--- title: Improvement Era description: Monthly periodical of the Mormon church, 1897 onward. This library holds the issues of November 1897 to December 1930. authors: - Whitney, Orson F. collections: - periodicals tags: - magazine - improvement-era periodical: Improvement Era volume: 19 number: 11 published: 1916-09 publisher: Young Men’s Mutual Improvement Associations publisher_place: Salt Lake City language: en type: magazine reference: 'Orson F. Whitney, "The True Gentleman," *Improvement Era* 19, no. 11 (September 1916): 980–983.' source: url: https://archive.org/details/improvementera19011unse transcription: Transcribed from the Internet Archive scan of each issue (the item for each issue is named in the issue's own source); unnumbered advertising leaves are omitted, printed page numbers are kept as page markers. identifier: improvementera19011unse start_page: 980 end_page: 983 rights: status: public-domain basis: US publication 1930 or earlier (published 1916-09) source: https://archive.org/details/improvementera19011unse publication_year: 1916 note: The Internet Archive item metadata carries a blanket "© Copyright by Intellectual Reserve, Inc." notice. The library owner judged it inapplicable because this issue was published in 1916, before 1931; a scan-level notice does not restore copyright. --- # The True Gentleman The True Gentleman* BY ORSON F. WHITNEY I have promised to give a ten-minute talk on "The True Gentleman." What does it mean to be a gentleman? I had the pleasure, four years ago, of accompanying the boy scouts on their first hike over the old Pioneer Trail through the Wasatch Mountains. We had a splendid time. Many interesting things happened. We had a magnificent oration from Brother Roberts, — and I said some good things myself (laughter) especially after Captain Grant appointed me to crack jokes for the company and appointed Rulon Wells to laugh at them. His appreciation was quite encouraging, though it worked him pretty hard. But what remains with me most is a little incident that occurred while we were camped one night in East Canyon. The boys had saluted the flag and lowered it, putting it away with reverent hands. Supper was over, a ring was formed, and some athletic games were indulged in. Two of the scouts grappled each other and began to wrestle, and I tell you it was a tug of war for a few minutes, they were so evenly matched. One was a fine young fellow, straight as an arrow, a native of Salt Lake City, and the other a husky lad from Davis county. The bout ended with the Salt Laker flat upon his back. But he got up smiling, and without waiting to dust his clothes, walked up to his antagonist and extending his hand, congratulated him on his victory. I was the poet laureate of the hiking scouts, I suppose you know, and because of this incident I included in my verse "Hiking the Trail," a line reading, "Irwin Clawson, gentleman.'* He was the scout who was thrown. But he was a victor none the less— for he mastered himself. He would not allow himself to pout, to feel miffed or disappointed and in the generosity of ; his heart and the gentility of his soul, he complimented the one who had defeated him. It was the act of a true gentleman. — The splendid conduct of General Grant his magnanimity in the hour of triumph at Appomattox, where General Lee surrendered, has often been commented upon. Grant, refusing to accept the sword of Lee, or the horses of the conquered cavalry, protested: "Not a single horse, General. You will need them for your spring plowing." This showed the greatness of General Grant probably more than any other act of his life. But what *Told at the Scout demonstration, Deseret Gymnasium, June M. I. A. Conference, 1916. THE TRUE GENTLEMAN 981 about the other side? Take Lee's conduct at Gettysburg, after Pickett's glorious charge had failed, when he saw his gray battalions melting away, and must have known that the cause of the South had reached high water mark, and must ebb with the loss of that great battle. Gazing upon his defeat, the Confederate chieftain did not swear, did not curse, did not blow out his brains ; he simply sighed : "We cannot always win victories." — Grant was great, but Lee was greater at all events his greatness was put to the severer test. It is great to be magnanimous in th^ hour of victory, but it is greater to be patient in the hour of adversity. Robert E. Lee was a true American gentleman. To be a gentleman does not mean to part your hair in the middle, and sport a gold-headed cane. It doesn't mean to wear broadcloth. A man can be a gentleman in buckskin. A woman can be a lady in homespun. Of course, there are little courtesies and amenities, such as lifting your hat to a lady, or to someone above you in authority. These things are beautiful, and pertain to gentility. General Washington was walking one day with a friend, and they met an aged negro, who doffed his hat as thev approached. Off came Washington's hat in return. The friend was shocked: "Why, General, do you take off your hat to a nigger?" Washington replied: ''Would you have me outdone in politeness by one?" A splendid answer. The Father of our Country was a true gentleman. I like to see a hat lifted to a lad v. I like to hear one gentle- — man say to another, "After you, sir" as the undertaker said to the doctor. These things are all right. But the point I wish to bring out is that gentility means something far more than this. A gentleman is gentle, kind and considerate of others. He is chivalrous, generous and brave, tender to women and children, respectful and reverential to authority. All these are features of a gentleman's character and conduct. Sir Philip Sydney, an English nobleman, lay wounded upon the battlefield, suffering with that raging thirst which alwavs seizes one who has been shot through. His attendant brought him some water to assuage his urning thirst, and he was about to 1 drink, when he saw a common soldier lying a few feet away, gasping for brea'h and just ready to expire. Sydney waived ba^': the water, and told them to give it to that dying soldier. "His need is greater than mine." declared the wounded hero. An English gentleman !But never so much a gentleman as then. When I was in England, many years atro, we had among our missionary corps an honest Welsh blacksmith, brave as a lion, devoted to his relieion, but without much education. Traveling in his native land, he came to the castle of Hawarden, the summer residence of William E. Gladstone, then prime minister of — England a great scholar, great orator, great man. This brother — 982 IMPROVEMENT ERA made up his mind to bear his testimony to Mr. Gladstone, and how he did it. Wrapping up a bundle of gospel tracts, he this is sent them off to the castle, with a postal card, reading: "Dear Mr. Gladstone, I send you some trax ;read them for they are fax." Now, a gentleman never takes advantage of another person's weakness; and a gentleman always answers his correspond ents promptly. Those who don't answer promptly are not gentlemen —they are ladies (laughter). Gladstone, instead of tossing the tracts into the waste-basket, as a contemptuous flunkey would have done, directed his secretary to write a kind and respectful letter to the humble "Mormon" missionary, thanking him for his tracts, and assuring him that he would read them. That was the act of a true gentleman. Every rule of etiquette, of good conduct, has common sense to warrant it.Why are you told to eat with your fork and not with your knife? Why, because if you ate with your knife you might cut your mouth, and the chances are it is big enough already. Why do you take soup but once? Because too much liquid at one time is not good for the stomach. Why are you to eat silently and avoid greediness? Because the opposite course is offensive to those around you. The best definition of gentility is this "A gentleman is one : who puts us at ease in his presence." A woman is a lady upon the same principle. And how much that means ! It is not merely to bow and scrape, and doff your hat. It means to be thoughtful and considerate it means to have a clean body and a clean mind ; to be pure in thought, in conduct, and in conversation. It means to be always thinking of others, and how to make them happy. I would have every boy scout a gentleman in this high sense of the term. A gentleman is always respectful to authority. They tell a story about Louis XIV of France; Louis the Grand, they called him. He was "the pink of politeness," "the first gentleman of Europe," a title afterwards misbestowed upon George the Fourth of England. One day he was going out for a drive, this grand monarch, and as the carriages or conveyances drew up, he turned to one of the nobles of his court and invited him to get in first. The Frenchman bowed very low and said, "After your majesty." The king did not like it a shadow crossed his face. ; Turning to another nobleman, who chanced to be the English ambassador, he asked him to get in first. The Englishman bowed just as politely as the Frenchman, and then sprang in. The king, — pointing to him, said "There is the true gentleman he did as I : desired." I had a similar lesson impressed upon me once. I was traveling for the Dcscret News, and came to the city of Logan while a stake conference was in session. Upon the stand were Presi- : THE TRUE GENTLEMAN 983 dent John Taylor and counselors, President Cannon and our beloved President Smith also Brother Thatcher and other apos- ; tles. Brother Penrose was likewise there he was then editor of ; the Nezvs. I wanted to ask him a question, and so walked up near the stand, and beckoned to him. Bishop Preston, who presided over Cache stake at that time, said "Come up, Brother : Whitney, come up on the stand." "Oh, no," I replied for I didn't ; feel worthy to sit among those great men so I declined, think- ; ing it the proper thing to do. Brother Preston then remarked "Well, when I come to the Eighteenth ward [where I was Bishop] and you ask me to sit on the stand, I will accept." President Smith, overhearing the remark, advised me : "Orson, do as the Bishop tells you." I did not argue the point I walked ; up onto the stand and took a seat. It was a lesson to me that I have tried to profit by ever since. The Prophet Joseph Smith declared that when God offers knowledge or a gift to a man, and he refuses to receive it, he will be damned. A king's invitation is a command, and God is the King of kings. When authority wishes to honor you by giving you an appointment or a gift or a blessing of any kind, you cannot do better than to accept. If you refuse, you put up your judgment against that of the one who makes the offer. You throw it back in his teeth. No wonder the French monarch was displeased. He would not have offered that nobleman a seat in his carriage, if he had not wanted him to accept it, and when the latter declined, he put his judgment against the judgment of the king. It was an act of impoliteness. Always accept a call to a mission, or an appointment of any kind, to labor at home or abroad, in the service of the Lord. Whenever your bishop or stake president says do this, or do that, obey. That is the secret of growth and progress in the kingdom of God. The one who accepts the call advances. The one who declines it takes a backward step. I have a boy at home of whom I am justly proud. He never had to be told to get in the kindling and coal for his mother. He knew instinctively that this was his duty, and he took it upon himself. One day, while I was absent, my wife began to split kindling, and Paul (the boy I refer, to) walked up to her and said: "Mother, this is no work for you," and took the ax out of her hand. It was the act of a gentleman. And he was not doing it to "show off," mind you. He did it from an innate sense of politeness. A gentleman is always kind to women and children. Boys who love their mothers and respect their fathers are very apt to be gentlemen. You are a gentleman when you put other people at ease in your presence, when you are kind, chivalrous and respectful, and receive in the right spirit what authority wishes to bestow. Be true gentlemen.