Marriage and Married Life

Marriage and Married Life

By Edwin F. Parry, Bishop of the Sixteenth Ward, Salt Lake Stake

Young men and women who are contemplating matrimony are interested in the subject of marriage and married life. It is natural and proper that they should be. Marriage is the most serious step in life, and before entering into the sacred relations of wedlock people should thoroughly consider the subject, and be assured that they have made a wise choice of companionship. A couple should know that they really love each other and are not attracted to each other by a passing infatuation. Hasty marriages are not safe. Persons expecting to marry ought first to become fully acquainted with each other by a period of courtship. Marriage should be regarded as an eternal union and when ;

young couples truly love, it is abhorrent to them to think of it otherwise. It is distressing to look forward to the time when the sacred and endearing ties that bind them shall be severed eternally and their joy shall end. "You are mine forever!" each one's heart fondly proclaims, and their lips also give expression to the feeling. True religion promises a life of eternal duration and happiness. Eternal life is the greatest gift of God to his children. All that religion teaches is in the nature of a preparation for eternity; all its ordinances and covenants are everlasting; all the gifts it offers are to be enjoyed forever. Why should not the binding ties of marriage, the dearest of all, be just as enduring? Marriage is the foundation of the family. The divine intent is that the family shall continue throughout eternity; but how can it, if the marriage contract is to be broken? The Lord never designed that marriage should be a temporal institution. If people generally would regard the uniting of the sexes as an eternal contract there would be more seriousness in making such contracts, and there would be fewer separations and divorces. Marriage is an essential ordinance of eternal salvation and exaltation. "The man is not without the woman, nor the woman without the man in the Lord," the scripture avers. Joseph Smith taught that "except a man and his wife enter into an everlasting covenant and be married for eternity while in this probation, by the power and authority of the Holy Priesthood, they will cease to increase when they die; that is, they will not have

—

696 IMPROVEMENT ERA

any children after the resurrection.But those who are married by the power and authority of the Priesthood in this life, and continue without committing the sin against the Holy Ghost, will continue to increase and have children in the celestial glory.

• *   * In the celestial glory there are three heavens or degrees;  and in order to obtain the highest, a man must enter into
  

this order of Priesthood, [meaning the new and everlasting covenant of marriage] and if he does not, he cannot obtain it. He may enter the other, but that is the end of his Kingdom; lie cannot have an increase." Joseph Smith's Teachings. The only valid marriages for eternity are those performed by authority of the Holy Priesthood, in sacred places. In modern revelation the Lord has said, "If any man marry him a wife in the world, and he marry her not by me, nor by my word and;

he covenant with her so long as he is in the world, and she with him, their covenant and marriage are not of force when they are dead, and when they are out of the world; therefore, they are not bound by any law when they are out of the world." Speaking of those who are united in wedlock by his law, and by the new and everlasting covenant, the Lord says their marriage and the promises given them shall be "of full force when they are out of the world and they shall pass by the angels ;

and the Gods which are set there, to their exaltation and glory in all things, as hath been sealed upon their heads, which glory shall be a fulness and continuation of the seed for ever and — ever." Doctrine and Covenants, 132:19. Great promises are made by the Lord to those who obey his law respecting marriage; provided, of course, that they are true to their covenants. None of these promises are made to those who marry outside of the sacred covenant of the Holy Priesthood. The young men and young women of our Church should understand that marriages performed by a bishop or a stake president are only civil contracts, and are the same as those performed by civil officers. They are valid and binding while mortality lasts, but do not extend into the life beyond. Frequently young people of our Church are united by the civil authority with the expectation that in the near future they will go to the temple and be sealed as husband and wife for eternity. Would it not be far better were they to prepare themselves and go to a temple and be united according to the revealed plan when they are first married? Is it consistent for Latterday Saints to do otherwise? Young men and women of our Church who believe in the sacredness of the eternal marriage covenant take serious risks when they marry by the civil ceremony. Often it happens that they rear families of children who in turn get married and move away from the parental home,

MARRIAGE AND MARRIED LIFE 697

the family gets scattered before the parents have awakened to the importance of having their marriage performed by the authority of Heaven, and of having their children sealed to them according to the order of the Church. Imagine the difficulty of gathering these scattered children! Then, again, some of their children may be married to persons not of their own faith, and are not privileged to enter a holy temple, or they may be indifferent and unwilling to attend to this ordinance; and it may be that their indifference is the result of their parents' conduct. Some may wonder why so many married couples separate; or, if they do not separate, they live unhappily together. Is it not on account of neglect on the part of one or both? Happiness, to be retained, needs attention and study. Why should it not be regarded as a business and treated as such? It is the most important concern of life and deserves the best of attention; not only during the "honeymoon" period, but throughout life. If a man and woman really love each other when first married that love should continue and increase as the years go by. There is no reason why it should decrease so long as they guard their affections and are sincere in their conduct towards each other. If they try as hard after marriage as before to be pleasant and agreeable they will not fail to retain mutual affection. After marriage, everything in their power should be done to retain their love, and to prevent any estrangement. A man should not let any hobby or business interest draw his attention from his wife, or cause him to lose interest in his home and family. Nor should a woman permit social or public affairs to turn her from the interests of home and the love of husband and children. The same solicitude for each other's welfare that is shown during courtship should continue after marriage. Courtship ought to last through life. Eternal vigilance, is \ie price of happiness as well as of liberty.

My Confidence "The Lord shall be seen over them. * * * The Lord of hosts shall defend them."— Zechariah 9:14, 15.

No bomb or shell can o'er me burst. Without my God permits it first. Then let my heart be kept in peace, His watchful care will never cease.

No bomb above, nor mine below, Shall cause my heart one pang of woe. The Lord of Hosts encircles me, He is the Lord of earth and sea. Stratford, London, E. 15 Mrs. E. Pool, through courtesy John H. Hall