--- title: Improvement Era description: Monthly periodical of the Mormon church, 1897 onward. This library holds the issues of November 1897 to December 1930. authors: - Susa Young Gates collections: - periodicals tags: - magazine - improvement-era periodical: Improvement Era volume: 8 number: 10 published: 1905-08 publisher: Young Men’s Mutual Improvement Associations publisher_place: Salt Lake City language: en type: magazine reference: 'Susa Young Gates, "A Mother’s Letters to Her Missionary Son. VI," *Improvement Era* 8, no. 10 (August 1905): 735–739.' source: url: https://archive.org/details/improvementera0810unse transcription: Transcribed from the Internet Archive scan of each issue (the item for each issue is named in the issue's own source); unnumbered advertising leaves are omitted, printed page numbers are kept as page markers. identifier: improvementera0810unse start_page: 735 end_page: 739 rights: status: public-domain basis: US publication 1930 or earlier (published 1905-08) source: https://archive.org/details/improvementera0810unse publication_year: 1905 note: The Internet Archive item metadata carries a blanket "© Copyright by Intellectual Reserve, Inc." notice. The library owner judged it inapplicable because this issue was published in 1905, before 1931; a scan-level notice does not restore copyright. --- # A Mother’s Letters to Her Missionary Son. VI A MOTHER'S LETTERS TO HER MISSIONARY SON. EDITED BY SUSA YOUNG GATES. VI.— OBEDIENCE TO UNWELCOME AUTHORITY. My Dear Son Daniel: — I see from your last letter that you are located in your field of labor, and that you are already busily engaged in your new calling. I could see, in fancy, the small room which you and your companion occupy; the extremely plain fare with which your physical wants are supplied, and could feel a part of the loneliness which will, perhaps, be yours from time to time. You will be glad that you have learned a few of the arts of housekeeping, which are supposed to belong solely to the weaker sex. Your little knowledge of light cooking will stand you in good stead. Let me suggest to you that you force yourself to be as tidy, about what housework you have to do, as you have always been in the care of your person. There is no reason why a man, who is obliged occasionally to wash dishes, should leave the dish rag a filthy, disease-breeding wad, any more than that a woman should do so. Your intelligence will teach you how to do things properly, if you will exercise that intelligence, and your strong muscles will enable you to accomplish what task you have to perform with far less effort and fatigue than is usual to the woman who does the same amount of work. These are trifles, but trifles make up our lives. It is as necessary that you should be faithful in small matters as it is that you should perform great labors. And now, I wish to speak to you about your labors in the field. 736 IMPROVEMEm ERA.. You tell me that you have been sent out with a man much older than yourself, from a distant, country town in Arizona. I think I was a little wounded with the spirit which breathed through this statement of yours. Age can be no objection, and it is a fact that the trials of life in Arizona make first-class Latter-day Saints. I was very pleased to learn that you had been privileged to travel with an older man, instead of being sent out with a man of your own age. It is natural for youth, in all the world, to fancy itself all-sufficient unto itself; arid when youth is asked to pay deference to an age which has neither education nor cultured advantages, wherewith to command respect, then, indeed, there comes either friction or experience — sometimes both. I infer from what you say that your companion has had little schooling and less money, but all the more is this a grand opportunity for you to > show the material of which you are made. Every man who has lived out forty years upon the earth has learned some things which a youth of twenty cannot possibly know, and more than all this, you must remember that in this Church and Kingdom you pay deference to the priesthood which a man holds, rather than to the man himself. There are two distinct principles connected with this matter which I wish you would deeply consider. The first is the principle of true independence. It is not unusual for a young man to feel that his best chance for independence consists primarily in rebellion; and, secondarily, in the destruction of ideals and even of people. The Nihilist, like the Socialist, considers himself the bravest and fairest man on earth. He first rebels against all possible authorities, social, political, and religious ;and then, not content with simply announcing his personal rebellion, he tries to destroy the settled opinions of everybody with whom he comes in contact, and at last reaches a place where he would destroy the liberties and lives of men in power, to carry out his own peculiar notions of liberty. "Let us scourge out all governments and all forms of organized societies," says the "and then, perhaps, when we have Nihilist, reduced everything to chaos, we can build up a common life of brotherhood which will meet our own particular ideas of happiness and pleasure." I do not wish to enter into this argument to any extent, al- A MOTHER'S LETTERS TO HER MISSIONARY SON. Til though I hope you yourself will think about it very deeply. But the dangerous watch-cry of "liberty, courage, and bravery" is the slogan which this doctrine of Nihilism sounds in the ear of thoughtless youth and reckless maturity. The thing which women most admire in man is bravery, courage, daring. But courage is as much akin to hardihood as tinsel is to gold. The cowboy who goes raging through a town, popping off his pistol at every angle of his flight, is as much a type of liberty and freedom as is the dangerous Nihilist in his flight through society. The bully who dares every small boy to fight, and who puts himself in all sorts of seemingly dangerous positions, to frighten or to awe his victim, shows about as much real bravery as do some of your loud-mouthed apostates from good government, good society, and good religion. Dismiss from your mind, at once, the idea that you will ever show any true bravery in either rebellion or foolhardiness. It requires more courage, manhood, absolute independence of spirit, to be obedient to unwelcome authority and counsel than it does to face cannon balls or flaming fires. Your father here interrupts my letter, and wishes me to tell you, on this subject, that bravery consists in doing things when you are afraid to do them. He says you were truly brave when you, as a boy, rode down the lonely canyon at midnight to get medicine for your sick aunt, for then you were afraid, and had cause to be; but you were a coward when you frightened your timid, nervous sister. Independence is better manifested in doing the things we dislike to do, than in doing that which is easy and pleasant to do. It takes a brave man to be a Latter-day Saint. He must be steeled to the abuse of his enemies, and too often, to the amusement and ridicule of his friends. It is a sweet and gracious quality of spirit which enables a man to render obedience to unwelcome authority, and such obedience brings a peace which is never known to the spirit which always dominates and rules. All the elements of peace and happiness, in the world about us, lie at the root of this principle. Once for all, learn this: that wherever you go in life, whatever your station, whether in the Church or not, whether high or low, rich or poor, you will always have to be obedient to some unwelcome authority above you. It may be political, social, civil,or religious; this authority may change its name, condition, and numbers: but it will always be there to test you, to try you, and to make things disagreeable. There is one way in which you can get away from this tormenting influence, and that is to live above it. The way to keep out of the courts of justice is to live above the law; that is, not to treat the law with contempt, but to respect it, and render obedience to it. Sometimes a misunderstanding arises, and sometimes those above you will chide you and correct you, when they are wrong and you are in the right; that would be your time of testing. Can you learn to obey that authority without ugliness and without malice ? It is a bit of wisdom, appropriated now by the Christian Scientists, but first of all preached by the dear Master: "Flee from temptation; and overcome evil with good." If you are tested and tried with petty authority, try and conquer it with love and charity. Keep out of the way of temptation as much as you can. Fill your mind with good thoughts; and, above all else, ask the Lord sincerely and earnestly to turn the heart of your companion in kindness to you. Then look into your own heart and see if your masterful ways, and little airs of assumption, do not antagonize and annoy your superior officer. Not all great men are called to high positions in this Church and Kingdom, but certain it is, that no man, however great may be his capacities, will ever be put in charge of responsibilities until he has shown fully and completely his willingness to be led and guided by those over him. The second principle which I wish you to consider, is the power which you gain (through obedience to unwelcome authority) to conYou know all about the wise saying in trol other intelligences. regard to a man having power to control himself first, before he can govern others. He may dictate to them, he may "drive" them without ever having learned this lesson; but he will never govern them, nor really control them. With a little gentleness on your part, and a grave, sincere deference to the superior age of your companion, you can soon govern yourself, and teach others to pay him the same respect which you yourself show. A little gentle sympathy on your part, and a strong desire to help, in every way possible, will soon win the love and confidence of your superior .4 MOTHERS LETTERS TO HER MISSIONARY SON. 739 officer. So many brilliant minds among us are hampered and kept back, in their life work, because of arrogance and too apparent superiority. A man does not resent superior intelligence in another man, unless the fact is rubbed into him in a boastful way. Inferiority will respect superiority, if the superior intelligence possesses both brilliancy and wisdom. The only power that a superior mind should really seek is the power to make others, less favored, happily unconscious of any difference between the two. You are at ease at once in the presence of a true gentleman, no matter how crude your own manners may be. So any intelligence will be at ease in the presence of a truly wise and great man. There is a very private matter I wish to call your attention to. After you left home, for some time, your friend Mattie was very faithful in her visits to our house, and in directing inquiries as to your welfare. This last month, however, she has practically remained away, and I have been obliged to notice some things which I would not speak about if I did not fear it was necessary for you to know them. I am of the opinion that she is fast forgetting any attachment she may have formed for you. There is nothing to find fault with in this, and nothing unnatural; but I wish to put you upon your guard, in relation to this, so that you may be prepared for whatever may come. The girls are both writing to you today, and, no doubt, you will get ail the gosippy details of the fact I herein mention. Mattie is a very good girl, know of no better: but if she is not the one I for you, surely you do not want her. More of this, however, in my next letter. If Mattie does not love you, certainly there is one to whom you are the dearest, sweetest, and best, and that is your Mother. Salt Lake City, Utah.