Acts of Special Providence in Missionary Experience

ACTS OF SPECIAL PROVIDENCE IN MIS- SIONARY EXPERIENCE, FULFILLMENT OF DREAMS. BY ELDER M. F. COWLEY. On the 5th day of July, 1876, 1 was told by the Patriarch Wm. McBride, "Thou must prepare thy mind, for the time is not far distant when thou shalt be called into the ministry, and shalt travel much for the Gospel's sake both at home and abroad." From my earliest remembrances I had anticipated that at some future time, I would, like other young men, be called to "fill a mission," but from the time the Patriarch uttered the words quoted above upon my head, the spirit of studying the Scriptures and preparing my heart for the work, rested upon me more intensely than ever before. Accordingly I studied and memorized many passages of Scripture upon the fundamental principles of the Gospel, which proved to be of inestimable value to me in subsequent years. The latter part of January, 1878, I was called to perform a mission in the Southern States. About that time Elder John Morgan was called to preside over the Southern States Mission. Before leaving home President Morgan was very careful to teach myself and others the absolute necessity of traveling without "purse or scrip," and to avoid sending home for money, stating that those who had been supplied with means from home, and depended upon that means for support in the missionary field had blocked up the

way of receiving testimonies, by the direct manifestations of God's power in their behalf, and in too many instances had made total failures of their missions. This counsel made a deep impression upon my mind, and I felt determined to carry it out. While this was a good resolution, it was probably made, as proven by subsequent events, too much in the same spirit of self-reliance which actuated Peter when he said to his Lord and Master, " Though all men deny thee yet will I not." Elder Henry W. Barnett and myself left Salt Lake City, February 24th, 1878, for the South, with instructions to spend some time in Graves County, Kentucky, among the relatives of Elder Samuel R. Turnbow of this city, and from whose nephew B. R. Turnbow, the Elders had received an invitation to visit. If we found no encouraging field of labor there we were to proceed to the State of Virginia. We spent one month in Kentucky, and held a number of public meetings and Gospel conversations. My companion felt impressed that we should go to Virginia, and started for that field about April 1st. Not having a very liberal supply of money we traveled by steamboat instead of rail from Paducah, Ky., to Nashville, Tennessee. From thence we proceeded by rail to Chattanooga, where we found ourselves in a strange city without sufficient means to pay our way to Big Lick, our railroad destination in the State of Virginia. We had enough, however, to pay for lodging a few days, and obtain a little food each day. We had addresses of members of the Church in Kentucky and Virginia, and concluded to write them for means, as a loan, to help us to our field of labor. We did so, but in every instance failed to procure assistance, and in some instances received no response to our letters. In the meantime the little money we had was well nigh exhausted, until we had to get trusted for our lodging, and for food expended sometimes five cents, sometimes ten cents a day each for a few crackers and a little cheese or a bowl of bread and milk. While in this straightened situation, I dreamed that I was housed up in a room where there was no air, and in struggling for breath I would turn to the North, then to the East, then to the South, but in vain, until I turned my face to the West, when it seemed that an opening was made in the enclosure and I breathed with freedom. Upon awakening I felt very depressed, for it seemed to me that the

dream meant that while we had friends North of us in Kentucky, East in Virginia, and South in Georgia, the only hope was to write home for money and this I fought against with a strong resolution. Again, I slept and dreamed that I received two letters from home in the same mail, one was a pale, cream-colored envelope, the other, the old-fashioned deep yellow, and addressed to me in my mother's hand-writing. When I awoke in the morning I was still depressed, for while the dreams were clear to my mind as having a decided importance, it was against my inclination to write home for money, so I held out for several days, and did not tell my companion the dream. In a few days, however, Elder Barnett made a remark to me, which impressed me that it was my duty to write for means, which I did, and when the answer came, there were two letters instead of one. One was contained in a pale, cream-colored envelope, the other a deep yellow,addressed to me in my mother's handwriting, in all particulars just as I had seen it in my dream, and containing means for our assistance. During a six weeks' sojourn in Chattanooga without friends and short of means, I also had a dream which was given to me more than once, and which many Elders also experience, and that was that I was home from my mission before my time; and any Elder who has such a manifestation knows what remorse and sorrow rests upon him while in the dream, and what joy and peace fills his soul when he awakes and finds himself still far away from home and kindred where duty casts his lot. In one of these dreams I saw President John Taylor, and was very fearful of meeting him lest he should chide me for being home too soon; but when he spoke, he smiled and in terms of kindness said, "Well you're home, are you; you can prepare to go to Georgia now." I finished my mission, was honorably released, and was home a little less than six months, when I was called again to the Southern States. Having been so greatly blessed in Virginia, having so many friends there, I naturally inclined to go there on my second mission, but President Morgan did not want me to return to that field but assigned me to the State of Georgia to labor with Brother John W. Taylor. Thus fulfilling my dream, though President Morgan knew nothing of the dream until after its fulfillment. To some these manifestations may appear childlike and

simple. Suppose they do; we are all children —"children of a larger growth." The Prophet Joseph Smith said if the Lord should speak to a child he would speak as a child, that the child might understand. The lessons I learned by my experience of trial and dreams in Chattanooga were very useful. The experience taught me that while a doctrine is true and designed to be continuous, such as the injunction to travel without "purse and scrip," no man can carry it out by his own strength, it must be done by the help of the Lord, or it can not be done at all. It is one thing to know the truth of a doctrine in theory; it is another thing to know how to rightly apply it. The manifestation of being home before the right time so filled me with chagrin and sorrow, that I was constantly buoyed up with courage to discharge my duty and be contented in my field of labor until honorably released to return to my mountain home.