--- title: Improvement Era description: Monthly periodical of the Mormon church, 1897 onward. This library holds the issues of November 1897 to December 1930. authors: - Fletcher, Linda S. collections: - periodicals tags: - magazine - improvement-era periodical: Improvement Era volume: 32 number: 5 published: 1929-03 publisher: Young Men’s Mutual Improvement Associations publisher_place: Salt Lake City language: en type: magazine reference: "Linda S. Fletcher, “The Uses of Courtship,” *Improvement Era* 32, no. 5 (March 1929): 401–410." source: url: https://archive.org/details/improvementera3205unse transcription: Transcribed from the Internet Archive scan of each issue (the item for each issue is named in the issue's own source); unnumbered advertising leaves are omitted, printed page numbers are kept as page markers. identifier: improvementera3205unse start_page: 401 end_page: 410 rights: status: public-domain basis: US publication 1930 or earlier (published 1929-03) source: https://archive.org/details/improvementera3205unse publication_year: 1929 note: The Internet Archive item metadata carries a blanket "© Copyright by Intellectual Reserve, Inc." notice. The library owner judged it inapplicable because this issue was published in 1929, before 1931; a scan-level notice does not restore copyright. --- # The Uses of Courtship The Uses of Courtship By JLinda S. Fletcher Introspection and reflection! Alicia Warner felt that her thoughts had been going round in circles, without arriv- ing anywhere, long enough. No doubt the best thing she could do would be to accept Betty's invitation to spend a week or two at the dry-farm. Allan's letter frankly revealed how eager he was to have her come out there; and, perhaps, seeing him again and getting Betty's views on this mar- riage question would enable her to decide just what she wanted to do. Of course there was her promise to Allan Ware. For several years, there had been a tacit understanding be- tween them that she would marry him when she had finished college; but — was she capable of becoming the wife who could make a success of marriage under the circumstances involved? Now that she was graduated and back home, confronted with the necessity of setting a definite date for the wedding (and Allan's letter made it plain it could not take place too soon to suit him) , she wondered. Some of her ac- quaintances were failing dismally in the marital relation; and it seemed obvious that life on a dry-farm would be especially trying. For that was her destiny if she married Allan. He was aglow, heart and soul, with interest in scientific farming; especially, now that, having finished the course at the agricultural college, he had been living on his dry- farm for a year. He and John Akers. Betty's husband, had been working their land together, pooling their re- sources, with the result that they both had unusually fine crops and would, as Allan wrote enthusiastically, "make a stake this year" if no unlooked-for bad luck intervened. Alicia was ihappy about this good news, especially for Betty's sake, as she knew that John had had some dis- heartening failures, due to drought, grasshoppers, and other troubles. Knowing that they could expect oc- casional good crops, however, did little to lighten Alicia's fears concerning how she would meet the trials and difficulties of the lean years which she knew would come only too often. What had the years of struggle done to the dainty, care-free Betty with whom she had grown up and who had been her most intimate friend during their high school days together? Alicia had seen but little of her former chum for several years, as Betty had decided to marry John, instead of going to college, and go with him to his farm. Was the girl she had known sorry that she had chosen such a hard life? That was what Alicia wondered about herself: Would she be sorry she had chosen to set her feet in a path so evidently bestrewn with thorns? She knew that Allan had borrowed money for his college course and that he would have to buy ex- pensive machinery for his farm; so, even with an excellent start this year, and the best of breaks for several seasons to come, it would be some time before they could expect to have things at all easy. Did she love Allan suffi- ciently— was she woman enough — to conquer, gloriously, the obstacles that threatened, or would she go down be- fore them? Wouldn't it be better for her to avoid risking defeat, by taking one of the several positions open to her as a college graduate and waiting a few years until Allan's financial posi- tion was more secure before she married him? But Alicia shrank from such a de- cision, for she did not wish Allan to think of her as a coward. He had al- 402 IMPROVEMENT ERA Mar., 1929 ways been wont to predict what a fine pal she would be. But what if she should fail to live up to his ideal of her? What if marriage to him should prove an unbearable burden? As for divorce — well, she couldn't endure a quitter. "If I marry, I stay married and do my best to make a success of it," had always been her declaration when girl friends had suggested flippantly that "there is always divorce" should mar- riage turn out badly. But if she were to marry and then feel even a secret desire to escape her vows, she would consider that her failure was just as real as if she had secured a divorce. "I'll go to Betty's," she decided. "She surely cared for John, and if her love has endured through all the strug- gles they have had, I'm sure that I can meet the test." Her mind thus .made up, she lifted Allan's picture from where she had laid it, face downward, on her dress- ing table and looked into his kindly, eloquent, dark eyes. "Do you know," she whispered softly, "when I am looking at you, I forget all about practical considera- tions and just remember that I love you. But will I always do that?" The drive to the dry- farms over the bleak, dusty roads of southeastern Idaho did nothing to arouse enthu- siasm in Alicia. Even the far-stretch- ing acres of gold which undulated around her on every side, as she neared her journey's end, made her eyes ache with its glittering brightness in the hot July sunshine. It seemed to blend with the fine dust that settled upon her as she rode along. At last the car drew up before a tiny cottage, and "Yellow, too!" she exclaimed inwardly as it gleamed out at her so stark and new in its fresh coat of paint. Of course the color was all right; but out here among the grain and the dust, accentuated by the blazing sunshine, it gave one the feel- ing of brightness overdone, striving pitifully to hide distress. And Betty's smile, as she came to the door, had much the same quality, though it failed to mask completely that she felt, though no doubt only semi-consciously, both confusion and defiance. She was expecting another baby, which Alicia knew would make the third in a little more than four years. No doubt Betty's manner was defensive armor against any pitying criticism that her former chum might express; but, though she did feel pity, Alicia hid her commiseration success- fully under a casual air, and Betty was soon enabled to regain something of her natural poise. "Come right in here, Allie," she in- vited leading the way into the one bed-room where a double bed and a cot for the children offered repose for the family. "John is going to sleep with Allan over at his shack while you are here. Allan takes his meals with us, and you'll just have time to get all fixed up before he and John come in for supper. I'll bring you some water." As Betty withdrew, Alicia thought- fully laid out a change of clothing, pondering the while how she must pro- ceed if she was to renew the confiden- tial relationship that had existed be- tween them a few short years ago. First, her dress. It was all important that it be no finer than the one Betty had on. She replaced the green silk crepe she had chosen with a simple frock, a pink linen, and then turned to open the door, in response to Betty's rap. There her friend stood, slightly stooping under the weight of two pails of water. "Don't you dare wait on me like this," scolded Alicia as she took the water from her. "I didn't come out here to make you more work." Betty wavered on the verge of mak- ing a frank admission and then out it came: "I'm surely glad to have you here, Allie, but I'm so afraid you'll find things awfully inconvenient. You're Mar., 1929 USES OF COURTSHIP 403 used to much nicer places, of course." Alicia faced her squarely. "Now, Betty, you know my home is no better than the one you knew as a girl, and surely I can make myself comfortable under the conditions here. If I can't, I'm no fit wife for Allan for our home will be no better than this, if as nice." "Well, I didn't exactly mean that," Betty answered, and the last vestige of defiance disappeared, "but I haven't seen you for so long, and it does seem that things are rather primitive. But you just .make yourself at home and forget everything except that we are glad to have you here and that you'll soon be with Allan. Hurry along now and I'll finish setting the table. There's the tub," and she pointed to a tin one in the corner. After she had bathed and dressed, Alicia brushed the deep waves of her blonde bobbed locks closer to her small head and thought of Betty, as she sur- veyed the effect of her arrangement in the mirror of the shabby dresser, — Betty, whose once delectably dressed hair now looked so lifeless and stringy. "She has so much to do," excused Alicia. "I must get her to let me give her a wave. My knowledge of beauty culture will come in handy when I am marooned out here." The thought startled her. "Marooned?" She mustn't look at it that way. Betty had set the table in the living room and was hurrying around in the hot kitchen when Alicia came out. The latter remembered that she had seen nothing of the children. "Where do you keep the kiddies?" she asked. "The boys took them out to the field with them this afternoon," Betty told her. "They like to be with their father and Allan and it's a help to me to have them amused when I'm busy." She spoke breathlessly, working the potato masher at the same time. Alicia went over and took the tool from her. "Sit down now and rest a minute while I make myself useful. You must let me show Allan that I'm not entirely useless." "There they come," Betty said, as a "hello" sounded from the fields, and she went to the door. Alicia followed her and could make out the dusty, khaki-clad figures of the two men approaching through the grain, each carrying a tiny, sun-hatted figure astride his neck. "Dorothy is just as happy with Allan as with John," smiled Betty as they watched, "but the baby always chooses her daddy. Well, Allan is more anxious than usual," she added, as his tall, slender figure came on, ap- proaching the house with long, eager strides. "You'd better hurry," Betty teased as he drew nearer, and Alicia felt a wave of pure joy engulf her as she raised her hand in answer to his waved greeting. Betty made way for him, laughing- ly, as he came avidly on, sliding Dorothy to the ground and enfolding Alicia in what she breathlessly declared to be a "bear hug." "Why, Allan," she laughed some- what protestingly, "you're scratching me all up." Allan ruefully passed his hand over his stubbly, sweat-grimed face. "I'm surely in the , 'brush,' ' he laughed, "but you'll have to get used to that, honey. Farmers don't have time to shave every day. John doesn't," — as Betty's husband took her hand in a tight grip and grinned at her from a mass of dark stubble — "and Betty doesn't scold." "Which is not saying that she shouldn't, perhaps," retorted Betty, holding out the baby she had taken from her husband's arms toward Alicia without a word but with a proud look in her eyes that seemed to ask Alicia if the child were not vindication enough for the frequent appearance of babies in that home. "What a little darling," Alicia praised sincerely, for Ruthie, with her 404 IMPROVEMENT ERA Mar., 19Z9 tangle of curls and smiling, cherub face, certainly merited the appellation. "And I like Dorothy, too," she went on, as the other little girl came toward her with frank friendliness. "Doro is my little girl, so of course you must like her," explained Allan. "And she's a dandy!" "Are you Mr. Allan's girl, too?" questioned the child gravely, as Alicia held her hand. "You bet," Allan affirmed, as Alicia smiled. "And she's going to come out her and live with me in my shanty right away. Won't that be fine!" And looking at him, Alicia won- dered how she could ever have doubted that it would be fine to do just that. After supper was over and Allan had gotten "out of the brush," as he expressed it, Alicia and he walked out through the grain, the glitter of which was now dimmed to a faint, cheery glow in the moonlight. Allan was enthusiastic about the crops. "It means we will have to wait only until you say the word, Allie," he told her. "I can clear up all my debts and buy the machinery I need with the proceeds from this. That will give us a good start for next summer, and then another year we can build a real house." And they chatted on, he doing most of the talking, and optimistic indeed were his predictions. Alicia could not help wondering to herself why he seemed to have no expectation of fail- ure when failures always seemed to out- number the successful crops in this dry-farm country. As they turned back, Allan glanced at his watch in the moonlight. "Well, it's nearly ten ;o'clock," he told her. "We get up at five out here, so we'll have to be getting some sleep." Alicia felt a twinge of resentment that he should be so practical as to think of the time when with her, but she forgot it when he took her in his arms to say good-night. "And to think that you'll soon be coming to be with me always!" he ex- claimed softly. "O girl of girls, when? You're not going to make me wait much longer, are you?" But Alicia only patted his hand; she didn't know why, but she felt perverse; and, with a half sigh, he again changed the subject. When Alicia went in, she found that Betty and the babies were in bed and that John had already gone to Allan's shack. Betty was awake, but their conversation was desultory, as Alicia disrobed. Betty kept tossing restlessly and told Alicia, as the latter turned back the covers on her side of the bed: "I do hope I won't keep you awake. I am very restless at night, for it seems that no matter how I lie, I can find comfort in that position for only a few minutes. I do wish it weren't so hot — and that threshing time weren't coming." She paused for a time and then burst out, a sob in her voice: "O Alicia, I think I know in my inmost soul that things are all right, but some- times I get so blue! I forget all the blessings I have and life just looks black and hopeless and nothing seems worth while! I can't complain to John for he is doing all he can, but I have passed through so much." She paused again, and then resumed in a calmer tone: "I'm sure I wouldn't be talking like this to you if I didn't know that you contemplate doing just as I have done, but I feel that you ought to have some idea about what you may have to endure before you decide definitely." She paused and Alicia encouraged gravely: "I hope you will tell me all, for if I am going to marry, I want to feel sure that I shall be able to face and bear everything I must. It has worried me, Betty. I love Allan and when I am with him, I am certain that everything will be all right. When I am alone. I — wonder — " Betty went on: "When I married John, I had no idea what this kind of life would be like. It has been very War., 1929 USES OF COURTSHIP 405 hard, cut off, as I have been, from all my friends, with the days just one long task and me ill so much, too, with the children coming so fast. Then we have hoped in vain so often that hope seems isomehow crushed. Even with a good crop so nearly ready to harvest now, I keep worrying for fear some- thing will happen, as it has happened so often before just when we thought all was safe." She paused again, thoughtfully, and then burst out: "I'm sure I should be more resigned to things, now, however, if I hadn't had a letter from mother yesterday suggesting that I come and spend the remainder of the time before I go to the hospital with her. But you know mother works in the library, so I couldn't take the children, and thresh- ing time is near. Oh, it's just im- possible, of course. It would cost more than we can afford to hire anyone to come here and stay, even if I knew of anyone I could get with whom I would trust the children. But when I think of my old adorable room at home — of the coolness, the quietness — well, I'm just not myself, that's all. I feel like a condemned soul in hades with heaven in sight but beyond his grasp. I haven't told John about what mother wrote, for he would just grieve because there is no chance for me to go to her." A sob escaped her. "I know I could be braver, if I were wholly myself. I hope you won't think I am too much of a complainer. I know, after all, that things will be brighter — some day. But I just had to tell someone." Alicia found no words to express her sympathy, but she pressed Betty's hand with emotion; and, for a long time after her friend's nervous turning had ceased she lay awake, thinking. Her problem now seemed more difficult of solution than ever; for, after making all allowances for Betty's over- wrought condition, the life she had pictured would call for no small amount of courage. Alicia wished that there were some test whereby she might determine her fitness to cope with such obstacles. And then suddenly there came to her a solution, so clear-cut, so well adapted to her purpose, that it seemed as if some particular providence had engaged itself in her behalf at this important moment in her life. She fell asleep, resolved to execute the plan so opportunely presented. The next morning when the men had gone to their plowing and she and Betty were washing up the breakfast dishes, the latter's tremulous: "I hope you won't think me too much of a weakling, after last night," gave her a chance to tell Betty about it. "On the contrary," she began, "I think that you are much more of a heroine than anyone realizes. I must know if I can do as well before I make up my mind to marry, and I want you to help me by going to your mother's, as she wishes, and leaving me in charge here; I know (you won't worry, if I am with the children. The change and rest will help you regain your poise, and I shall have just the op- portunity I need for testing myself. Say you won't refuse to help me." Betty had been watching her with eyes that got rounder and rounder as the plan was unfolded. "But it wouldn't be fair to you!" Betty now burst out, but her eyes held a wistful longing, as she thought of what it would mean to her to escape for just a little while to the repose of her girlhood home. "You must help me, Betty," Alicia insisted with such earnest seriousness that Betty finally consented to the plan. John was overjoyed at the chance for Betty to have a rest and a change; Allan was happy but somewhat mysti- fied about the plan, while Betty, after Alicia had overcome her scruples at leaving so much of her work to an- other, was in an ecstasy of delight. A few days of hectic preparation and Betty was off, leaving Alicia, "Queen of the Realm," as Allan ex- 406 IMPROVEMENT ERA Mar., 1929 pressed it. John, recovering some of his old-time jovialness, called her the "Genie, giver of wishes." Alicia brought to her task a deter- mination to make a success of it, or, if she failed, freely to acknowledge that she was not big enough for such a job. And she soon found that it did de- mand courage to meet the endless de- mands of each day. Some of her work became distressingly hard, after the first few days of novelty wore off. She wore blisters on her soft, well-kept hands, handling the ax and the wind- lass at the well and lugging in count- less buckets of water. Perhaps the men thought they kept her supplied, but the wood and water they brought in before going to their work in the fields, where they were busy clearing and plowing more land, always proved inadequate. Alicia felt a resent- ful feeling developing within her, a feeling that they didn't care. Wash- days were especially hard on her good nature. Betty's washing machine was of an antiquated type and the men's clothing was so smelly and sweat-be- grimed! The unpainted pine floors of the little house required constant scrub- bing to keep them fresh and white, and that task proved especially trying also to the girl's unaccustomed muscles. Her carefully waved hair became as stringy as Betty's over the endless suds and mop-pails, her white hands be- came red and rough, while her nails took on a broken and ill-kempt ap- pearance that irked her sorely. But most of all, she found the dusty, unshaved faces of the two tired men, hard to endure with equanimity, espe- cially when she knew that she didn't look her best and was, like them, too tired to exert herself more in order to keep entirely well-groomed. Neverthe- less, she couldn't help excusing herself, even when she was most critical to- ward them. She put Allan off when he tried to kiss her, saying that she didn't need any more scratches; but he always per- sisted, declaring that if she was a farm- er's wife, she must take all the trim- mings. These forced caresses always annoyed Alicia, and she asked herself if things of this kind wouldn't do much to rub the bloom of charm from companionship. She was forced to admit that she thought they would. But in spite (of vexations, evening always brought a small measure of elation to Alicia when she could honestly say to herself that she had successfully coped with the problems of the day; and she labored to gain this satisfaction, finding that it was sweeter than any she had before ex- perienced. And thus the days, with their meas- ure of discontent and compensation, their varied array of petty and trying tasks provocative of changing moods, passed quickly, as full days always do, and threshing time was at hand. John had planned to spend a few days in town, hiring the harvest hands, who would soon begin to drift into that part of the country, when an urgent message from Betty's mother summoned him prematurely to his wife's bedside. "I'll get back as soon as I can," he told Allan anxiously as he made preparations for a hasty departure. "I surely hate to leave everything to you when you haven't had much expe- rience with our haryesting problems. Of course that new harvester and thresher will simplify things. Pete Jackson will be along tomorrow after- noon. He's going to bring back our supplies and the hands we hire, in his truck." "Now just remember that Alicia and I are on the job, and don't worry about things here at home," Allan told him. "We're going to see that every- thing comes out all right, you bet!" His confident reassurance cheered John, who soon afterward started on his journey to Betty's side without the added burden of worrying over things at home. That evening, Allan lingered on Mar.. 1929 USES OF COURTSHIP 407 after supper, wiping the dishes and watching Alicia tenderly as she got the children ready for bed. The girl felt very self-conscious under that ad- miring gaze, for she knew that her hair was not looking particularly good nor was her frock entirely unsoiled. It did seem as if she would never become ac- customed to keeping spotless while do- ing housework. She was still embarrassed when she finally took both children into her arms for their bed-time story, but Allan's lingering glances only became more appreciative. "That's a pretty fine Madonna group," he praised ardently. "I al- ways wish I were a painter when I see anything beautiful. But then, I am an artist, in a way. I engrave such scenes in my memory." Alicia flushed at the praise. "But, Allan, I look anything but beautiful with my hair all disheveled like this," she remonstrated. "Don't you think, rather, that I look a 'sight' of the other kind?" "You always look lovely to me," Allan responded, softly. Alicia's flush deepened as she thought rather guiltily how often of late she had looked at him and, instead of seeing the nobility expressed by his broad, white forehead, from which the auburn hair waved thickly back, or the intelligence and strength indicated by his finely cut mouth and chin, had been repelled by the grime of toil on his clothes and the reddish stubble on his moist, tanned face. Now, however, she realized that a love like Allan's could transcend the seeming unloveliness of outward ap- pearances, and she felt a little glow of happiness in the knowledge that his affection would never fail her. She resolved that she would carry this glow over into the next day, most of which they would have together, and which would so truly give them a foretaste of many of the conditions of married life. She would rise early and take time to marcel her hair before breakfast, she planned, wear her most attractive frock, and do everything in her pow- er to keep "their day" as ideal as pos- sible. Along about three o'clock, however, Ruthie woke her, calling for a drink. Alicia had a hard time getting back to sleep at that hour and, consequently, overslept. After dressing hurriedly that she might have Allan's breakfast ready at the usual time, Alicia went into the kitchen to find that he had neglected to bring in kindlings and wood the night before. Try as she would, she could not help, feeling resentful that she must do this extra task, which was really hard for her, and this was only augmented by the fact that she must also draw and carry in water. The inauspicious beginning seemed to carry on all through the day. Alicia, proudly determined not to remind Allan to do the chores that were cruelly difficult for her, if he did not think enough of her to do them without being asked, had plenty of chances to nurse her grievances. Not only did Allan leave her all of the water to carry and the wood to cut (and this was wash-day) , but he also came in late for lunch; and this after Alicia, deciding that she must not blame him for forgetting to do chores that John had always done after a fashion, had shown her forebearance by preparing a somewhat elaborate re- past. As she saw the dainty food she had cooked so carefully become un- palatable as the time dragged on, how- ever, Alicia became more and more an- noyed until, when Allan came in at last, she was coldly brusque. He cheerfully ignored her stony glances and brief replies to his con- versational attempts and drew up a chair to the table, eagerly. "This is just a foretaste of the happy days to come," he told her, as he ate with relish, his eyes following 408 IMPROVEMENT ERA Mar.. I9t4 her as she moved about. Then he be- came wistfully serious: "Allie, do you realize that you have never yet told me when you will marry me?" The girl gave way to a desire to hurt. "If this is a sample of the kind of husband you are going to be," she responded coldly, "I'm afraid that I am not anxious to marry you." Her heart smote her as she noted how white his face grew under her cruel taunt. He seemed unable to speak for a few minutes and then words came, despairingly humble: "I am a pretty poor specimen," he confessed, as he looked from water- bucket, full under the bench, to the heaped-up box of wood. "Why didn't you remind me? I just forgot. It was inexcusable when you have been so fine and capable and have had to work so hard. But I didn't mean to be so thoughtless. Can't you forgive me this once for forgetting to do my part?" "If you can forget now," she told him stonily, "I am sure that I could look forward only to a repetition of such neglect. I'm afraid I should not wish to attempt to live a life that promises so many disappointments." She turned away and went into the other room, ostensibly for the purpose of doing something for the children, who were playing there. By and by, she heard him go out; and. when she went back into the kitchen, she saw that he had left his dinner unfinished. Soon afterward, she heard the steady bite of the ax at the wood-pile, and a great mound of stove-lengths greeted her furtive peek- ing when at last the sound ceased. Very shortly afterward, Allan came up from his shack with his rifle, and she saw him working over it in the back yard. He had spoken of shooting some coyotes. As she continued to watch him, Alicia felt sorry she had spoken so harshly and been so unforgiving; but she was too proud to go to him and tell him of her regret. Then, too, she told herself, it was just as well to dis- cipline him thoroughly while she was about it. Looking out again, she saw Allan rest the rifle against the wood-pile and go into the tool-shed just beyond. He came back almost at once with a ram- rod in his hands. As he raised the rifle, she was terror stricken to see the trigger catch against a projecting knot. Her scream rang out almost simultan- eously with the report of the gun. She flew to the door just in time to see Allan fall heavily among the chips and bark. As she saw him lying there so help- less, Alicia realized, once and for all time, how unutterably dear he was to her and knew that, if he should move no more, all that made life beautiful for her was gone. With a choking sob of agony, she bent over his pros- trate form. The bullet had plowed its way through Allan's scalp, and al- ready a dark stream was matting his thick hair. In a daze of terror, she worked frantically over the loved, helpless figure, bringing linen and iodine, water and scissors, cutting away the thick locks, cleansing and binding up the wound. She then attempted to revive Allan, but her efforts to do so met with no success. She could not leave him out here in the dust and flies, she told herself; but her most determined endeavors failed to move the heavy, inert weight of his body. Still, sobbing inarticulate prayers, she struggled on, for she must try to do something. In her frantic concentration, she failed to notice that the children had come to the kitchen door and were watching her vain efforts in wide-eyed silence, a look of fear on each little face, until they began a frightened wailing. This sound calmed her a little, for it made her realize how use- lessly she was expending her strength, Mar.. 1929 USES OF COURTSHIP 409 when she ought to be considering what she could do. Almost at once she remembered what John had said about Pete Jack- son. She must watch for him and have him get help for her. She brought a pillow and some net- ting and, after covering Allan from the flies, took up her station in the front yard. Shortly Jackson came bumping along in his big truck and heard her story with many exclama- tions of sympathy and commiseration, aiding her the while to move Allan's still unconscious body into the house. "Seems like he must have got an uncommon bad shock to be knocked out like this," he remarked, looking down at Allan. "The best thing I can do is to get the doctor here right pronto. Doctor Hyde will bring him round all right, don't you worry, Miss Warner. He's a great hand in such cases." "But whatever can I do about the harvest hands? I just can't send for John unless I must, for Betty needs him so badly. And I can't leave the babies to do anything myself. You don't know of anyone I could get to supervise things here, do you, Mr. Jackson? So much depends on this harvest!" "I know, I know," agreed Peter earnestly. "You just leave it to me. I'll bring out your hands; and I be- lieve I can get Jake Morgan to come out and help you take charge. He's working in town now, but he knows farming and I believe I can get him to come out for the harvest, seeing how badly some one is needed here." "I can't tell you how grateful I am for your kindness," Alicia told him brokenly. "Sho, what's a little thing like that between neighbors," Pete replied cheer- ily. "Just you quit worrying, Miss Warner." But Doctor Hyde, when he came, did not seem so optimistic. Alicia could not help noticing that he worked over Allan with a very grave face. After completing his examination, he turned to her. "I'm going to be frank with you, Miss Warner," he told her. "That's a pretty nasty wound. I shouldn't be surprised to find a slight fracture, upon closer examination, for the bullet has plowed along very close to the skull. The best thing to do would be to rig up the back seat of the auto and take him to town where I could have him under the eye of an expert nurse and be able to watch him carefully my- self." It was an agonizing moment for Alicia. She felt that she just couldn't let the doctor take Allan away where she could not watch over him. But duty demanded that she stay and take care of the babies and the harvest. Near to breaking under the strain, she strove to keep her voice steady. "Of course you must do for him whatever you think best, but" — her voice broke, "but, O doctor, you will let me know, whenever you can how — how — he is — won't you? Do you think — he — will be — all right — ?" "I'm sure I can pull him through," Doctor Hyde made his tones heartily reassuring when he saw how it was with the girl, "and I'll see that you are kept informed about his condition just as often as possible." The following days were a night- mare of conglomerate emotions for Alicia. No time now for self-pity, even if she had not at last completely risen above that in the need of others for her. She forgot petty things as she struggled on through the long, weary days, sustained in her tasks by the comforting thoughts that SHE WAS ADEQUATE, she was strong enough to do anything for those she loved. Though the things she had to do, — now taking a hand at the harvest in the stifling, dust-laden air (for the abundant crops throughout the section had made it necessary for all of the farmers to get in their crops with scarcely sufficient help) ; now bending 410 IMPROVEMENT ERA War.. 1929 over the hot stove that the hungry hands might he well fed; then again amusing and keeping the babies happy, while all the time her heart ached with worry over Allan, whose condition showed but slight improvement; and through it all, watching, waiting, praying,- — all of these fatiguing tasks, which made her body ache for very weariness until she could scarcely sleep at night, could not quench the soul- joy she knew in the glory of the struggle! Where now was her fear of the fu- ture? Swallowed up in the sustaining knowledge that the God who gives the burdens for our testing also gives the strength to endure, if we do not side- step the trial. And as always, after the darkness, came the serene, soothing amber of the morning. Alicia never forgot the shakily writ- ten missive which came to her one day from Betty, — Betty who again had fought for, and won, the privilege of adding to her stature by welcoming a new soul into this world of oppor- tunity,— assuring her that it was worth it all. "In the face of the big realities like Life and Death," wrote Betty, "the little cares that fret one fade to their true significance." Alicia thanked God that she, too, had learned that truth, and that she now knew that her love for Allan would burn steadily on even though trials and troubles were bound to come along the way of life. And at last the time had come when one more day of struggle would com- plete the harvest. Alicia was feeling excessively jubi- lant, for a note had just arrived from the doctor, telling her that Allan would soon be strong enough to come back to her. "That letter you sent him must have turned the trick," she read, "for as soon as Ware received it, he seemed to decide that it was time for him to hurry and get well." This one more day, planned the girl, and then, the treasure of grain safely harvested, she would take the children and ride into town with Pete Jackson when he took the harvest hands back on the morrow. And now, her noon meal ready, for- getting such trifles as tousled back-hair and a somewhat mussed frock, Alicia hurried out to call the men. "Well, Miss Warner, how does that look to you?" asked big-shouldered Jake Morgan, pointing to the great pile of sacked grain. "Real bags of gold!" agreed Alicia, happily. "Everything has turned out so well, thanks to you and Pete Jack- son and Doctor Hyde, and — " "And of course no gratitude is due a certain game young lady," teased Morgan, as they walked on toward the house. "Not very much," smiled the girl, "for my recompense has been more than adequate. You see, I have learned an invaluable lesson during these past hectic days." "And that is?" questioned Morgan. "That there is joy in a struggle and nothing to fear, if one does one's best!" Alicia told him. But who was this that came for- ward to meet her as she opened the kitchen door? Someone with a pale, pale face and a somewhat unsteady gait, but a some- one whose dark eyes glowed more elo- quently than ever before held out his arms to her and Alicia went into them and was clasped close to a hungry heart. Then she turned tremulously "Men, I hope you will all plan to come to our wedding." "When?" Allan's eyes searched hers eagerly. "Well," Alicia fought to keep down the lump in her throat that threatened to keep her from speaking, "I had decided to go to town — tomorrow — "