--- title: Improvement Era description: Monthly periodical of the Mormon church, 1897 onward. This library holds the issues of November 1897 to December 1930. authors: - Warner, Ann S. collections: - periodicals tags: - magazine - improvement-era periodical: Improvement Era volume: 30 number: 7 published: 1927-05 publisher: Young Men’s Mutual Improvement Associations publisher_place: Salt Lake City language: en type: magazine reference: "Warner, Ann S., “Romance—to Order,” *Improvement Era* 30, no. 7 (May 1927): 597–605." source: url: https://archive.org/details/improvementera3007unse transcription: Transcribed from the Internet Archive scan of each issue (the item for each issue is named in the issue's own source); unnumbered advertising leaves are omitted, printed page numbers are kept as page markers. identifier: improvementera3007unse start_page: 597 end_page: 605 rights: status: public-domain basis: US publication 1930 or earlier (published 1927-05) source: https://archive.org/details/improvementera3007unse publication_year: 1927 note: The Internet Archive item metadata carries a blanket "© Copyright by Intellectual Reserve, Inc." notice. The library owner judged it inapplicable because this issue was published in 1927, before 1931; a scan-level notice does not restore copyright. --- # Romance—to Order ROMANCE— TO ORDER By Ann S. Warner When at six Letha Gardel discovered that her dollie was stuffed with sawdust, she had screamed with temper. When nearer twenty- six, and she discovered that her magical "business career" showed sim- ilar symptoms, the old outlet was no longer hers. The first un- seasonably hot spring day of the year, with its demoralizing effect on office nerves, had sapped the last of her energy in keeping the depart- ment under her from complete collapse. She had fought to keep her despondency from her father at dinner, and fled, once it was over, to the park. Even his gentle face, goodness incarnate, she had seemed to see tonight through a vision grotesque, distorted. Human weary, she felt the park lap its benign ceremonial of day's closing about her. Buds, pushing out, were yet hugged tight in dark brown cases. Earth objects were etched with uncanny definite- ness, the heavens wavering tints ready to flame to gorgeousness. All was breathlessly still, save for the imperceptibly changing hues. Like an unbecoming winter coat discarded in Spring, the frayed tension slipped from Letha. It was the hour in which intangibles become con- crete, practicalities absurd. Her eyes sought questioningly into the piled cloud masses of mauve and gold, as her slow steps carried her along the familiar path. Abruptly she halted. "Why, Bob Roth, what are you doing here?" She had almost stumbled over the long legs of a man sitting on some stone steps by the balustrade. "Don't you know that's my pri- vate seat you're occupying?" she demanded, her tone whipping back to casual trivialities, although in some indefinable glow the sunset freedom lingered in her petite person. There was always a freshness about her, in her groomed brown hair that shaped so naturally to pleasing lines, in her clothes that clung where they should, and where they should not fell away in dainty folds. For all her shorn modishness through it crept the quieter sweetness of another age. She had the fragile beauty of the clematis against the background her father had always wished for her — white-painted pillars of a sunny porch, re- mote alike from offices and two-room apartments. But the man's eyes were raised only long enough to identify her, and dully dropped again. "This seat was vacant when I came along. You can have it if you want it." He made no movement, though, to give it to her and continued sitting slouched down with a depression as complete as hers had been. Acting on an unaccountable impulse, she slipped down beside him. "What's your grouch?" she asked companionably. "You ask that, after being over in our department today? 1 thought you had sense!" 59 8 IMPROVEMENT ERA "Yours was mild compared with ours," she remembered dole- fully. "Every crank in the city descended on us; about the foolest lot of things!" "Forget it," he ordered gruffly, but Letha was too in sympathy to mind his tone. For a time they sat perfectly silent, the faint breeze coming up ruffling their hair. Letha's eyes went back to the last lingering glory in the skies. Suddenly the man beside her broke out in a musing voice, apropos of nothing, "Funny, the things a fellow wants and the things he gets. I always remember the way Ted jWalker swore he'd never get tied down by marriage — and he sure never was intended for that state! Yet look at him. Married the first of the crowd and three youngsters now." "At least a man can do what. he wants," Letha commented. "Can he?" the man fired back at her hotly, and with a bitter undernote. Office gossip flashed to her of a termagant mother dependent on him, and nastily determined no girl should interfere with her claims. "You can't deny the man has the privilege of popping the ques- tion," she offered lamely. "A heck of a lot of difference that makes! But it isn't so much you want to marry as you get tired of having marriage rubbed into you. Today Jack told me he's going to try it — and I will be left stranded. With all the wives so sweetly," his voice lifted briefly in scornful mimicry, "insisting I come out with them, so they can show off how loving they are to their precious hubbies, before an outsider!" Letha laughed shortly. "Rubbing it in on the unmarried to convince themselves they're glad they married. You know back of the scenes — but just the same — it — you — Oh, — " "You've hit it," he agreed. "And then when you see the plainest girl you know flush up to positive beauty — and you wonder — " She did not finish. He did it for her, "You wonder what this thing 'love' is." A silence as remote as the last color-tinges on the horizon cob- webbed into time. Letha broke it dreamily, hardly conscious she was speaking her thoughts, "It's like the old fairy tale of the Sleeping Princess. No girl wants to be asleep, even in all her trappings and state. Yet until a Prince kissed her she had to sleep. And without any animation, any life, who wants to kiss a sleeping girl? To give her the awakening kiss of admiration?" Bob Roth turned uncertainly her way. Seemingly his errant mind had been penetrated by one word, "kiss." He saw lips, warm, soft, expectant. Lips made to be kissed. Startled for a moment, her lips curved to his, then wrenched away. "Oh! Oh!" she choked. "I — I didn't mean that." ROMANCE — TO ORDER 599 He drew back bewildered. "Please, I say, I don't know why I did that. Except it's spring. And I wanted to," he ended haltingly. Letha rallied, "Because I was the only girl around." "Not — not that. But every other fellow with his wife, or his girl. And — and — " he stumbled on. "I know," she spoke quickly. "I always thought that a prob- lem strictly limited to girls. But I suppose you can get just as tired of an overdose of masculine society as we do straight feminine. And find only one thing worse — married couples." "You've said it. Of course, the way I'm fixed it's not fair for me to monopolize any girl. I see exactly what Mother means when she says it isn't fair to the girl. Not that she thinks I'll break their hearts*, or any bosh like that," he flushed slightly, "but it drives off other fellows who could marry. And I'm not one of those chaps who can round up a new girl every week." She nodded with entire understanding. "It isn't that you want to get married. I'm much keener about my job even if it is forced on me by having Father out of commission. Just the same I hate being left out of all the fun of going out evenings. But I'm like you. I couldn't go on finding new men every week to play with. And when I couldn't be serious with the old ones — they married other girls; until a date's become a real event." He looked up eagerly. "I say, why can't we play around to- gether? We both understand there can never be anything serious. You've got your Father just as I have Mother. It seems1 to me we're about in the same boat." Her slim little hand met his with quick answering pressure. "Why not? What ho, for some jolly times!" An hour later, still buoyantly elated, she opened the door of their apartment and looked about for her father. He was reading by the student lamp. With chastening contrition she noticed the weary sag to the shoulders under the worn shabby coat. What dreary com- pany she must have been at dinner and he here alone all day! Bend- ing on tiptoe over, the high back of his chair, she ran a caressing hand across his high temples from which the silvering hair swept away so evenly. "That you, daughter mine?" he said, closing the heavy tome on his lap. "What are you studying, dear?" she asked. "Not this book," he shook his head gravely, "but the problem of how I can help bear expenses." Letha's heart sank. Why, oh, why must he grieve this way over being dependent on her when it was a happiness to her to be able to care for him? He went on, "I ought to be able to find some form of office work, nothing strenuous, easy hours. I'm so much stronger now." Her eyebrows contracted with quick, tense worry. "Oh, you 600 IMPROVEMENT ERA . know what's happened every time you've tried. You just suffer for it. And then there are the doctor bills — " She bit her lip at the pain on his face at her unfortunate allusion. "No," he agreed sadly, "I mustn't risk that additional load on you again. But when I think of that Mother of yours — always so sunny and laughing and gay. And a daughter of hers cooped up in an office. Not out free, enjoying yourself." "Will it cheer you up that I'm going to the theater with Bob Roth tomorrow night?" she asked, glad of something to divert him from an often-harped-on topic. "He's one of the men in the sales department." "Bob Roth. I haven't heard of him in years. So he's still with the firm I introduced him to, is he?" Letha looked up startled. "I'd forgotten you knew him. In fact I sometimes forget how many years you used to be with my — our firm." "He came with a letter from his mother. We used to live in the same little town. His mother's family owned the place next to purs. As a matter of fact," a faint quizzical smile crossed his face, "our mothers rather fixed it to have a match between us. To please them we went often to parties together. Then I met your mother — and no other woman existed afterwards." "I wonder how Mrs. Roth liked that," said Letha reflectively. Mr. Gardel shook his head. "I must admit she didn't. Purely a matter of pride. She had always counted me her property — to dispose of as she pleased. She was quite put out at our engagement. Really almost disagreeable to your mother. So much so, I have always felt it was the reason your mother favored leaving for a larger place. She said it would give me more scope to develop my powers. But, someway, the big success she expected never came." Letha's eyes may have been her mother's, same clear grey, fringed with the same dark lashes, and have gazed with the same adoration at the man before her, but years of office work had taught the younger woman how little his scholarly finenesses would count in the business world, while at the same time she had gained a new appreciation of their rare value that could not be put into words. "Nonsense, dear," she patted his hand tenderly, "it was just your health broke down at the wrong time. But tell me more about Mrs. Roth. You don't, draw a very attractive picture of her." "She is a very capable woman. At least she always used to be." "Judging from little things I've heard at the office;" said Letha grimly, "I take it she still is — where her own interests are concerned." "She seems to have made her son very much of a man." "And she's going to keep all the rewards for herself," Letha retorted quickly, the inexplicable antagonism she had felt from the first mention of this woman shaping to active dislike. During the ensuing weeks, in which she saw much of Bob Roth, • ROMANCE — TO ORDER 601 she sensed always the impending shadow of the woman's" indomitable will. At first it was imperceptible straws. Then there was his sudden unwillingness to follow plans to attend a show, and his sub- sequent admission his mother' was to be there, and his acknowl- edging he preferred noj to let her know how often he was with Letha. She eagerly endorsed that. Why should they tell? It was their own concern, no others. At her quick advocacy of hisi views he admitted his mother had opposed their friendship from the start. "I thought she'd be pleased to know I was going out with the daughter of the man she'd sent me to when I first came here; but I saw I'd stirred up a hornet's nest." Letha began jigsawing pieces together in her brain. The son determined to go to the city. The woman knowing only one man there. Pride in her desire to show him off to that man; dislike of asking ,a favor of a man whom Letha was strongly beginning to suspect she harbored a deep grievance over. And then later to have the prospect of the daughter of the woman who had stolen that man from her, as she would view it, that woman's daughter calmly pre- paring to steal her son away. Yes, that is how she would look at their innocent friendship! And the pity of it — to have a thing so harmless and sensible and fine distorted to such ridiculous con- ceptions! Well, it was lucky for them they were in a city and situated with freedom to do as they pleased. Decidedly she encouraged Bob to say nothing more to his mother. With the new sense of intimacy established she came to learn much of the subjection in which the mother was determined to hold the son. As a man he had been able to break away and have interests outside, but she could dictate only too much of the trend of his life, if through no other means than his purse. He confided to Letha that in the beginning, when he found all his friends marrying, he had hoped to join them reasonably soon. Recognizing his mother's attitude, he had seen it would never do to bring a girl of any spirit to live in the same house. But with his prospects gaining he expected soon to be able to provide a separate establishment for his mother on the scale she had always had. With baffling dismay he discovered that every raise in his checks simply increased the scale of living, made his mother but demand the more. The possibility of division into two continued as distant as ever. "That Mrs. Roth," Letha boiled over, coming in late after an evening with Bob and finding her father still up and ready to talk, "is a she devil." "Daughter! What are you saying?" "Well, she is! Bob's one of the finest of the fine, and she's cheating him out of everything in life. Willfully cheating him!" "But she is his mother." "Yes, and she'll see no one ever forgets it. She's the con- temptible sort that always does have a good excuse for making every- body else miserable. Widow and son. Skimping out her paltry 602 IMPROVEMENT ERA * estate to send him to college. Now little left, and up to son. Bah! He could have worked his way through by himself twice as easily. I don't believe she cares a hoot for all the things she makes him get. She just wants to have her own way." Mr. Gardel looked troubled. "She always had it," he admitted. "She was an only daughter and they gave her everything." "I declare I believe you are the only thing in the world she ever started after and failed to get," Letha declared, too wrathful to care how her father took it. "And to this day she's nursing a 'grouch' over it." "Oh, no, dear. You're absurd. She married another man." "Probably to show 'em she could. She's still rankling over the blow to her pride anyway. She's one of those horrible women who are always technically in the right. Of course, she's Bob's mother. And I suspect she's always had some perfectly good alibi for every act in her life. And she'll go on being perfectly impossible — and getting everything she doesn't deserve until somebody puts her in the wrong. Only nobody ever will succeed in doing it," she ended mournfully. Mr. Gardel could not suppress a laugh. "There used to be a lot of bad boys in school who longed to do that very thing. But she graduated head of her class. With a perfect deportment record and all the privileges that went with it." Letha melted into amusement at the picture drawn. But her feeling against the older woman was not dispersed, only driven into the background. That shadow, though, could not obscure the brightness of their days together. Halcyon days, filled with staunch work toward the business success each believed in, followed by gay frolics together in the evenings, and holidays of gypsy tramping after summer wild- flowers. Their companionship was perfect. Then came fall days of gold and red, a glory of pungent flaming foliage, a riot of the senses. One day they climbed through the crackling scrub oak to the pillared rocks*. The tang in the air sent blood coursing through them. A bough swished back against Letha. He sprang to intercept it. Without warning she was in his arms and they were swept to sudden madness. Close in his arms, knowing love's sweetness, love's poignancy, hearts made for each other beating together. Then came the agony of realization. The obtrusion of bitter necessity, the facing of facts as they were. Love had showed them the silvery glints of the inside of the stars but love must be lived in a house. His mother. Her father to be provided for. If he lived with them how could his mother be excluded? Three roofs. Where was money for that? Yet if they were all to live together! * * Her eyes, wide with the pain in them, met his mutely — bravely denying. Love, even such love as theirs, would die under such con- ROMANCE — TO ORDER 603 ditions. Better to keep this hour that had been theirs, a perfume to linger forever in the essence of their being. But the searing, stabbling pain of parting. No, oh, no! It couldn't — it mustn't — it shouldn't be. It couldn't, it couldn't be — . Existence now without each other was unthinkable. They clung breathlessly together. Inexorably life tore them apart. For the present, the drearily forward extending present, they tried to turn back to friendship. Friendship, frail creature, deserted them. They had spurned her once for her rival, she would flout them hereafter. She would not lend them even the pretense of her mantel. Love, love with hungry arms, pulled at them. Bitterly they faced it. The depth of each's love for the other gave strength. Love would not be denied, but each shrank equally from entering into a long fruitless engagement. It would be better to make a clean break now. And let the days roll drearily, bleakly Mr. Gardel knew something was wrong. But the white, silent misery in Letha's face brooked no questioning. His tenderest ministra- tions drew from her only a wan smile. Finally he could stand it no longer. "Had a tiff with your young man?" How he fought to keep his voice jovial! "No. No fight." She studied the listless hand in her lap. "It's simply all over. But, oh, Daddy," her voice broken from its apathy and crescended with pain, "what right have they to show us love if we can't have it? It didn't matter before. And now, dear God," her voice was a prayer, "nothing else matters." "But if he loves you," her father began gently. "Oh, he does! He does!" In a torrent the whole bitter story was laid before him. "It's not you, Daddy, it's not you. Don't feel it's that. It's she. And the ghastly whip hand she's got over it all." "But, daughter dear, it's not right. Youth has its right to love. Old people have no right to stand in the way." "Tell that to her, and see what good it does. As long as she lives — and she's beastly healthy — she'll fight it. And go on finding perfectly legitimate reasons for having her own way. Nothing but death can dispose of her hanging around his neck." "But, dear, surely she can be managed some way," her father pleaded futilely. Letha shook her head. "We've thought of everything. You can see yourself there's nothing to suggest. But don't worry about it, Daddy mine. It's just one of the things that show us how ineffably beautiful the world could be, and isn't. We're all right. You know I always did contend I was cut out for a business career," she said, managing a sorry little smile. "Let's get to bed. Morning comes as ever." 604 IMPROVEMENT ERA With pained sadness her father watched her through the door. It was wrong. Old folks like him and Bob's mother had no right hampering young love. His mind went back to Letha's mother, radiant, joyous, and to their own love time, to the romance, the youth, and the joy that made marriage. Now their daughter faced this. What a failure he had made of himself that he could do nothing! The helpless impotence of the invalid held him. Nothing in the world could exceed the torture of having to sit by, useless, and see Letha's happiness fade. He wondered if a talk with Mrs. Roth would accomplish any- thing even while a memory of the past told him no. She rose vividly before him, trailing tempestuous scenes of those days. No, he was not exactly one to go to her as young love's advocate. What Letha had said about her still brooding over it, recurred to mind. An idea came with crashing force. For a moment he shrank back in instinctive frozen recoil. He tried to canvass other possibilities but Letha had been right, there were none. Only in this way could he cease being the drag on Letha that was stealing away her chance at home and happiness. This way he could lift the burden from her. His shabby shoulders lost their weary sag. The failure had been offered one more opportunity for service, and he grasped it thankfully, repungnant a guise as it might wear. He crossed to the table and lifted the picture of the girl who had once been his bride, Letha's mother. Lovingly he ran his hand about the burnished gold, to brush away the dust that never had been given an opportunity to settle on it. "Lucy, you'd want it so, wouldn't you? And it's only in out- ward semblance — not in my heart, dear." His hand, though, faltered as he laid the picture away, not in its accustomed place but far underneath in a bottom drawer. But his face wore a look of peace, hard gained and triumphant. The next afternoon Bob came in to Letha, wildly excited. "Heard the news yet, Letha? Whoops! Think of it! Mother and your Father married!" "What!" "That's what they say. I had an errand up town so I stopped in at the house for lunch. And found this." Letha read the brief note blankly. "I don't believe it. There's a mistake somewhere. Why, Bob, it couldn't be. You don't know how wrapt up he was in memories of Mother." "But, Letha, it says they are married. It must be so." "I tell you, 'No,' " her voice was almost shrill. "It couldn't be. It's unspeakable even to suggest it. Not Father!" Let's go up and get the letter they say was left for you. Maybe you'll believe then." Letha complied in stony silence, almost hating Bob for the .. ROMANCE — TO ORDER 605 pleasure he was revealing. Knowing all and being pleased at his mother's prideful triumph in marriage to her old lover! For her to have her way even in this! As they drove off Bob turned to her with a strained look on his face. "Letha, it seems to me you're taking the news* that we're free to marry in a darned queer way." She stared up wide-eyed. "We free," she echoed. "Oh, don't you see it? Who's to hinder us now? Unless you don't want to," he added stiffly. "Want to," s)he again repeated but now softly, raptly. "Why, Bob, you are right. We can!" "I'll say so." "And that's what you were pleased about." "What else?" Letha kept discreetly silent, digesting to herself what this new state of affairs involved. Her father's letter amply confirmed the news. It was a letter so unlike him that Letha knotted her brows over it. She pointed out one paragraph to Bob. "Of course," it said, "we really are doing a very improvident thing. One for which you have much cause to censure us. As I tell Bob's mother the only way we can make amends is so to arrange it that we will be a much less heavy burden on you in the future than we have been in the past. The practical plan, it s»eems to me, would be for us to live in a small place on the outskirts of town, and possibly see what can be done with chickens'. At the time our back yards adjoined we both of us used to know a good bit about the feathered creatures. You young people will, of course, have to arrange to live nearer your places of business." "Say," cried Bob, "your father's a prince. Very tactfully doesn't add — but it's there — -'You two marry and set up your own home.' O Letha, girl! Ours! All alone!" The girl's eyes sparkled at his through a mist of tears. Denver, Colorado. After the Rain Yesterday my heart was aching, And the day was dismal, gray. From dark clouds the rain was drizzling, All the long and dreary day. But today, all's bright with sunshine, Skies are blue as blue can be. Small birds' throats seem simply bursting With a wealth of melody. Through dead grass new green is peeping; Buds on bare trees herald Spring, But it seems to me that I am Happier than anything! Scipio, Utah Nona H. Brown.