--- title: Improvement Era description: Monthly periodical of the Mormon church, 1897 onward. This library holds the issues of November 1897 to December 1930. authors: - Anderson, Nephi collections: - periodicals tags: - magazine - improvement-era periodical: Improvement Era volume: 9 number: 6 published: 1906-04 publisher: Young Men’s Mutual Improvement Associations publisher_place: Salt Lake City language: en type: magazine reference: 'Nephi Anderson, "The Freedom of Donald Gray," *Improvement Era* 9, no. 6 (April 1906): 484–492.' source: url: https://archive.org/details/improvementera0906unse transcription: Transcribed from the Internet Archive scan of each issue (the item for each issue is named in the issue's own source); unnumbered advertising leaves are omitted, printed page numbers are kept as page markers. identifier: improvementera0906unse start_page: 484 end_page: 492 rights: status: public-domain basis: US publication 1930 or earlier (published 1906-04) source: https://archive.org/details/improvementera0906unse publication_year: 1906 note: The Internet Archive item metadata carries a blanket "© Copyright by Intellectual Reserve, Inc." notice. The library owner judged it inapplicable because this issue was published in 1906, before 1931; a scan-level notice does not restore copyright. --- # The Freedom of Donald Gray THE FREEDOM OF DONALD GRAY. BY NEPHI ANDERSON, ASSOCIATE EDITOR OF THE "MILLENNIAL STAR," AND AUTHOR OF "ADDED UPON." The spirit of the whole blatant rally had entered into the verybeing of Donald Gray. The music of the bands, the weird glare of the torches, the rhythmic tread of the marchers, the loud hurrahs, the tooting of the horns, formed a medley of sights and sounds that took the young man's nature by storm, and seemed to hold him in fascinating captivity. Donald followed the crowds towards the hall where the speeches were to be made, but before he reached the door he met Jim Fisher, a friend whom he had not seen for some time. "Hello, Don," exclaimed Jim. "Pleased to see you. How are you? Going to the rally?" "Yes; I thought I'd go to see what it's like." "Have you never been to a rally before?" "Not to a Liberal rally." "Well, you have missed half your life. We know how to whoop 'em up. None of your tame, preachy meetings for us. — Say, hold on a minute. Let's not go in yet; let's go up to the corner first. ' ' The two young men went up the street to the corner where there was a saloon. From within came the sound of clinking glasses, and the general din which is characteristic of such places, on nights when business is good. ' 'Come in and have a drink, Don. ' ' As I have said, Donald Gray was under the influence of the rally, which influence had a tendency towards the corner saloon; and now, added to this was the coaxing of an old-time friend. He would go in, but would not drink. THE FREEDOM OF DONALD GRAY. ■ 485 Donald had been in a saloon before. He, therefore, experienced none of those new and strange sensations which boys do — and men also — on their first visit to a dram shop. The air was full of rank tobacco smoke and the smell of beer. "I'll not drink," said Donald, "so I'll just sit here and wait for you." His friend urged, but Donald resisted. In fact, there was no great temptation for him in either beer or whiskey; but the tobacco-laden air got into his nostrils and into his lungs, and the insidious aroma played upon the appetite for tobacco which he had once acquired. When his friend came back from the bar and handed him a cigar, he accepted it, and also the proffered light, as they went out together. The rally was in progress when they entered the hall. A candidate for office was addressing the meeting. ' 'Fellow citizens," he said, ' Vote the Liberal ticket, and register a protest against ecclesiastical rule, and the power of a priesthood which prevents you from being free men and women." The speaker's words came ringing and clear. He modulated 'his tones nicely, and his audience followed closely what he said. "Be free men and women," he pleaded. "Dare to vote your honest convictions. Come out from under tyrannical. priestcraft, and place yourselves in harmony with the spirit of .the great Republic which protects you and gives to you the greatest, the freest, the best government on earth." "That's good stuff," said Jim Fisher to his friend. "Better consider these things, Don, and not allow the bishop to lead you by the nose all your life." Donald was considering. In fact, this was not the first time his thoughts had been along the lines dwelt upon by the speaker. It was only last week that the bishop who, though he had never interfered in his politics, had called on him to talk about certain neglected duties, and the young man had not received the bishop's counsel in the best of moods. . He had listened quietly, it is true, but this was more in deference to the feelings of his wife than respect for the bishop and his advice. In his heart he had said, ' 'I wish he would go home and mind his own business." Spiritually, Donald Gray was in a bad way, and attending 486 IMPROVEMENT ERA. political rallies of the kind in progress that night did not mend that way. It was not a pleasant mood that came over him that night, as he sat listening to the arraignment of those jvhom he had been taught to love and respect. About eleven o'clock the meeting closed, and Don and his friend went back to the corner. Donald would not go in again, but said goodnight, and went up the street to where his horse stood hitched to a post, his head drooping in a tired way. TheTyoung man unfastened the bridle, leaped into the saddle, and was soon galloping out of town towards his home, out on the wide flat, five miles away. The night air was cold, and it was colder yet when he reached the low marshes which skirted the road. His horse was impatient to be home, so no urging was needed. The moon was bright overhead, and the snow-decked tops of the distant mountains in front of him shone clearly against the deep blue of the sky. Donald Gray sat on his galloping horse with the grace of a perfect horseman. Coming to the bars of the pasture, the rider alighted, let down the bars, led his horse through, put the poles up again, and then rode on to the house. The dog gave first a defiant bark, and then a welcome whine. The door of ihe house opened, and in the lamp-light stood a young woman. She put her hand up to her eyes, and peered out into the night. "Is that you, Don?" she said. "Yes;" he replied, "I'll put up my horse and then come in — but perhaps I'd better do the chores first." "The chores are done, Don. Put up your horse and come in. " "But, Barby, you haven't done the chores?" ' 'But I have, I tell you. I milked all the cows but Kicking Brindle, and she can wait until morning. Come in, your supper is waiting for you." The horse was cared for, and then Donald went into the house. A little two-roomed log house it was, with mud chinking between the logs, and a covering of clay for the roof. The house was shabby' enough from without, but within it was cozy and bright — and that the brightness radiated from the young wife who had it in keeping, was plain enough to see. "What made you stay up so late waiting for me?" asked Don- THE FREEDOM OF DONALD GRAY. 487 aid, as lie "hung his coat on a nail behind the door, and then proceeded to wash. "You never will do as I tell you about going to bed, whenever I happen to be late. " "It is late, isn't it?" she replied, looking at the clock which was on the stroke of twelve, and bringing his supper from the •oven to the table. ' 'But you see, Don, I knew you would be hungry, and neither you nor I like to eat alone, so I have waited for .you — and then, Don, somehowj could not go to bed tonight without my good- night kiss. " He was standing in front of the glass combing his hair. She went up to him, laid her hands on his shoulders, and peeped playfully into the glass. "What have I done?" she asked softly. He turned. "Well, I didn't kiss you when I came in, did I? There! Forgive me for my forgetfulness." ' 'Don, dear, it wasn't forgetfulness. ' ' "What do you mean?" "No; you did not forget, but you were afraid — -afraid I would smell the odor of tobacco on your coat, or detect tobacco back of the peppermint which you have been eating." She stood, with her arms on his shoulders, looking up into his face. She was as beautiful a woman as he was a handsome man. There was an expression of care in her face, tonight, and the large, clear eyes were not free from tears. Donald did not reply, though he was annoyed at her unerring statement of the truth. He removed her hands, and then went over in the corner where a baby lay sleeping in a tiny bed. The wife went back to the table and sat down. "Come, Don, and eat your supper," she said. He came and asked the blessing, and then ate in silence. The baby showed signs of waking, and the mother went softly back and forth. "Baby isn't well," she said. "She cried nearly all evening. I fear she caught cold last Sunday when we went to meeting." "You might have taken my advice and stayed at home, "he said, in a not very pleasant tone. Then both ate quietly for some time. "Was it an interesting rally?" she enquired. 488 IMPROVEMENT ERA. "It was the biggest thing I ever saw," said he, with a little more animation. "There were some fine music, and grand speeches." "What was the talk about?" "Well, of course, there were arguments to prove that everybody ought to vote the Liberal ticket. Some things were shown up in fine shape, I tell you. I think myself that a change of administration would be a good thing." "But the Liberal party is composed of apostates, and 'Mormon'- haters, is it not?" "Nonsense, dear, they're not bad, at all. They are a jolly lot of fellows, and I think I shall vote with them at the next election." "Donald!" "I am about tired of the old bishop's domination, and all this talk about obeying the priesthood. "Don, don't talk like that. You frighten me." "Well, Barby, I mean it. I don't believe that church officers should dabble either in politics or other people's business so much. I like freedom." He finished his supper, and then pushed his chair around to the stove where there was yet a glow of fire. Then he took a cigar from his pocket and held it up to the lamp that his wife might see it. "You have found me out," said he. "Have you any objections to my smoking this?" She arose from the table and went to him. He drew her down on his knee and looked into her face, from which the rosiness had nearly all departed. "I'll confess," he went on with a forced laugh, "I've been smoking today, and I would like to smoke this cigar now, but I won't if you say not." "I shall not say not," she replied, speaking slowly. "You, Donald Gray, are free to do as you please. You may smoke if you like, but once upon a time you promised me that you would not. You have broken that promise once, which makes it much easier to break the second time." He threw the cigar into the fire. THE FREEDOM OF DONALD GRAY. 489 "You act so strangely, tonight," she said, as she put her arms up over his shoulders. "What can be the matter with you?" "There is nothing the matter with me, dear girl." "Don, have I done anything to displease you? Are you losing your love for me, too?" "Well, you are a little goose. I love you more than anything else in this world." "And you want me for your wife always— always? Remember, that's a long time. " Not any too long for me, dear. ' ' " Then, if you love me and want me forever, don't do as you have tonight — as you have done for some time past. " "I don't understand what difference that can make to us, and our love for each other." "Listen, Don; you say that you love me, and I believe you. I love you, too. Do you remember that I refused to marry you until it could be done properly in the Temple?" "Yes, I remember." "Do you know why I refused?" "I don't think you went into any detailed explanations at the time, I suppose it was a little stubbornness. You know, little woman, that sometimes you are quite — quite firm." "It was not stubbornness. It was something else." There was a little sob in her voice, now, which his caressing could not check. "What was it, Barby?" 1 'It was because I loved you too much to marry you for this life only. I loved you so much, Don, that I wanted you for time and all eternity. I wanted to be sure of you. Then, you remember, when you went away in that angry way — you said something then also about being free — and I thought I had lost you. But you came back to me, and, after a time, we went into the Temple, and there the authority of the Priesthood, remember, dear, the authority of the Priesthood, bound us together for time and eternity. And oh, the beautiful blessings that were promised us if we were faithful — promised to you, to me, and to our children!" "You talk as though I was ready to apostatize. The gospel 490 IMPROVEMENT ERA. is true enough. I am only objecting to being bossed so much. I want to do as I please." "I don't want you to do anything that would separate us." "Fear not. Nothing shall ever come between us." "Don, do you know who gave you to me?" "Well, dear, I— why-" "And do you know who gave me to you?" "I asked your father, certainly, but—" "I don't mean that. Don, the Lord gave you to me, and me to you, and the Lord can take away his gifts." "Well, dear." "Listen. If you sympathize with and follow after evil-minded men, they will lead you out of the Church — yes, out from under the Priesthood, out where they tell you men are free — and free to do what? Free to sin. Don, I have been thinking about it all the evening, and I can see nothing ahead of us but something terrible, if you persist in your course." She clung to him; and he felt her hands tremble. He saw that she was suffering, and his heart went out to her; yet he found it difficult to speak. "What have your new-found friends to give you?" she continued. "The world, perchance, with riches and honor; but after that, what? Answer me, Don, with all the glory of the world — will even the religion of the world give me to you forever? And you say you love me, and would have me for your wife always. . . . You do not answer me, for you know that there is no power in the world nor in its religions that extends beyond the grave. Oh, the blessed Priesthood that can and does do more than that!" Donald was dumb before the intense tone of her voice, and the burning fervor of her words, and he could do nothing but hold her firmly, and look into her beautiful, pale face. There was a tumult of emotion in his heart, and from out that tumult he could not get one thought clear enough for expression in words. Presently, the wife arose, went over to the baby, tucked down the coverlet, and touched the soft cheek lightly with her lips. Then she went back to her husband who had arisen and gone to the door for his hat. THE FREEDOM OF DONALD GRAY. 491 "Donald"— she nearly whispered the words— "you said you wanted to be free Well, if you have no more use for the Church or for the gospel, with its divine institutions, its blessed promises, its sweet assurances and eternal covenants, then, of course, it will be nothing to you if we are no longer husband and wife in the great world beyond Then you will indeed be free from baby, and free from me." As he did not reply to her words, she left him standing by the door and went back to the little bed, which she lifted, baby and all, and carried into the next room. "I'll give the horse a drink, and then I'll be back," he said. He went out into the yard, led his horse to the ditch for a drink, took him back to the stable, and threw some hay into the manger. He lingered around the hay stack. The moon had disappeared behind the hill, and the stars were shining brightly in the cold autumn sky. The sharp cry of a coyote, not far distant, reminded him that he had better see if the chicken-house door was well closed, but he found this, as well as all the other chores well done by Barbara. Yes, and Barbara had not been used to this rough, hard work. Yet she had never murmured at her lot, nor at her life out there on the dry sage-brush flat, many miles from the nearest neighbor, but she had entered with heart and soul into her plan to subdue the desert. The truth came forcibly to him, as it had not come before, that Barbara had been the main source from which he had drawn his inspiration and strength. She had helped him in many ways by her untiring efforts for his comfort, by her cheerful disposition, her well-controlled temper, and by her strong, spiritual nature which looked past the humble present to better things. She had laid her heart bare to him that night as she had never done before. Her pleading words rang in his ears — her pleadings for a continuation of his love, not only for a few brief years of mortality, but throughout the eternities. And now that he thought of it, what had she not done for him? And he, what had he done or said to her in return for the priceless treasures of her heart that she had so lavishly given to him? When the Spirit of the Lord pricks the heart, and the kind admonition is heeded, there comes a turning point in life. Some 492 IMPROVEMENT ERA. people call this experience a "new birth, " some "conversion," and others "being saved." Call it what we will, it is simply the whisperings of the Lord's good Spirit to our souls. Donald Gray that night was pricked in his heart. He went into the house softly, that he might not awaken the baby. He took off his boots and placed them near the stoveThen he went to the bedroom door which was partly open, and looked into the room. The baby lay sleeping in its cot by the bed. The lamp on the table cast a subdued light over the snow-white bed, and the figure of Barbara kneeling by it. Her hair hung from the shapely head in a long braid down the white gown. Her face was buried in the coverlet as she prayed. Donald stood in the doorway looking at the vision of loveliness before him. She seemed to be unconscious of his presence, and went on with her prayers. He stepped closer, and he heard the murmur of her lips. Then she looked at him with a little start, and arose to her feet. "Barby, " he said simply and earnestly, "can you, will you forgive me?" The color came back to her cheeks, as he held her close to him; and she gave him a kiss, for her answer. "Then, if I have your forgiveness, I may also ask the same boon of the Lord. Come, dear, it is my turn tonight." With hands clasped tightly together, they knelt beside the bed. The shaded lamp cast a mellow light over the little cot, over the white coverlet, and over the two bowed heads. In the 1 continual struggle for freedom, these two had once more won. Liverpool, England.