Herbert Melbourne, IV

HERBERT MELBOURNE. BY EDWIN F. PARRY. IV. It was a beautiful evening in June, or more properly speaking, it was late in the afternoon; for the sun was high above the horizon when Herbert Melbourne left the railway office, having finished his work for the day. He walked home alone and in silence, purposely avoiding the companionship of any one of his several friends who walked in the same direction to their places of residence. He was engaged in serious thought, as he had been during a greater part of the day. Usually Herbert was jovial and always pleasant. He was serious at times, and this day he was unusually so. He greeted his mother on entering the door with a somewhat forced smile, and an attempted word of cheer. But it was soon apparent to his dear old mother that all was not well with her son. Something troubled him; and she, with mother-like intuition, had a suspicion of what it might be that made him so downcast. At supper he had very little to say. To his mother's inquiries as to whether he was ailing physically, he assured her that his health was first class. Then to relieve her anxiety he simply remarked that he was troubled over some problem that confronted him in his daily labors. Still his mother felt that the problem, whatever it might be, was of an unusual character; and she was not entirely satisfied in her mind that the business problem was the only cause of his seriousness. Perhaps there was a love problem troubling him as well, she thought. She had heard whisperings from gossiping neighbors about his being in love with Alice Williams. While

HERBERT MELBOURNE. 271 she placed but little confidence in these stories, she surmised that there might be some truth in what was reported as current gossip. Among the things she had heard was that her son had proposed to Alice and had been rejected, or at least that the girl had given him an evasive answer. Another story was that Alice had a rival suitor who was very attentive to her, and who was more of an adept at love-making than was Herbert. She could easily believe there were more engaging lovers than was Herbert, judging by the standard as set by thoughtless young ladies. For Herbert was not what might be termed a popular young man among the girls. He was "too sensible" for that, as his mother expressed it. She believed, also, that Alice was "too sensible" to be captivated by any foolish flirt or adventurer who might come along. Soon after eating his supper, Herbert put on his hat and walked out without saying a word as to where he was going. Really he did not know where he would be led. He had no destination in mind. He was restless. He could not content himself with remaining at home, and he had no particlar errand to take him away. He had a feeling that he would like to be alone. He was wrestling with conflicting thoughts within his mind; and at present he was not prepared to open his mind to anyone, not even to his mother, to whom he always went for comfort ad advice. The truth was, he knew pretty well just what his mother's advice would be if he submitted the matter to her, and he was not yet sure he was prepared to follow her counsel. Instinctively his footsteps were directed "down-town" towards the office; but as he had no business to draw him there at that time of the evening, he simply hesitated a moment and then slowly walked on. He met but few of his acquaintances, and passed them with a simple word of recognition. On, on he went, walking not so briskly as he was wont to do. His head was bowed, and he was in deep and troubled thought. He continued in the same general direction until he found himself high up on the hill-side beyond the farthest distant residence north of the city. He was entirely alone and beyond the reach of the noise of the town. All about him was silent. A gentle breeze was blowing from the canyon. The sun was sinking behind the western mountains. The scene at his feet.

272 IMPROVEMENT ERA. — the city with its thousands of trees in their full preen foliage — and the golden sunset, were magnificent, glorious. But to him on this occasion they had no beauty. He was not in a condition of mind to appreciate them. He sat upon a rock and rested his limbs, but he found no rest for his brain. With elbows on his knees and his face buried in his hands he sat and pondered, and tried to decide what he should do. Then he would wonder why his peace of mind should be disturbed by such seemingly small trifles. Generally, his life had been happy, why could it not remain so? But now a combination of circumstancea had conspired to destroy his tranquility of spirit. For half an hour he remained here scarcely moving. It began to get darker, still ho did not feel that he was ready to retrace his steps to seek his home. It seemed hard for him to yield, but at last he concluded to pray there and then for guidance. Of himself he was not capable of deciding upon the proper course to take. So he knelt by the boulder upon which he. had been resting, and poured out his soul unto his Maker. He prayed as he had never done before. He felt to resign himself to the Lord, and be led by him in the course he should pursue. Then he arose, wiped the moisture from his eyes, and began to descend towards the city. He felt relieved as from a heavy burden. His heart and his footsteps were light, still he was not certain as to what he should do, but was fully decided that he would "go home and confide all his anxieties to his mother. The immediate cause of all his mental distress was the receipt of a letter from the President of the Church, asking him if he was prepared to take a mission abroad. But to fully understand his situation, other incidents of his past life must be understood. Herbert Melbourne had a good position with the railway company. He made good money, and was enabled to live well, and keep his mother comfortably, which he did. He also saved money, but. unfortunately, he speculated in mining stocks and lost heavily. He never mentioned this matter to his mother, but kept it to himself. This misfortune, if it can be so called, may have had some effect in causing him to give some attention to his spiritual welfare. It often happens that people turn to the Lord when ad-

HERBERT MELBOURNE. 273 versity strikes them, that is, if it strikes hard enough to turn them. Herbert worked hard and saved continually to make up for his financial loss, and now that he was out of debt, and was again fairly on the road to prosperity, and had just recently received a promotion, which meant a still larger salary, came this call to go upon a mission. This call from the Church presidency was what troubled him. Which should he do, respond to the call, or accept the new position offered? His letter was in the form of an inquiry as to whether he was in a condition to go abroad as a missionary. No time was set for his departure. He could answer that he was not ready to eo yet, and have the time for starting deferred for a year, perhaps. This would give him opportunity to better his condition financially. But he was financially able to go at present, and would it be honorable and wise to wait another year, or any great length of time? What assurance had he that he would be better prepared in a year to come? Temptation might come, and he might again yield to the desire to speculate with his means. (Or should the term "invest" be used here? People always try to make themselves believe that they are making a safe and profitable investment when thev use their savings to purchase stocks, but very often such transactions turn out to be the wildest of speculations). These and many other questions he discussed in his mind; but he could not help feeling that the call meant for him to respond at once, or as soon as possible. He had cultivated the habit of being prompt and thorough in his business methods, and he believed in applying the same principles in all his transactions. So he was arguing against his own principles and practices when he tried to believe it would be all right to postpone his mission. When he arrived home that evening he told his mother all about the matters that were weighing upon his mind. He told of his financial circumstances, of his prospects of promotion, and of his call to go upon a mission. "I am able to go and pay my own way all right," he remarked; "but I do not know just how you will get along in my absence." If his mother had any objections to his fulfiling the call at once, they would of course help to strengthen his poor, weak

274 IMPR 0 VEMENT ERA . reasons for waiting till some other time. He felt it his first duty to care for his dear, aged mother, and half believed he would be justified in remaining to provide for her. Had he reflected further, he might have allayed all fears of her being neglected: for did he not have brothers and sisters, amply able to take care of their mother? Perhaps he overlooked this fact, for the time being, because he had taken upon himself to provide for his mother, as he was the only one of the children living at the parental home, unmarried. His mother had no desire that the caring for her should stand in the way of his performing his duty; still, she did not want to advise him strongly as to which course he should take. She had always given him good counsel, and now wanted him to decide for himself, feeling that he would choose the right course. So she answered his query by merely saying, "My dear son, you need not trouble about me. I will be well cared for whatever you do. But choose for yourself. " "But I want you to help me decide," Herbert insisted. "Think the matter over for a day or two," said his mother, "and then you will be prepared to give your answer. You know you are of age now, Herbert, and you can choose for yourself. I am pleased that you have confided in me, and you may be assured that I shall do everything I can to assist you, whatever you do, as long as you do right.'' "Yes, mother, I am assured of that," added Herbert. "I suppose there is no truth in the gossip of the neighborhood about you and Alice?" inquired Mrs. Melbourne. "Well, I do not know. You will have to tell me what it is; I haven't heard the latest gossip," said Herbert, trying to appear as unconcerned as possible. His mother, however, was a little concerned, and when he appeared so silent and glum at the supper table, she feared the cause of it was some misunderstanding with Alice. Like good mothers are, she was over-anxious about all her "baby" son's affairs. She told him what she had heard — from those who always know more about their neighbors' affairs than do the neighbors themselves.

HERBERT MELBOURNE. 275 Herbert only laughed at the absurdity of the stories, and remarked, "That's all they know about our affairs!" Herbert Melbourne and Alice Williams were engaged to be married; but no date had been set for the consummation of that important event of their young lives; nor was the engagement publicly announced. Both parties were wise enough to keep their own counsel. They considered such a matter their own affair, and displayed their good sense by withholding the fact from the public — not that they were ashamed of it, but that it was too premature to make public. Their silence about the engagement naturally aroused the curiosity of the gossip-venders, and in absence of genuine information they manufactured news — like some newspaper reporters, when they fail to get the facts, they publish the rumors, and if there are no rumors, they imagine some, and build startling stories upon their imaginations. Herbert's attachment for Alice grew out of his attendance at the meetings of the Mutual Improvement Association in the ward in which they both resided. The two had been slightly acquainted before they met in the association, but it was during the period of Herbert's connection with the association that his love was awakened; and it was not long after the first awakening of this passion when he discovered that Alice was not unwilling to reciprocate. She believed him to be a man of honor and purity and felt that if he ever became interested in religion he would become a staunch advocate of the truth. It was now over a year since Herbert became a regular member of the Y. M. M. I. A. It had heen observed that he was becoming interested in spiritual affairs; that he had cast from him his habit of smoking, and that he was also a tithepayer. Herbert never did oppose the doctrine of tithing. True, he neglected to pay tithing for some years, but this was because he did not regard himself as a Church member. He was not converted to other principles, and was not religiously inclined. Still he believed it was proper for Church members to support their Church financially as well as morally. He could never see any consistency in a man who expected, to get the benefits derived from membership in an organization, and'refuse to "pay his dues," as he expressed it. He had no patience*with people who [are always striving to get

276 IMPROVEMENT bit A. something for nothing. His education had taught him that in nature there was a law of recompense that man could get only that which he earned. The farmer cannot expect to reap a harvest unless he sow the seed and cultivate the ground; the student cannot get information from his text books only in proportion to his diligence in studying them; and so, too, the Church member can only be truly benefitted by such membership according to his faithfulness in observing the requirements of his religion. Besides this, he saw the beauty, equality, and justice of the law of tithing. The poor man whose tithing was small was on an equality with the rich man whose tithing reached into the thousands of dollars annually. Then the practice of paying tithing is highly valuable for the discipline it gives in conducting the financial affairs of the family, affording as it does, a valuable training in frugality. It requires attention and care in the handling of the family income, to pay one-tenth as a voluntary contribution, but the benefit secured more than repays for the outlay. Young as he was, Herbert had noted this fact in his observations among his neighbors and acquaintances. He also realized to some extent the power for good that might be exerted by the Church, were every member loyal in sustaining it with his means as well as his faith. The second day after Herbert received his missionary call, the fact became known among his fellow employes at the railway office. His friends were uncertain as to whether he had accepted the call; in truth, he had not decided in his own mind, and had made no statement concerning the matter. During the day several of his friends "jollied" him about it, and asked if he were going to turn preacher. He made evasive answers to all their questions, and heard all kinds of comments. He chanced to overhear one man remark that he (Herbert) would be a fool if he should respond to the call. But knowing the character of the one from whom the expression came, Herbert was not to be influenced by anything that man might suggest, unless it was to act in direct opposition to what he advised. It was, no doubt, the slurring remarks of such persons as the one referred to that aroused his indignation and contempt for such advisers, and hastened his decision to accept the call to fill a

HERBERT MELBOURNE. ' 277 mission. He cared not for gratutious advise from those who had no sympathy with him, and he was anxious to ignore it if possible. That evening he mailed his answer to the presidency's inquiry, stating that he was prepared to take a mission at once. He would be ready to start at any time that might be named. Afterwards he called upon Miss Williams, to tell her what he had done. The thought occurred to him, while on the way, that he would first tell her only of his call, that he might get her opinion as to what he should do under the circumstances. Then he questioned in his mind if he had done right in giving his answer without informing her about it; but he was at once satisfied that he had taken the right step, and was morally certain that she would have encouraged him to do as he had done. To satisfy his curiosity be would make a test. After being comfortably seated in the parlor of the Williams home, and being alone with the young lady he said, "Alice, have you heard the news?" "What news?" inquired Alice. "The news concerning myself — and yourself, perhaps." "I have heard that you are about to receive a promotion from the company for which you work; is that the news you refer to?" "Not exactly that. I am called to go away.'' "Then your new position takes you to another town, does it? Where to — Denver?" "No; you do not understand. I have been called upon a mission. What do you think of that? How would you suggest that I answer such a call?" Instead of answering directly, Alice upon the momentary impulse, concluded also to make a trial of his feelings respecting the matter, so she replied by saying, "Surely you are not going now, are you?" "Well, why not?" "I understand you are to receive a better position with the railway company. You would not go and refuse such an offer, would you?" "Then what do you think I should do?"

278 IMPROVEMENT ERA. "And would you leave your aged mother, whom you may not see again in this life — and your young sweetheart, too, whom you may never meet again only as some one else's wife? Cannot the mission be postponed for a few years? "I would like your opinion about the matter. What would you suggest?'' "Why, can't you decide for yourself? Is it not plain to you what you ought to do?" "No; I would like your advice." "And will you do as I advise?" "I will not promise. I will take it under consideration." "Then you mean to go, even if I advise you to the contrary?" "I have not so stated." "But you would not take a woman's advice, anyway!" "That depends on whether — " "Whether it suits you, of course!" "No; whether it is the right thing to do." Having thought of no more possible objections to his taking a mission, Alice at last said: "Herbert Melbourne, if you desire any suggestion from me, I will say, by all means tell the presidency that you will accept the call, and will go upon the mission at once. I was arguing in favor of your staying at home just to see if you had the courage of your convictions.'' "Then you want to get rid of me, do you?" asked Herbert in an attempt to tease. "Not that — do not misunderstand me. I consider it a privilege as well as a duty for a young man to respond to such a call." "You mean it, do you?" "Yes; I am in earnest." "Noble girl, you are! I have already answered that I am prepared to go. I resolved that it was my duty — and perhaps the opportunity of my life; and I knew if you were the sensible girl I believed you to be, you would not try to dissuade me from obeying the call."

HERBERT MELBOURNE. 279 "You did right. Besides, it would not be my right, even if I had the desire, to influence you to do otherwise." "You are a courageous girl. And now that I expect to be gone for several years, I think it but fair that I should release you from the engagement to marry me. I would be selfish to insist that you wait for my return, for you may, in the meantime, receive better offers than I can hope to make." "I am perfectly willing to wait, Herbert; or I am willing to release you. You are going into the world, and may meet many other women you would prefer above me, and you should be free to make your choice." "Not so, my dear. Alice, if you are willing to remain constant through the years of my absence, I shall be true to you, and your constancy and love will be an inspiration to me to put forth my greatest efforts to fulfil my duty, as Heaven gives me light to see it. With assurance of your continued love I shall not fear to face even death itself!" and rising to his feet, and also to the climax of his protest, he added, "I herewith renew my solemn promise to be true to you, until we shall meet again!" Then he stooped and sealed the promise with a kiss. That was a remarkably dramatic speech for Herbert, who was never very demonstrative in his actions. He was usually inclined to be reticent, in tjje presence of ladies, though exceedingly considerate and polite. [to be continued. ] Salt Lake City, Utah.