In Lighter Mood

IN LIGHTER MOOD. "Mister," said the small boy to the chemist, "give me another box of them pills you sold father the day before yesterday." "Are they doing him good?" asked the chemist, looking pleased. "I d'no whether they're doin' father any good or not, but they're doin' me good. They just fit my new air-gun." * * * Clara (after a tiff): "I presume you would like your ring back?" George: "Never mind; keep it. No other girl I know could use that ring unless she wore it on her thumb." * * * She: "Most people admire my mouth. Do you?" He (absent mindedly): "I think it is simply immense!" * * * A man who makes a thousand dollars is happy; so is a dog that has found a bone. * * * The opportunity to make fools of ourselves usually comes to us more than once — and always finds us at home. * * * "Punctuality, my children," said the old man, "is the thief of time. I have been a victim to the pernicious vice of punctuality all my life. I must have wasted years by being up to time and having to wait for people." Meeting Trouble.— A countrywoman set her daughter, a girl of fifteen, to bake, while she went to a neighbor's. When she returned, she found the oven sparkling hot, and her daughter in another apartment, in the greatest agony and tears. A sight so unexpected excited the tenderest sympathy in the maternal bosom, and solicitude for the cause. After much entreaty, the daughter spoke. "I was thinking, if I was married and should have a dear child, and if it should live to run about, and I should be baking, as I am now, and I should go out for fuel, and should leave it alone, and it should take a chair and should get up to the mouth of the oven, and should crawl in and should burn itself to death, what a terrible thing it would be! Oh, oh, oh, dear what should I do?'