The Egotist

The Egotist By H. L. Johnston "My boy, you are starting out to win your way in the world. You will find pitfalls and temptations around every corner in) your path through life. One of these temptations will be the lure of money, another^ th«j power of position, and. perhaps the greatest of all these evils is the smug blinding idea of ego or belief in your own individual self. "My boy, always remember that self-confidence is a very good quality to fin..l in a man, but when it blinds him to the fact that self confidence in reality comes through asking and receiving this gift from God, then it becomes a great evil and breaks one of the ten commandments, for he is a worshiper of a false god — himself." These words uttered by my aged father years ago now per- sisted in ringing in my ears as I lay gazing into the starlit heavens from my blanket onj the windswept sands of a California desert. It had been a day of bitter disappointment and I had been voicing my troubles to my solitary companion, Silent Terry, known all over the mining districts of eastern California. Silent Terry had prospected since a young man of thirty. He was now old and grizzled, bent and stiffened, but his years of solitude, close to the works of God had made him a philosopher. It was seldom that Silent Terry said much, but on rare occlasions he talked and then it seemed as if the flood-gates had been opened and wisdom came from his lips in a veritable torrent. He listened patiently as I talked in my egotistical manner, hour after hour. At last he showed signs of life, and grunting, he sat up and said: "Harrington, I understand from your talk that you have been the late Superintendent of the Ajax Quarries." "Yes." "And that you have been discharged because the 'coyote' you placed in the tunnel didn't pan out the way you thought it would. Go ahead and tell me all about it." "Well, Silent, three months ago the Ajax came to the con- clusion that they would tunnel from the lov/er quarry to the upper one, place a carload of powder or so in the tunnel, key it, and thus blow the two quarries together. There was a solid wall of granite between the two places and if the thing was worked right this wall would be broken up into three of four ton bould- ers which they intended to ship to the San Pedro breakwater. Then the two quarries would be made into one and much time and labor saved, not to mention a lot of money. They sent for me. Of course, I could do it, and soon told them so. I was so confident in myself that I wrote into the

THE EGOTIST 803 contract that in case of failure I would forfeit the two thousand dollars they offered me to do the work. There wasn't a thing about that 'coyote' that I didn't know about, and I started to work on it the very next morning." "Did you ask help from anyone?' asked Silent. "Who would I ask?" I queried. "God," he answered. "Pooh. Why should I ask. Him? I wasn't needing any help from anyone. I have a diploma from one of the biggest engineer- ing schools in the country," I replied. "Yes, I understand, but He is one of the greatest of en- gineers." "Oh, I see," I jeered, "but tell me, what did he have to do with this 'coyote'?" "We'll see later. Go ahead with your story." "I worked two months in that tunnel, Silent. I put in nearly two carloads of blasting powder, wedged and keyed it with tons of concrete, ran a big bunch of electric wires through the concrete to my blasting battery so as to have all the shots fire at once, and at seven o'clock that evening I confidently pushed down the lever and the blast was off. "There came a roar and a shock that was terrific. It threw me off my feet. When the rocks had quit falling and the smoke and dust had cleared away. I walked over to where the tunnel had been to view my workmanship. What I saw made me sick. "There had been ten hoisting derricks in the upper, and eight in the lower, quarry. These had been blown to bits and ruined. Forty cars, sent out by the railroad for the next day's loading had been reduced to twisted hulks of steel, but when I looked at what was left of the rock barrier, my heart sank into my shoes, and I stole aWay, for1 there wasn't a saleable rock left of the wall, just a shattered pile of ruined granite. "The Ajax fired me, of course, and here I am with you. I'm broke all right, but nothing in the world can keep me down. We'll be looking at that old mine of yours tomorrow, and I can tell you in thirty minutes just what she is worth." "Is that so?" mumbled Silent, "Why, yes, Silent. That's what, you hired me for, isn't it?" "Yes. Harrington. I hired you to look the old mine over but I've just about come to the conclusion that you think you know too much. I'd rather have a man who isn't so all-fired sure of himself. Say, son, will you get sore at me if I try and teach you a little lesson?" I was puzzled and a little bit worried by Silent's change of mind, but I reasoned that perhaps his years on the desert had

804 IMPROVEMENT ERA made him a little queer; anyway, even if he was criticizing and doubting my knowledge, I must humor him, for I really needed his money, so I replied: "No, I won't get sore. Go ahead. I'm listening." Silent thought for a few moments, then asked: "Why didn't Germany win the war?" "Oh, that's easy. Because she was on the wrong side." "Do you think that anyone in the world could have con- vinced the kaiser that he wasn't powerful enough to ride rough- shod over every nation on earth?" "I guess not." "Well, the Kaiser was a victim of ego. He thought of noth- ing but himself, his army of trained men, his great iron ships. They were the false god he worshiped. Where is he now? An exile — his beloved empire ruined." I thought for a moment or two and then muttered: "Oh, I see. "Harrington, there was the biggest case of ego the world has ever seen. There was a speedy fall. Now I want you to understand that I am not trying to compare you with the ex- ruler of Germany, but I am of the opinion, that you think only of yourself and your own power, and that you are blind to the fact that all great things are accomplished with the help of the Eternal God above. A man must have trust and faith in God before he can have any degree of confidence in himself. God gives everything asked for in humility, and again God takes things away. It is past our understanding; but, Harrington, if you had been humble and had faith in God there is a chance that he would have so directed you that the 'Coyote' would not have been a failure. Instead you exalted yourself and your fall was great, wasn't it?" I was angry and did not answer. "Take a look into the heaven," continued Silent. "See those wonderful stars, that beautiful moon, those great and glorius mountains in the distance. Can't you ask yourself the question that we find in Psalms 8 = 3, 4, which goes like this * * * 'When I consider thy heavens, the work of thy fingers, the moon and the stars, wlrch thou hast ordained; what is man, that thou are mindful of him.' Can you see, my boy, that you are indeed luckv if God even notices you — you who think you are so wonderful?" It was then that the words spoken by my father, so many years before started ringing in my ears For a lona; time I wa3 silent and then arose to my feet and grasped Silent Terry's toil-stained hand. Tears dimmed my eyes, and I was not asham- ed of them for once in my life. At last I found myself mur-

THE EGOTIST 805 muring: "Silent, you have opened my eyes. I would indeed be lucky if God so much as gave me a passing thought!" Delta, Utah Rainbow Bill Clean and strong and versatile Is our schoolmate Rainbow Bill All the colors of his name Glow with no uncertain flame Where the gem of honor lies, In his dark, expressive eyes. All the sports on Temple Hill Love the name of Rainbow Bill. He's as peaceful as a lamb, And as gentle as a dove; He can take his share of slam From the boys who have his love. You may fool him many times And retain his friendship still, But I warn you, in my rhymes, Trifle not with Rainbow Bill. Once we form'd an honor ring, And went out to haze a thing That had skulked and run away From his class on Founders' Day. When the fun was at its height, And the signal flash'd for fight, Someone shouted, "Peace, be still! Let me speak for Rainbow Bill!" But we answer'd "Coward, back!" And our Captain Stanley Black, Struck young Rainbow in the face, And he grovell'd in disgrace — In disgrace, but not for long, For the man was young and strong, Even now I feel the thrill That was staged by Rainbow Bill. To his feet he quickly springs; With a hammer-blow he brings Stanley writhing at his feet Then, defiant, turns to meet Badger Wolf, and Tiger Brown Both of whom had won renown, And were eager for the mill That would finish Rainbow Bill. Colors red and green and blue Were presented to the view Of the fighters, great and small. One by one our heroes fall — Some had fought and run away. They would come some other day Or would get a gun and kill The arch-demon Rainbow Bill. Brigham Young University, Provo, But they didn't get the gun, Neither did they stage the fight. Bill had spoiled our little fun And impair'd our sense of sight. Though our heads and hearts were sore When we came from Temple Hill, We have never asked for more At the hands of Rainbow Bill. He's as peaceful as a lamb, And as gentle as a dove; He can take his share of slam From the boys who have his love. You may fool him many times And retain his friendship still, But I warn you, in my rhymes, Trifle not with Rainbow Bill. Rainbow heard the bugle call, And his face grew stern and white, While his stature straight and tall Seem'd to tower to greater height. "In the name of liberty" — How our leaping spirits thrill As we listen'd to the vow Of our schoolmate Rainbow Bill — "In the name of liberty! In the name of God I stand To defend the Banner free That is waving o'er our land!" Then he slowly marched away Down the slope of Temple Hill. We could only proudly say, "God be with you, Rainbow Bill!" It may be the marble bust Of the Unknown Soldier brave Now commemorates the dust And the life that Rainbow gave. Fierce and fiendish gods of war Crush'd his body, not his will, For no shot nor shell could mar The immortal Ranbow Bill. When the drums shall cease to beat And the battle-flags are furled When the waves of war retreat From the shores of all the world, May the Flag Without A Stain To all nations flash the thrill That it flashed into the brain Of our schoolmate, Rainbow Bill. Utah Alfred Osmond