--- title: Improvement Era description: Monthly periodical of the Mormon church, 1897 onward. This library holds the issues of November 1897 to December 1930. authors: - Peay, Ida Stewart collections: - periodicals tags: - magazine - improvement-era periodical: Improvement Era volume: 23 number: 2 published: 1919-12 publisher: Young Men’s Mutual Improvement Associations publisher_place: Salt Lake City language: en type: magazine reference: 'Peay, Ida Stewart, "When the Wind Was Sown," *Improvement Era* 23, no. 2 (December 1919): 130–139.' source: url: https://archive.org/details/improvementera2302unse transcription: Transcribed from the Internet Archive scan of each issue (the item for each issue is named in the issue's own source); unnumbered advertising leaves are omitted, printed page numbers are kept as page markers. identifier: improvementera2302unse start_page: 130 end_page: 139 rights: status: public-domain basis: US publication 1930 or earlier (published 1919-12) source: https://archive.org/details/improvementera2302unse publication_year: 1919 note: The Internet Archive item metadata carries a blanket "© Copyright by Intellectual Reserve, Inc." notice. The library owner judged it inapplicable because this issue was published in 1919, before 1931; a scan-level notice does not restore copyright. --- # When the Wind Was Sown When the Wind was Sown By Ida Stewart Peay Mining Camp, March 4, 19 — Dear Mother: Arrived here last Monday O. K. and got "on." When I touched the boss for a job at three plunks per diem, he eyed me dubiously. "How old are you?" he growled. His eyes were on my chin but finally they traveled down the whole length of my six-feet-two, and when they lit on my number tens —well, they saved me, for he grinned and mumbled, "'Bout twenty?" I gave my head a fling forward, not to fib by way of mouth, so he put me on the drill. Just think of your little old slim (who "grew so fast he didn't have time to flare out," as Mamsy says), making three dollars a day! Now you can cut out the worry wrinkles for good, little Mother! You'll soon be able to conclude that grocery bill that's been continued in our next since the flood; and Dad can buy off a few of old Falon's visits. Say, but I'd hate to lend money. I'd be too sorry for the poor devils in my debt. I can't see just how we got into this fix but I know how we're going to get out. Listen, I'll make nearly $80 a month puts the kibosh on Jim, eh? — grab, that I've always felt like he'd beat — me, but we'll see well, for my board and small needs I will require about $45; that will leave me $35 to send to you regu- larly. How's that for your seventeen-year-old? You can overlook my being a bit boastful, can't you, Mamsy dear? To tell the truth, I'm as proud of this chance to help you and Dad as I was of the first nickel I earned with my little red wagon in the long ago days. Remember that old wagon, Mother, and the "pile" I used to earn hauling things for the different neighbors? Wish Dad would get a job here, too! Between us, we could soon pay off the bills and fix you up quite comfortably. It justs cuts me deep to think of all the trouble and poverty you've been through these last few years. Mining Camp, March 12, 19 — Grab, Mamsy, I've been so interested this past week I for- got to get my letter off to you. In the bunk house I sleep be- tween two rascals, and they babble their shark tales across WHEN THE WIND WAS SOWN 131 me when we go to bed until I feel like I was reading a contin- — ued story one that grips and keeps going on in your mind between instalments. Of course, they don't notice me, think Fm asleep, perhaps. I've offered to change places with one of them so they can be rearer to each other but they won't hear of it. One of the fellows is a round, smooth-faced man of Eiboiit forty-five or fifty with innocent blue eyes and a bald — head nicknamed Baldv. The other person is shaggy and black looking, with small, wicked eyes and a quiet tongue. I forget his name, but I call him Stillwater to myself. He tells about one tale to Baldy's ten but his are sure eye-openers. He has a voice that is as smooth ai cilk; and a way of telling a story that makes you listen with your breath quiet. Last night he told about being dead broke in Seattle recently. He hadn't won anything for a long t ; me and was so shabby he didn't even dare to go into a saloon. Well, he found a fellow lying drunk in the rear of a gaming house there, so he appropriated the sleeper's coat, hat and purse and then, to put it briefly, went into the saloon and won six thousand dollars before day break — gambling, you knew! What do you know about that? Nearly Both men seem to have taken a fancy to me. every night they coax me to play a few games with them. Of course, they are not what you would call "desirable citizens," but they're sure friendly and a fellow feels mighty strange here at first. There's another guy who hangs around us a good deal and sometimes plays. He's a stupid baggage, small and light complexioned, with vellow fingers and lips (tobacco stained) and bleary, buttermilk eyes. Everybody calls him Skinny. He rubs me the wrong wav with his profanity and spiritless man- ner, and I have a hunch that we will have trouble one of these days. Baldy and Stillwater snub him all the time, but still he is always hanging around when we get out the cards and blow- beat me. Guess ing about the game he plays— thinks he can he will find out. I've played a time or two in my day— 1 don t believe these two ra-cals could beat you or Dad. house. Gee! but there's a pretty girl over at the boarding She has been mightv decent to me since I came—brings me me books to read. 1 got the best there is of the eats and lends taste for reading when I used to stay with Jim a week a little to Jim. now and then. Aunt Marv read a bully lot of stories evening, she wouldn t hear They got out a book nearly every shock he would get a of Jim playing cards, you know. Poor Jim, Sunday School notions. I ve never if he came up here with his here, but I was a little prepared for reen life lived just as it is it was bitter as it— didn't have to spit out the beer and say was the first time Jim Jim did, vou remember, at our house. It 132 IMPROVEMENT ERA had ever tasted beer and he wouldn't have swallowed it then if Father hadn't guyed him and told him that a fellow who couldn't take a glass of beer when he wanted it and leave it alone when he'd had enough wasn't half a man. Well, Mamsy, I must close. Remember, you will only have to stave off the collectors till the first. When Dad comes through on his way home, I'll send the money with him. I notice that freak, Skinny, aspires to a friendship with Hetty, that's the dining-room girl I alluded to before; of course she wouldn't look at his kind, but it makes a fellow sick to see him trying to get her attention. As ever, Dave. Mining Camp, Sept. 10, 19— Mother: had determined not to write any more, and of I course never to show my face in the old home again. Heaven is my witness, the shame of my failure with you and Dad is only half my punishment. Day and night in my mind I see you thin and silent struggling on with want and debts and I had — planned, oh, I was so sure to work for you so that "hard times," those awful "hard times," would come again no more. And then to think I failed you! I was so overcome with remorse and shame I just couldn't answer your letters, but the one that came today "got me." When I read that you would rather have my confidence than all the money I could make the rest of my life, I decided you should have it, even if it did cause me greater shame and misery. So here it is. The night I got my first check I felt so good I could hardly hold myself down, I wanted to dance and shout and throw up my cap. First thing I thought of was how happy you would be to be able to pay off some of the bills. Then my fancy flew — — on you know I got your imagination, Mamsy and I saw you managing my small contribution so economically and wisely that you soon had a washer and range, also a new rug and some reputable rockers and a for-sure phonograph no one— knows better than I how you would love the music. I was just going out to get my check cashed when I met Baldy and Stillwater. "You're a great one!" they began, guying me scornfully. "What for?" I asked, my curiosity quickly aroused. "For letting that simp, Skinny, get away with the little beauty of the dining-room," they explained, regarding me with open contempt. "He's had her out for a ride," said Baldy. It was a lie, but I didn't know it then, and the thought of the yellow fingered ; WHEN THE WIND WAS SOWN 133 pup touching little Hetty created a vicious wrath in me. Still- water was watching me closely. "Listen," he insinuated in his soft, wheedling voice, "I'll tell you how to get even with him. Get his check tonight, and he won't be out for any more rides for a spell. He's over in the saloon, now, loading up, and bragging that he can beat any fellow in camp at cards. Come and take him down a peg or two, you can do it as easy as fun." Baldy took hold of one of my arms, while Stillwater took the other, and they led me along between them. I didn't cash my check because it flashed through my mind, with a wave of pleasure, that maybe I could let Dad have the whole of it. [ intended to do so if I could win what I needed from my now avowed rival. Of course, I thought it was no harm to play cards only a few orthodox fanatics like Aunt Mary see any wrong in it, and it is as honorable to win money at cards in this camp as it is to earn it at the drill or shovel. When we got over to the saloon, Skinny was there swagger- ing around with the big boast on his yellow lips, so I took him up. We played first for the drinks and I won. Baldy and Stillwater hung around to watch the sport and drink with us. I took a little beer with them, knowing I could stop when I felt like it. We began to put up the money in such small amounts that it took me until midnight to win twenty dollars from him. Then all of a sudden he made a plunge and bet me a cool hundred. I just had enough to cover him by using my check, so we played for it. I was sure of beating him, but my heart was in my mouth, every nerve in me tingled, and I had to keep swallowing the beer Stillwater continually offered me, to keep my throat moist. We played a rapid and highly exciting game; towards its close Skinny woke up and began to act like he had a little sense and — well, Mother, he won. Yes, he won. A cold perspiration broke out upon me. "We'll raise the stakes," I cried, my voice shaking with horror. "No, I don't want to play any more, I'm going to bed," announced the coward as he grabbed the money and made for the door. Baldy and Stillwater scorned him while I reasoned with him, coaxed him, commanded him and finally knocked him down and beat him up— I think I had been drinking too — much beer and I was terribly desperate but he would sneak away like the cur that he is. Baldy and Stillwater sympathized with me, put me to bed and soothed me till I became calm. But I did not go to sleep; snoring, I got up and dressed as soon as the old fellows were and walked the hills till morning. 134 IMPROVEMENT ERA Then Dad came. I don't think any misery can ever come to me that will equal the shame and remorse I felt to face Dad and tell him I had no money for you. 1 hoped he would strike me down, but he didn't say one word. He only turned and started away, the lines around his mouth and eyes seemed to drag downward, he had no color, his shoulders drooped slightly; it was the first time Dad had ever looked old to me. I had dealt him an aging blow and I knew you would feel much worse. I couldn't follow him, I was unmanned, I slipped away to a tiny cove near the dump and hid there until I was able to control my feelings. All during the next month, Baldy and Stillwater kept me in tow and befriended me n:o3t generously. We played cards a good deal and they taught me many new tricks, declaring al- ways that I could beat Skinny and that I must get even with him. They caught him talking with Hetty a number of times and told me about the underhanded things he would do to get her notice. The thought of him fawning around the girl with his yellow leer tormented me awfully, so I got in and courted her pretty lively myself. Once I made her kiss me and after — that well, I thought about her two-thirds of my time, and I was ten times more enraged at Skinny for pestering her, though I knew she despised the drunken gambler. The night I got my second check, Baldy and Stillwater fired me to get my revenge on Skinny. They swore I could beat him this time. We played all night. I was so excited I did not know my name or where I came from; I played as I had never played before, but my enemy won again. Then Baldy and Stillwater got me drunk and kept me drunk for three days. They said it was the only way to fight bad luck. At the end of the next month they had worked on me until the mere mention of Skinny's name was like a red rag to me, and I was so keen to have another game I hunted the camp down for him. He didn't want to play with me, or, so he pretended; but, to be sure, it was all a hoax; he beat as usual and beat me easy. Of course, you've guessed by now that Baldy and Stillwater were in cahoots with him, and the three had worked together to bunco me. They left camp that night, to plav the same devilish game ekewhere on some other guile- less infant. It took all my next month's salary to pay my accumulated bills. The night before I fot my pay for the fifth month I went to see Hetty. She treated me rather coldly, but before leaving the hoire I got hold of her and kissed her. Then I don't know — — . WHEN THE WIND WAS SOWN 135 what got into me, but I kissed her again and again and begged her to marry me the next day. I knew she loved me, Mother. I could see it in her face and feel it in her trembling little body, even if she did struggle angrily away from me. "You!" she cried with hot cheeks and flashing eyes. "You!^ —— Why you are nothing but a a drunken gambler. Skinny says you've gambled away every cent you've made since you came here and that you have been drunk for three days at a time," she flashed. All of a sudden my teeth shut down hard and my eyes narrowed. "Did he say that?" I asked, I was choking with rage. "Yes, he did; and so did some of the other men," she re- torted. "All right, goodbye, I'm leaving town tomorrow," I said, and went away. "You will write to me, won't you, Dave?" she called after me, and I fancied I heard a sob in her voice but I did not turn back. The following day I was seized with a passion to retrieve my fortune at the gaming table so I could send you some money. Well, I played and drank and lost again. Then I beat my way camp. I'm on the trail of that cur, Skinny. I'm deter- to this mined to learn to win, then I am going to get even with the yellow-lipped tale bearer. Yes, Mother, I guess I'm going down, down, down. God help you, and Your bad boy, Dave. P. S. You asked me in your letter whatever made me want to gamble. I don't know, unless it was—I've been wondering but no, it couldn't be; I don't know, Mother, I don't know. Mining Camp, Sept. 10, 19 — My dear Mother: I have not written to you for four years but it isn't because I haven't thought of you often and bitterly enough whenever I was sober and not hanging insanely over the gaming table. I heard from some of our townspeople that you and Dad had gone into business and made good; the news relieved me some, but heaven knows I have served a full term of mental punishment for my unpardonable failure with you. Today I had to write. I've got something to tell you, Mamsy, dear, something perfectly— ah, but I will begin at the beginning. write vou for months but have waited to be I've longed to to absolutely sure of myself. Now I am satisfied, and I can hardly wait to tell you all. ._ \. . This is the Sabbath and I am writing out on the hillside where all nature is sweetly tranquil as though in observance of 136 IMPROVEMENT ERA the sacred day. The great throbbing machinery of the little burg below me is stilled, while the streets are tleserted, for it is only 9:00 o'clock a. m. The sun is sailing higher and higher, is bursting over the canyon in all the glory of its brightness and warmth, bringing out the deep velvety green of the mountain's September foliage. A small congregation of birds are thrilling out with tremendous energy their praises of earth and its joys, and in spirit I am joining in with them. O, Mamsy, it is so — good to be alive it is wonderful! I know God planned all these marvels of happiness and pleasure, and hereafter I am certainty — going to but, oh, yes, I said I would begin at the beginning. Yes, four years ago today I wrote you, it was on my eigh- teenth birthday. For two years and a half after I sent that letter, I wandered from camp to camp in Utah, Nevada, and Colorado, searching for the villains who won my first earnings. J drank and gambled all the time. At last I found Skinny and won his money, what little he had, but to my surprise I got no pleas- ure out of it. The poor old crook was a sorry enough looking spectacle. I will say no more about those two and a half years. I would like to blot them from my memory, but they are con- stantly in the background of my consciousness looming up, dark and ugly. It reminds me of that story about the boy who drove nails in the tree for his bad deeds, you remember, and drew them out for good deeds; though his persistent good acts en- abled him eventually to remove all the nails, he complained that the holes were still there. So it is with me, Mother. Well, a year and a half ago I drifted back here. I think I was looking for Hetty, but she was not in the camp. I found — some one I knew though it was Jim. Yes, sir, I met him on — the street. He was dressed up like a bank president he is a superintendent here on a salary three times as large as any I ever made. I looked like a tramp and was half full, but, my! Mother, you ought to have seen Jim greet me; he acted like he had just found his best loved friend. Yes, Mamsy, Jim's a prince. He took me to his boarding house, made me share his rooms with him, and the next day found me a good job. After I had been with him a few days I grew unbearably restless; also I wondered how a fellow raised like Jim was would come out in this camp. "Let's go down town," I suggested one evening. "What for?" he asked. "O, see the fun." — "What fun?" he questioned again, smiling Jim's always smiling. "O, well, just to see what the boys are doing." " " WHEN THE WIND WAS SOWN 137 "I know what those down town are doing." "What?" "Gossiping, drinking, playing cards and pool, I would sup- pose." "Let us go and look on a while," I urged, admitting his sup- position. "Don't believe it would amuse me very much to watch them at their fun," he resisted pleasantly. "We could take a little part, play a game of cards or some- thing," I coaxed, getting nervous to be off. "Do you know, Dave, I've never learned how to play cards," he apologized. "Been in this camp three years and haven't learned to play cards, smoke, drink or anything?" I marveled. "Nothing like that," he said. "How did you keep out of it?" I demanded, and Jim knew I wanted the exact truth. "It was this way, Dave," he began to tell me, his smile gath- ering into a serious little pucker that would make you take his word in spite of anything: "Mother was awfully against those things. She wouldn't have any cards around our house; she was afraid if I formed the habit of playing cards I might never learn a better way to amuse myself. She wouldn't drink tea, coffee or beer, and urged me not to do so: she said if I never tasted them, or tobacco, or whisky, I could never have a craving for them. So I was taught and when I came here at eighteen, the saloon pleas- ures made no appeal to me. I — "Didn't you find life rather dull?" I chipped in. Jim's smile came back. "Dull! Why I'm interested every minute. I have such plans and ambitions, and my work — "Don't you ever play?" I interposed. "Sure, a great lot," he cried. I could not imagine what he played at, so I begged him to tellme precisely how he amused himself. "When I was a little shaver," he started again, "Mother read to me a good deal and I got such an appetite for reading that it has been one of my chief forms of pleasure. Then I — have my violin " he cast an appreciative glance into the corner where the instrument stood in its case. "Is that all the fun you have?" I scoffed. "Why, no, I go to parties and socials and shows and on canyon trips," he defended. "You see, I joined the Mutual workers at fourteen and got in with a jolly crowd of boys and girls and we've had all kinds of fun." "Lots of girls in your amusements?" I insinuated mildly sarcastic. —" 138 IMPROVEMENT ERA "Why, yes; there's no better company for men than good women," Jim declared, firing up, "and I've always treated them as I would like my sisters treated." A little more talk along this line brought out the fact that Jim was soon to be married. I was surely surprised. Well, I went down town alone. I just had to go, and when I confess to what I did that night you will get some idea of the kind of a hold my habits had on me. During the day Jim had insisted on lending me $50 to "get me a new suit of clothes and pay my way in advance," he said to start like a man of character, he meant. That night I didn't do a thing but loose his money in a game and get on a spree which lasted four days. When my head cleared up, I was in Jim's room. Jim was there; he began chatting to me naturally. "I gambled off your money," I blurted out defiantly. "Poor old Dave!" I heard him murmur pityingly under his breath; aloud he declared it was perfectly all right, didn't matter at all. He said he had a suit he was not wearing, as well as some extra linen, and that he had already paid my board bill for a month. Mother, his kindness was the bitterest medicine I ever swallowed. Finally he came and smoothed my hair. "But you want to stop this business, don't you, Dave?" he enquired as gentle as a woman. I stared at him sulkily, thinking what a fool he was. "Let me help you," he added with the best intent. Then something went through me like electricity. I knew in my heart I had as good blood in me as Jim — were not our fathers brothers? I leaped to my fleet. — "No, I'll walk alone or fall straight to hell," I said. But, though I had my mind thoroughly made up, he did help me. He and his new wife introduced me into their circle, took me to their parties and to church, and I became greatly in- terested in their activities. Nevertheless, I was restless and lone- some until one evening when out for a stroll I came face to face with Hetty: then, Mother, I felt as if I had suddenly found paradise. After we had chatted a few minutes, all at once I enquired, unable to curb my eagerness, "Do you like me a little, yet, Hetty?" She laughed softly, looking into my eyes, and I knew she did; but when I begged her to marry me, abruptly, as I had done once before, she drew back to regard me thoughtfully. I said not a word, but my heart missed a beat or two while I bore Ler scrutiny. "It's all right, Dave," she smiled at last, praise and approval in her eyes. "It's all right, I can see the new manhood in your — face I knew you would make the finest kind of a man if — ; WHEN THE WIND WAS SOWN 139 Well, it is sufficient to say we were married the following month. — That was a year ago, and today that's what I'm writing to tell — you today God gave us a little eon. He's the grandest little shaver you ever saw. Hetty says he's going to be named after me. When I took the tiny fellow in my arms, tears of joy started in my eyes. I was so grateful for such a wonderful gift that I — made a vow to my Maker that's how I knew for sure I could tell you I was going to always live right, now — I vowed that my eon should never see his Dad smoke, drink whisky, nor play cards. I want him to be like Jim, and if I let him know from the start that those vices cannot be trifled with, perhaps it will help but, of course, quen sabe? We're coming to see you soon, Mamsy, if you think you can forgive your wayward but deeply repentant Dave. © Underwood & Underwood, New York