to lose the count. That always puts me to sleep." « « *
A girl who had been very clever at college came home the other day and said to her mother: "Mother, I've graduated; but now I must inform myself in psychology, philology, bibli — "Just wait a minute," said the mother. "I have arranged for you a thorough course in roastology, boilology, stitchology, daruology, patchology and general domesticology. Now get on your apron and pluck that chicken." * * *
A boy's essay on corns. Corns are of two kinds —vegetable and animal. Vegetable corn grows in rows; animal corn grows on toes. There is the unicorn, Capricorn, corn dodger, field corn, and the corn that you feel the most. It is
said, we believe, that gophers like corn; but persons having corns do — not like to "go fur" if they can help it. Corns have kernels, and some colonels have corns. Vegetable corn grows on ears, but animal corns grow on the feet. Folks that have corns sometimes send for a doctor,, and if the doctor is corned, it would be better if they had not sent for him. The doctor says that corns are produced by tight boots and shoes,, which is probably the reason why when a man is tight they say he is corned. If a farmer manages well, he gets a good deal of corn on an
acre, but we know of a farmer that has one corn that makes the biggest acher on his farm. Another kind of corn is the dodger. The way it es^ — made is very simple, and is as follows that is if you want to know: You go along the street and meet a man that you know has a corn, and a rough character, then you step on the toe that has the corn on it, and see if you don't have occasion to dodge. In that way you find out what corn dodger is.