--- title: Improvement Era description: Monthly periodical of the Mormon church, 1897 onward. This library holds the issues of November 1897 to December 1930. authors: - Jordan, William George collections: - periodicals tags: - magazine - improvement-era periodical: Improvement Era volume: 16 number: 2 published: 1912-12 publisher: Young Men’s Mutual Improvement Associations publisher_place: Salt Lake City language: en type: magazine reference: 'William George Jordan, "Little Problems of Married Life. XVI," *Improvement Era* 16, no. 2 (December 1912): 149–153.' source: url: https://archive.org/details/improvementera1602unse transcription: Transcribed from the Internet Archive scan of each issue (the item for each issue is named in the issue's own source); unnumbered advertising leaves are omitted, printed page numbers are kept as page markers. identifier: improvementera1602unse start_page: 149 end_page: 153 rights: status: public-domain basis: US publication 1930 or earlier (published 1912-12) source: https://archive.org/details/improvementera1602unse publication_year: 1912 note: The Internet Archive item metadata carries a blanket "© Copyright by Intellectual Reserve, Inc." notice. The library owner judged it inapplicable because this issue was published in 1912, before 1931; a scan-level notice does not restore copyright. --- # Little Problems of Married Life. XVI LITTLE PROBLEMS OF MARRIED LIFE 151 wife, through pique at being neglected, may receive innocently and unwisely the kind attentions of another. The husband, brought to realization of the drifting possibilities of his negligence, may by special marks of affection, returning to the old courtship methods, restore the. old certainty of faith and allness. If wise, he will let the consciousness of his initial wrong keep him from revealing too plainly his pain. Angry protests and condemnation never cure; they merely put a premium on secrecy and deception. It does not remove the disease, it merely drives it into the system. In every instance of jealousy the innocent one should meet it at the beginning, at its earliest manifestation. This means recognition and a wise determination to remove the cause, but not necessarily blame or indignant streams of condemnation flowing hot and lava-like from an emotional Vesuvius. There is a false pride that says, "If he is growing interested in another let him go. I will not compete for his affection," or, "If she feels that way, let her have her way." Love, happiness and trust are treasures too sacred for us to permit them to slip out of our lives and leave us lone and dreary, on the mere technicality of the petty pride of a moment. This philosophy of resignation may be proper when it becomes inevitable, but never before. We would not let health, money, position, reputation or property thus drift away without using every effort to retain it ; why does false pride sometimes make us so reckless with what means most to us? Morbid jealousy is a real, sad problem of the married life of many homes. It may break out at any moment and many a guest, as he passes his cup for more tea, is struck with surprise at the strange expression on the face of the hostess, sees the lightning flash in her eyes and watches it strike the innocent husband at the end of the table, and the guest almost hears the thunder as he hopes he will be home before the cloudburst comes. And the sudden sultry atmosphere, and that strange hush, with the air of the room surcharged with electricity, may all have come in a moment with not the slightest real justification. It is the selftorture of love. To morbid jealousy civility, just of the ordinary type, becomes flirtation ; indifference, disguised feelings ; good spirits, conscience masking a wrong ; silence, thinking of some one else — all is trans- 152 IMPROVEMENT ERA latecl by the cipher code of jealousy. Jealousy always plays with loaded dice — the cast is always foreordained. Jealousy does not require a cause, it is satisfied with an opportunity. It may be inspired by what one does or does not do, what one thought or did not think, what one said or did not say ; it may be what one might have, could have or should have done or said or left undone. Jealousy conjugates in all moods and tenses. To this morbid jealousy explanations mean nothing but aggravation or a change of a base of attack. The most tactfully delivered explanation is often dexterously caught, and with a whisk of the vocabulary is quickly transformed into a foaming whipped-cream conviction on some other phase, while the innocent sufferer, in a dazed way, wonders how it was done. Vesuvius, in its eruptions, is slow, snail-like inactivity compared with the explosions of this jealousy. Unlike cigar smoking, jealousy is not a one-sex specialty. This morbid jealousy is always unreasoning and unreasonable. Its misinterpretation of a word, a motion or a glance may throw into eclipse the loyal unselfish devotion of a life, and the one who suffers innocently in this tempest must bow the head in helplessness, realizing that words of protest would count no more than attempting to lead a tornado to change its itinerary. Jealousy stifles faith, which is the soul of love. It is emotional suicide. It is a peculiar form of fear which seeks constantly to discover what it does not want to find. Jealousy is the chloroform of confidence. It requires faith to keep faith, trust to retain trust, love to cherish love. Jealousy blights spontaneity and the free expression of one's thought ; one soon consigns one subject after another to the quarantine of the unspoken. One involuntarily sterilizes one's conversation, omitting simple little incidents and references nothing in themselves but which experience has shown carry storm-signals, so that one involuntarily picks one's way carefully in talking, like a person getting up at night in a dark, chair-sprinkled room. How Cupid must moan when he finds married people grown tactful and politic with each other! The delightful free interchange of thought can exist only as love and trust make Bluebeard chambers of interdicted subjects unnecessary and impossible in conver- LITTLE PROBLEMS OF MARRIED LIFE 153 sation. We should guard carefully against closing up any room of confidence in the mind and heart of one we love. There is pathos in this morbid jealousy, for no innocence of the object of the feeling can prevent it. It is like one of those concave or convex mirrors that distort whatever passes before them. This unreasonable jealousy is hard on two people — the subject and the object. Its presence in the home means a problem for two. For one it means the overcoming of a morbid suspicion and the other somehow to keep the sacred flame of love burning despite the suspicion. There is always a benumbing, paralyzing sense of helplessness and of hopelessness in resting under a cruel, unjust charge more awful when it is made by one who should be most ready of all the world to be convinced of the innocence of the accused. Jealousy is a disease that can be cured only by the subject, not by any one else in all the world. No matter how gentle, kind, forbearing, forgiving, and forgetting the object of it may be, this in itself will not cure the attacks. The subject whose heart is thus swayed by fierce gales of jealousy must first awaken to the folly of it, the injustice of it, must be conscious of the trail of bitterness and unhappiness it brings to both, must realize the cruel continued assault on the tolerance, love, loyalty and patience of the other, and when the next attack comes, seek by strength of will, by force of character, by consecrated self-control and by every help of highest wisdom to kill the feeling. < Jealousy must be fought as one would battle against a pestilence that threatens the safety of a town or a country. It is not sufficient conquest merely to hold back the expressions of the jealousy; the continuous repression simply defers the explosion and makes the next outbreak more disastrous. Jealousy must be killed in the thought. In the mind, the battle-ground of the soul, must the fight of extermination be waged. In the thought must the jealousy be neutralized by faith, conquered by justice, and transformed by trustful love into a restful abiding confidence that only absolute proof and certainty of just cause can ever reawaken. ["When the Family Interferes" will be discussed in the next number of this series.] Liberty of the Press BY JAMES H. ANDERSON, OF THE GENERAL BOARD Y. M. M. I. A. [This article amplifies the 16th lesson in the 1912-13 Manual, and will be of interest to all Manual students as well as to general readers. — The Editors.] "Liberty" and "Freedom." — "Freedom of the Press" and "Liberty of the Press" are nearly synonymous terms when used in referring to conditions in the United States. But there is a definite measure of distinction when the reference includes conditions in other countries. The words "Liberty" and "Freedom," though often interchanged and interchangeable, yet are quite distinct in some of their applications. The liberty of the press is the free right of publishing books, pamphlets, or newspapers, without previous restraint or censorship, subject only to punishment for libelous, seditious, contemptuous, or morally pernicious matters. "Liberty" has reference to previous restraint, "Freedom" to the simple, unrepressed exercise of our powers. Thus, the liberty of the press which has been gained through generations of effort is the greatest security to the present generation for freedom of thought. To avoid confusion, however slight, and because of this distinction, the term Liberty of the Press is used here, except when a quotation is made which contains the expression Freedom of the Press. Our Guaranty of Freedom. — The First Amendment to the Constitution of the United States directs that "Congress shall make no law * * * * abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press." The Constitution of the State of Utah declares that "All men have the inherent inalienable right * * * * to communicate freely their thoughts and opinions, being responsible for the abuse of that right," and also provides that "No law shall be passed to abridge the freedom of speech or of the press." LIBERTY OF THE PRESS 155 General Definition. — In the United States and other countries where the liberty of the press is given its widest scope, the term is held to mean that publication may be made regarding all matters of thought or action to an extent that does not interfere with the necessary functions of government or the secured rights of individuals. In those countries where there is more or less restriction beyond this definite point, it is held that liberty of the press may not be exercised to the extent of interfering with the policy of the government, domestic or foreign, hence the definition varies as that policy is liberal or restrictive. Thus the limitations (in the first part of the definition just given) from an absolutely unrepressed freedom which, under ordinary human weakness, would amount to an abusable license, are substantially these : (a) Under the restriction of Copyright, an author is secured, for a limited time, in the exclusive right of publishing and dispensing his own writings. (b) Under the restriction of Libel, wrong may not be imputed by the press to a public official or a private individual, except upon the basis of truth and good motive in publication, as the imputation would be an infringement upon the sacred right of character. "Where vituperation begins the liberty of the press ends." (c) Under the restriction of Contempt of Court, the press may not comment upon cases sub judice in a way that interferes with the proper administration of justice. (d) Under the restriction of Police Power, publications may not be indecent or offensive to good morals, nor incite to violations of the criminal law. Legal and Popular Definitions. — In countries where the widest liberty is enjoyed by the press, the legal and popular definitions of the term are identical, as hereinbefore set forth. In other countries where the laws are more restrictive, the legal definition is correspondingly restrictive from that hereinbefore stated, while the popular definition retains the broader scope. The Press. — This term includes all writings, publications or printing used by, or intended to be within access of, any consid-