Sustaining the Glory of Motherhood

Sustaining the Glory of Motherhood By Claire S. Boyer THE fact that it seemed necessary to establish a Mother's Day is at least a slight substantiation of the fear of the diminishing glory of motherhood. With the passing of large families and the so-called "family man," and the substitution of the modern triumvirate — the only child, the business man and the society woman — the American home has not only been threatened but badly shaken up. The birth rate has fallen, crime has increased, and divorce has made us the stand- ing joke among nations. And all because of the fading glory of motherhood. It has faded for woman and for man alike. The pride man used to have in a large family has been reduced to an apology, and the mother's former crown of glory has been changed to a bandeau of pity. "Poor thing," we sigh, and thank our lucky stars we have a family of only two. "Poor man," we ejaculate. "It must keep him pegging, don't blame him for seeking diversion; that many children would drive any man mad." So the wise ( ? ) man and the wise woman have limited their off- spring and "put it over," so to speak, on the unfortunates who are battling with many mouths to feed, much noise and many prob- lems to ferret out. Economics has had something to do with the shrinking of the family; desire for freedom and pleasure have also done their share; but sentiment has been the "nigger in the wood pile," the unseen force which has done its best to destroy the home by shattering the glory of motherhood, and it began by undermining man first and woman afterwards. The heart of every woman is a fortress of strength. It is built on the firm foundation of the instinct love. Home and chil- dren are her greatest desires, and always will be. But her heart can be led astray through the very avenues of its strength. In the name of love her desires can be diverted to other aims. Filial love can cause her to sacrifice her own desires and so direct her interests into the field of business. Or the craving for man's love can make her set up false gods for herself, gods of beauty and freedom and gold — and all in the name of love. And, strange to say, man, in the name of love, often admires the diverting type of woman, seeks her company, pays her the hom- age, and lets the mother heart suffer in obscurity, or become over-

576 IMPROVEMENT ERA May, 1929 grown with prickly resolutions to smother her instinct and become the popular object of man's interest. Woman's challenge today is: Is man interested in children? Does he believe in the glory of motherhood? If so, why doesn't he help sustain it? Mother's Day, once a year, is somebody's idea of honoring motherhood, but if man's attitude all other days belies that honor, then the day becomes merely a mockery. If man listens to and indulges in obscene jokes on maternity, he is not upholding that which should be sacred in woman's heart and in his own. As to its sacredness, many men and women doubt. But it is certainly true that God has given us the power of creating life, and surely we should respect and revere that privilege. Go to a vaudeville any of the 364 other days, and the greatest applause will be given to the dirty-joke dealer, out of whose filthy mind come degrading insinuations about motherhood. Where is the glory here? It is dragged enthusiastically through the mire. Manhood should revolt at such animalisms, but instead some men, and, to their shame, some women applaud, and such jokesters are kept on the stage to befoul innocent minds and besmear young hearts still believing in the glory of motherhood. Of course, this is just a general attitude. Man justifies himself by saying that he doesn't carry this into his home, but that kind of stuff is hard to clean out of the mind. Try it. On the one hand, then, we have an open tearing down of the glory of motherhood, with the approbation of the majority; on the other, we have the failure of man to sense and appreciate his relation to this would-be glory. Men marry with little thought concerning their children, except that, as natural consequences, they will accept them and try to maintain them. Not long ago I saw an engaged couple who had their family all planned out. They talked happily of their pros- pects. People were shocked. One said, "They are like a couple of children planning to play house and buy them some dolls." An- other said, "If they do talk about such things, they should do so in private." They had an enviable attitude toward marriage. It took an expert to give them credit. He said, "What a refreshing couple, how frankly and proudly they undertake the business of marriage." How different that is from another case I know. They had been married some time. Neither had spoken of children. When the subject was mentioned to her she threw up her hands in horror, "Oh, it would be a calamity if we had children; we can't afford them." Yet they had every luxury their two selfish hearts could desire. Any- one could foretell shipwreck!

May. i9i9 SUSTAINING THE GLORY OF MOTHERHOOD 577 Surely the subject of children should be of paramount interest to those thinking of marriage and entering it. How else can there be any glory at all? And when the moment for hope of the ful- filment of the desire for children arrives, man has a special privilege to let woman feel that it is a glory and that he is as happy as she can be over the prospects. Many a young girl's heart has soared to the sacred clouds only to sink at the way in which her husband re- ceived the news of a prospective child. The glory of motherhood that she has kept immaculate and divine has suffered a terrible collapse. Love and hope often hang on a single sentence, and one's whole attitude toward life can be changed from an exquisite one to a horrible one, if a perfect moment is mangled. All through life these perfect moments arrive, and married happiness depends upon the ability of man and woman to recognize and appreciate them instead of treating them lightly or degradingly. It is quite possible, then, that man's sentiment toward mother- hood could be bettered. There are other moments, too, besides those which could be kept perfect — those that are introduced into a home which destroy love and cause embitterment. Woman is prone to enjoy a certain amount of sacrifice, especially if it be sacrifice for her children. But there is nothing that wounds her more deeply than to have her husband, instead of appreciating her unselfishness, blame her for looking less attractive than her childless neighbor, and pro- ceed to pay attention to the type of woman who has evaded this holy responsibility. Lack of appreciation of motherhood is a deep cause for small families. If a man persist in adoring the beauty that is skin deep and letting nobility of character go unthanked, he will have no one but himself to blame for his broken home and eventu- ally a broken nation. I want to reiterate that true women like sacrifice and hard work, and would be only too glad to have more children if their attitude and labors were appreciated. A little praise, a little commendation, a little more pride in the children she has worked so hard to perfect, these are the illusive sunbeams of homely happiness. Recently there has been a noticeable interest in child-training. The home has been blamed for the nation's crime, and parents have been called on the carpet. Mothers have read all the magazine ar- ticles they could find, but fathers, on the whole, have as yet been too occupied to spend any time in study. The sport magazine, me- chanics, and others are far more diverting for them, so the children have been left in the mother's hands. That, too, has had its effect upon the mother heart and its glory. Woman wants man to be interested in his offspring, vitally interested. For it is only as he can see the glory of childhood that he can realize that it is an honor to be a parent. Perhaps fathers could spend a little more time with

578 IMPROVEMENT ERA May. 1929 their children, understand them, teach them, enjoy them. Just the other day a man said, "I'll be glad when my son is off my hands;" and his wife said to me, "I hope you never have a daughter, they're too big a problem these days." With that attitude toward children, how can the glory of motherhood live? How can marriage be re- garded as sacred? How can home be the happiest spot on earth? How can a nation be strong morally and spiritually? How can America lead the world? So it is largely in the hands of the young manhood of the nation to save the stability of the home by sustaining the glory of mother- hood. Sentiment can and should be cultivated against any debauch- ery of maternity. A sentiment ennobling every phase of home life should be encouraged. Educational institutions do very little to- ward creating an interest in home life. Churches have recently seen the need and have partly come to the rescue. But the home always has been and very likely always will be the source of sentiment, and hence it falls again to the lot of parents to glorify motherhood and fatherhood, so that eventually the ideal of young people of both sexes will be to have a family of which they and the state and nation can well be proud. To My Mother Infinite tenderness in your dear hands, Infinite love in your eyes, Kindness divine in your heart. Mother dear, Stilling a wee baby's cries, Guiding our faltering footsteps aright. Comforting hearts sore in pain, Cheering us when we are deep in despair, Giving us courage again. Teaching us purity, goodness and truth Through your example, dear heart. Always forgetful of self, Mother dear, Doing e'er more than your part! Small wonder poets and men e'er have said, "Mothers are near to divine!" Oh, may God bless you and keep you, I pray, Happy always. Mother mine! Nona H. Brown