Editor’s Table: In Lighter Mood

IN LIGHTER MOOD. An elderly fat gentleman, in discussing a warm beefsteak at a Highland inn, called to the waiting boy: "Donald, bring me more bread; for I eat a great deal of bread to my steak." "Ay, and please your honor, ye eat a great deal of steak to your bread."

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Will Hamilton, the "daft man o' Ayr," was once hanging about the vicinity of a loch which was partially frozen. Three young ladies were deliberating as to whether they should venture upon the ice, when one of them suggested that Will should be asked to walk on it first. On the proposal being made to him, he responded: "Though I'm daft, I'm no' ill bred. After you, leddies."

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Said a pompous man of money to Professor Agassiz —"I once took some interest in natural science, but I became a banker, and I am what I am." "Ah," replied Agassiz, "my father procured a place for me in a bank; but I begged for one more year of study, then for a second, then for a third. That fixed my fate. Sir, if it had not been for that little firmness of mine, I would now myself have been nothing but a banker!"

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A story is told of a shrewish old Scotchwoman, who tried to wean her husband from the dram-shop by employing her brother to act the part of a ghost, and frighten John on his way home. "Who are you," asked the farmer, as the apparition rose before him from behind a bush. "I am Auld Nick," was the reply. "Are ye really?" exclaimed the old reprobate, with much satisfaction, instead of terror, "Man come awa'; gi'e's a shake o' your haun; I'm merrit tae a sister o' yours!"

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Upon some hasty errand Tom was sent, And met his parish curate as he went; But just like what he was —a sorry clown, It seems he passed him with a covered crown. The gown man stopt, and frowning, sternly said: "I doubt, my lad, you're far worse taught than fed." "Why, aye," says Tom, still jogging on, "that's true; Thank God! he feeds me, but I'm taught by you."