In Lighter Mood

IN LIGHTER MOOD.

An Arkansas editor says that the stingiest man in his town talks through his nose to save the wear and tear on his false teeth. * * *

"James, do you love your sister?" "Yes, sir." "Well, show me how you love her." The boy stood still, not knowing what to do. "James, how do I express my love for your mother?" "Oh, you give her some bank-notes, but I ain't got any." * * A respectable tradesman, who has a habit of opening his shop every morning about eleven o'clock, was surprised on arriving at his place of business, one day, to see a paper posted on his door bearing the following legend: "Not dead, but sleeping." * * * An old Irish soldier, who prided himself upon his bravery, said he had fought in the battle of Bull Run. When asked if he had retreated and made good his escape, as others did on that famous occasion, he replied: "Those who didn't run are there yit."

Yes, she visited the country, and considered herself superior to ignorant, common farmers. She was learned in botany, and, with lofty airs, told Farmer D she knew every plant that grew.The farmer coming from the field one day, plucked a cluster of blossoms and carried them to the house. "Do you know these blossoms?" he asked of her. "Oh, yes, of course I do," she replied. "They are very rare; and so beautiful —too sweet for anything. I am perfectly familiar with these flowers; I know all about plants; these grow on trees in the woods." "What is their name?" asked Farmed D , with a sly wink at his wife, who stood by, choking with laughter. "Why —really— can't I recall their botanical name just now; but I suppose you have some vulgar name for them." "Well," replied Farmer D , "we ignorant farmers call them potato blossoms." "You horrid thing!" cried she, spitefully, "to bring me such a mean old weed!" She cut short her visit and returned to town.