In Lighter Mood

LIGHTER MOOD.

No wonder a fly can see so well. Look at his specs. * * *

Little Mary was discovered one day by her mother vigorously apply- ing the oil can to the kitten's mouth.On being reproved she replied "Why, mama, kitty squeaks so awfully when I pull her tail." * * *

''That man just going out has a very interesting history," said Gibbs. "Indeed," said Jenkins, looking backward; "would you mind telling me what it is?" "Macaulay's 'History of England,' " replied Gibbs, as he departed hastily. "He's just bought it." * * *

"I have read with much amusement," says a friend, "the accounts of various queer occurrences in some of our churches, and I want to tell you of an amusing thing I saw happen some few years ago in one of the largest churches here. The minister was preaching a sermon which drew forth the deep sympathy of his hearers and caused the tears to well up in his own eyes. He reached for his handkerchief and shook it out preparatory to wiping away the affecting tears, when a long, white, woman's hose took the form of the supposed handkerchief Imagine the !

mirth of the congregation and the horror of the dignified speaker, whose handkerchief got mixed with his wife's stockings." * * *

The men engaged in leasing oil lands have some funny experiences. The other day one of these hustlers was taking dinner with an old granger near Bakerstown. The farmer owned a valuable tract of land, and the oil man was very anxious to secure it. He understood the owner was very pious, and the Pittsburger guarded his conversation to give no offense. When the meal was announced they sat around the table, and the farmer delivered his usual lengthy prayer of thanks. A large Newfound- land dog perched himself between the old man's knees, and evidently annoyed him while he was saying grace by licking his hands. The oil man, who was impressed with the farmer's piety, almost fell off his chair when the granger, having finished grace, turned to his son and

874 IMPROVEMENT ERA.

said, with some anger: "John, if you don't tie up that dog I will kill it." * * * James Russell Lowell used to tell the story that one of the gentle- men he met in Chicago had a great deal to say of his travels in Europe. Lowell remarked that he greatly enjoyed the French literature and that George Sand was one of his favorite authors. This reference to the great Frenchwoman called forth a characteristic rejoinder. "Oh, yes!" exclaimed the representative of Chicago culture, "I have had many a happy hour with Sand." "You knew George Sand, then?" asked Lowell, with an expression of surprise. "Knew him? Well, I should rather say I did," cried the Chicago man, and then he added as a clincher: "I roomed with him in Paris." * * * Too often it is the case that business men do not realize at the time how quickly the interest eats up the principal. The following anecdote of Peter Cooper, the great philanthropist, very forcefully illustrates the point. Once, while Peter Cooper was talking about a project with an acquaintance, the latter said he would have to borrow money for six months, paying interest at the rate of three per cent a month. "Why do you borrow for so short a time?" Mr. Cooper asked. "Because the brokers will not negotiate bills for longer." "Well, if you wish," said Mr. Cooper, "I will discount your note at that rate for three years." "Are you in earnest?" asked the would be borrower. "Certainly I am. I will discount your note for $10,000 for three years at that rate. Will you do it?" "Of course I will," said the merchant. "Very well," said Mr. Cooper. "Just sign this note for $10,000, payable in three years, and give me your check for $800, and the trans- action will be complete." "But where is the money for me?" asked the astonished merchant. "You don't get any money," was the reply. "Your interest for thirty-six months at three per cent a month amounts to 108 per cent, or $10,800. Therefore your check for $800 just makes us even." The force of this practical illustration of the folly of paying such an exorbitant price for the use of money was such that the merchant determined never to borrow at such ruinous rates, and he frequently used to say that nothing could have so fully convinced him as this rather humorous proposal of Mr. Cooper. Business.