In Lighter Mood

IN LIGHTER MOOD. A southern negro was brought into the court-room accused of stealing a neighbor's chickens. "Mister George Washington Shinetop, did you steal those chickens?" asked the Judge pointedly. "No, sah, jedge; Ah is to 'spectable fo' dat." ' 'But it is stated on good authority that a bundle of feathers was found in your back yard the day before Christmas." ' 'That 'sinneration, jedge, des proves mah innocence, co'z' how could de fedders be found in mah back yard de day befo' Chris'mus, when mah wife didn't pluck dose chickens until de day after Chri.'mus?" What Harper's Weekly pronounces the meanest man in the world is described in the following story: A Southerner went into the store of one of his neighbors, and asked him if he didn't want to trade. "Whatchergot?" asked the storekeeper. The man ran his hand down into his coat pocket and pulled out an egg. "This," said he. "One aig!" said the storekeeper. "And what you want for that?" "Waall, " drawled the man, "you can gimme a couple knittin'-needles for it, can't ye?" "Ef that's all," said the storekeeper, "I reckon I kin." The man received the knitting-needles, and looking up at the storekeeper, he said: "Aren't you goin' to treat?" (The custom South demands a treat when- ever a swap of any kind is made. "Well," said the storekeeper, "what you want?" "Oh! I'm not perticilar," said tin man. "Gi' me a drink o' sherry." So the storekeeper handed out a bottle of sherry and a glass. "Help yourself." The man thought a moment, and then said, solemnly: "I never drink sherry ' without breakin' an aig in it. "Well, upon mah soul," thought the storekeeper. But he handed him the egg he had just received and said: "Here's yoh aig; you kin have it." The man broke t'ae egg into the glass of sherry, and in doing so discovered that the egg had two yolks. He drained the glass, smacked his lips, and pro. nounced it a fine drink, and then said to the storekeeper: "You know you ought to give me two more knittin'-needles, don't you?" "Why? ' asked the storekeeper, perplexed. "Because," said the man, "that aig o' mine had two yolks!"