In Lighter Mood

IN LIGHTER. MOOD "Well, Pat," said the doctor, "J hope your master's temperature is lower this morning than it was last night." "Well, sur, that's hard to till, sur," replied Pat. "Why?" said the doctor, smiling. "He died this mornin', sur." Cornering Her. — Little James, while at a neighbor's, was given a piece of bread and butter, and politely said, "Thank you." "That's right, James," said the lady. "I like to hear little boys say 'thank you.' " "Well," rejoined James, "if you want to hear me say it again, you might put some jam on it." — New York Mail. The German proprietor of a Brooklyn delicatessen store has got far enough along to pun in English. A writer in the New York 5mm reports the fact. Hanging in the window of the little shop is this advertisement : "The Best You can do is buy our Wurst." — Youth's Companion. Spelling reformers are not without a sense of humor, else their task would be burdensome. Prof. Brander Matthews said, at a meeting of the reformers, "A friend recently told me that no self-respecting hen would lay an egg with one g, and that no self-respecting cat would ever begin to purr with one r. I answered that, on the other hand, no self-respecting hen would ever stand on a leg with two g's, and that no selfrespecting cat would allow any one to stroke its fur with two r's, and my argument squelched him." — Youth's Companion. A Washington man one day went out of town for a day's fishing, taking a luncheon with him. When he had reached the stream where he intended to enjoy his sport he discovered that he had dropped his luncheon somewhere on the way. He hastened back to look for it. Presently he met a burly darky, who seemed very well pleased with himself, and who was in the act of brushing crumbs from his lips with his sleeve. "Did you pick up anything in the road as you came along?" asked the Washingtonian, with a suspicious glance at the negro. "No, sah." promptly returned the colored man. "I didn't pick up nothin'. Couldn't a dog hab found it an' et it up?"