--- title: Improvement Era description: Monthly periodical of the Mormon church, 1897 onward. This library holds the issues of November 1897 to December 1930. authors: - Gates, Susa Young collections: - periodicals tags: - magazine - improvement-era periodical: Improvement Era volume: 8 number: 5 published: 1905-03 publisher: Young Men’s Mutual Improvement Associations publisher_place: Salt Lake City language: en type: magazine reference: 'Susa Young Gates, "A Mother’s Letters to Her Missionary Son. II—Letter Posted to Chicago," *Improvement Era* 8, no. 5 (March 1905): 352–357.' source: url: https://archive.org/details/improvementera0805unse transcription: Transcribed from the Internet Archive scan of each issue (the item for each issue is named in the issue's own source); unnumbered advertising leaves are omitted, printed page numbers are kept as page markers. identifier: improvementera0805unse start_page: 352 end_page: 357 rights: status: public-domain basis: US publication 1930 or earlier (published 1905-03) source: https://archive.org/details/improvementera0805unse publication_year: 1905 note: The Internet Archive item metadata carries a blanket "© Copyright by Intellectual Reserve, Inc." notice. The library owner judged it inapplicable because this issue was published in 1905, before 1931; a scan-level notice does not restore copyright. --- # A Mother’s Letters to Her Missionary Son. II—Letter Posted to Chicago A MOTHER'S LETTERS TO HER MISSIONARY SON. EDITED BY SUSA YOUNG GATES. II.—LETTER POSTED TO CHICAGO. My dear son Daniel.—Your card written and posted the first day out has just reached us, and has been read many times. Father read it again and again to make sure there was nothing left out by me; of course, it was also taken by the whole family over to grandma's, and we talked, laughed, and guessed where you were then, and what you were doing. You are a very important person to us now, for you not only represent the Church, you also carry the name and honor of the whole family in your strong, young hand. If you do well you will not only reflect honor on the Church and your own self, but your parents also will share in that reflected light. This is not altogether just, for some youths who do ill have had as careful nurture and admonition as those who do well. It is true, your spirit is eternal, and had its identity and individuality before the world was; all that your parents have done or that any parents can do, has been and is to furnish good environments and the best opportunities for education possible to us and our conditions. The rest lies with you; and just or unjust, the world will censure or piaise us, your parents, in proportion as you do well or ill. So now, dear herald of righteousness, go forward in peace, and remember the loved ones at home. There are several small items I wish to mention: there was a little flurry at your starting on the train, and mother spoke rather A MOTHER'S LETTERS TO HER MISSIONARY SON. 353 sharply to you because you were inclined to grumble about your not being able to take a sleeper. You are city-bred, my son, and have been reared in a comfortable home; and this fact may often be a drawback to you. Your father has spent so many nights on the far-off hills, alone, with but the bark of the coyotes for company and his saddle for a pillow, that he thought your velvet-cushioned seat was a splendid place for a night's rest. I, too, have lain many nights on the ground, in the early days of Utah, as we traveled to and fro; and I am glad, now, that I have had all such experiences. Never complain at circumstances; first, because it is useless; and, second, because they are provided especially for your trial and, therefore, for your development. I know you will not complain alone, but I want you to conquer the complaining thought, and thus establish a habit of cheerful acceptance of every day's trials and circumstances. Under no other conditions can you so quickly learn other people's true characters as in traveling. So, too, you show plainly all your own homely virtues, as well as any faults which may be yours. Don't "grizzle!" When we were all in London attending the great International Council there, we went to the beautiful reception given by the Duchess of Sutherland. One of the sisters wanted to order the cab to come back for us at a certain time, but she was overruled. Result: at the close of the reception, everybody's carriage rolled up to that immense marble-pillared porch, and the "Marchioness of Chesterfield's carriage," "Countess Baltersea's carriage," "Miss Susan B. Anthony's carriage," and so on, were called out by the powdered, velvet-clad footmen, while our own party stood under the brilliant glare of the lights waiting and waiting until the very last before we could timidly ask if there were any cabs to be hired. As we stood restlessly waiting for over an hour, the good lady whose suggestion, if followed, would have averted this disaster, remarked gloomily, from time to time, "I wish you folks had let me order the cab to come back." Sister M , who was one of the party, turned on her at last and said, somewhat sharply, "Don't 'grizzle'!" Then she related this story: her husband was traveling with a party of English gentlemen, and, like the American that he was, 354 IMPRO VEMENT ERA. fretted if the trains were late, or if they were early, stewed and fussed over the trifling discomforts of traveling, all so augmented in Europe by the slow and tedious methods in vogue there. Finally one of the gentlemen turned to him and said in his slow emphatic way: "Don't 'grizzle,' Mr. M ! you spoil half the pleasure in life when you 'grizzle'!" So, don't "grizzle!" If trains are late, or are missed; if you have to hurry or if you have to wait for hours; if you have too much food and have to throw it away, or too little and therefore have to buy some; if there are sleepers to be had or none; if your letters are posted or if they are not; no matter what may happen, don't "grizzle" nor grumble. Keep cool, calm, and, above all things, be obliging. If the crowd want to go one place, and your preference is for another, don't try to force them to go your way, nor "grizzle" all the time if you decide to go theirs, rather than to go off alone. One of the girls who was in London had a fur cape given to her by Sister M because she never "grizzled" when we were traveling. If we wanted to go to London Bridge, she was agreeable and didn't scold because we were not going to Westminster Abbey. If we wanted to sit on top of the bus, she agreed and didn't sit sulkily in the inside. So, be agreeable and obliging, even if you are never rewarded with a fur cape. Your good manners, good nature, and all your Christian qualities, will be tried while traveling, but be on your guard and remember you are a gentleman and the son of a gentleman. Speaking of going "with the crowd" reminds me that you will be in Chicago, when you receive this letter. I presume you will go, first of all, to the headquarters of the mission there; the President will make you welcome, I am sure, and you will enjoy the little respite from car-travel. No doubt, you would like a bath while there; but be cautious how you trespass upon the hospitality of the brethren. Remember there are hundreds calling/there, all as weary, as- hungry, and as needy as you are. Soap costs money, towels must be washed, food paid for, stamps are expensive in the long run and some one must do the work. If you put them to any expense, leave at least money enough to pay for what you have used and eaten. Put yourself out to help the one who does the work, whether it be man or woman, and do be sure, my son, to A MOTHER'S LETTERS TO HER MISSIONARY SON. 355 thank those who have obliged and served you. Even our Father in Heaven is displeased with us when we are ungrateful; and the least you can do, if you have had help and entertainment, is to thank your host or hostess, with your hearty hand-shake and your friendly good-bye. This, you know, is good manners, and good manners, aLter all, are but the expression of a good heart. And then "the crowd" will all want to go out sight-seeing. I shall write to you at length on the matter of sight-seeing, but I want to mention it for a moment here; there are many things to be seen in a large city, and most of them are well worth the time and effort needed to see them. But sight-seeing is like any other branch of education: you can not learn all in one course in college, nor can you see all in one day's or month's visit to a great city. So, what will you do? Just as you would do if you were about to take a course in college; you would get a catalogue and carefully examine the courses offered, and then choose those studies best adapted to your needs and conditions. Therefore, read the little guide book to Chicago given you by your sister, and study carefully the sights most worth your visit. You may have a whole day in Chicago there. And there are picture galleries, the beautiful Lincoln park, high buildings, especially the Masonic Temple, great stores like Marshall Field's, a drive on the Lake Shore front, the magnificent Auditorium, and the great pork-packing establishments. No doubt most of the young men will vote to go to the pork-packing houses; some are farmers and stock-men, and the sight of such an immense industry is interesting, if not very entertaining. But as for you, throw all your influence in another direction. There is so much that is better to see, so many places that are of themselves a liberal education to visit, that I should begrudge your time spent so uselessly. You and I do not eat pork anyway, for we cannot forget the teachings of the Prophet Brigham Young and, therefore, we have very little interest in hogs, and, too, you and I both know that our brains can only harbor one thought at a time, and our memories receive but one impression; so we are anxious to have that thought and that image a pure and an elevating one. Do you recall the poet's admonition, "you may never pass that way again," so, make the best possible use of every hour spent in a large city. Now, again, you will say, "Well, 356 IMPRO VEMENT ERA. 'the crowd' wanted to go there, mother!" All right, go. If you can't get them to see the better things, don't be sulky nor contrary, but go quietly along with the crowd. There is nothing bad or vicious in pork-packing, it is only wasted time to see it done. But there may come a time in your missionary life, when you cannot go with "the crowd." For the majority are not always right- As a rule, it is safe to go with the majority, but sometimes it becomes a real danger, and it is this learning to discriminate between people, things and circumstances, that gives you wisdom and discretion. Therefore, let this be a little guide to you: when the majority is led by those having proper authority, you are perfectly safe in following that lead. And speaking of authority, I will want to write you a whole letter on that subject; for you will have some trial and experiences in that, I am quite sure. Arrangements will be made for your party to visit Niagara Falls, for Brother S , at the President's office, is very kind and thoughtful about all such matters, and provides ample opportunities for all missionary parties to see the great sights, wherever possible. You will have to change depots at Buffalo, I presume, to get your local car which will take you from Buffalo to the Falls. You will also find a luncheon-stand there, but the food is very expensive at such places. It is much better for one of your party— and why not you—to go out and find a bakery where you can get some bread, butter, cakes and fruit. Don't be ashamed to do these things, nor to eat your improvised luncheon wherever it is allowable. If you are careful and neat in all your movements and in your eating, no matter what the food may be, nor where you may eat it, no one will fail to see that you are a gentleman. Then, when you get into a car, act as seemly and modest as you would at home. Always offer your seat to a lady, although this is not commonly done in the east nor in Europe; but God made men stronger than women, that men should protect and care for their dependent ones, and a woman is to be shielded and protected, whoever she may be. Don't spread out your things over two seats, if the car is at all full, and always be ready to give up graciously the vacant seat beside you to man or woman who may need it. When you reach the Falls, cabmen and hackmen will loudly A MOTHER'S LETTERS TO HER MISSIONARY SON. 357 call your attention and tell you how necessary it is for you to ride; but the Falls are not far away, and you can easily walk. Leave your valise at a check-stand, if you have not already done so, and go out to see one of the most magnificent wonders of the world. Don't try to buy trinkets or souvenirs. You must be careful of your money; but don't be too close, on the other hand. Don't try to stay too closely with "the crowd, " when once in the park. Appoint a time and place where you can all meet, and then separate, at least into groups of two or three; you will all enjoy it much better. Don't try to go under the Falls, as it is a snare and a delusion; but go down the toboggan train slide to the river below the Falls. Walk over the bridge to the Canada side,and expect to pay duty if you have been extravagant enough to buy trinkets over there and come back to the United States side. Sit down on some convenient bridge or rosk, and let the majasty and glory about you enter into your whole soul, until you feel drenched with its beauty, Don't talk too much nor race about, or you will lose half the pleasure and all of the detailed memory of the Falls. Let the image of that river plunging into seeming eternity bring to your heart the image of that great and mighty One who conceived and designed this earth and its glories. In that crushing, ceaseless roar, let the still, small voice whisper to you, "Peace, my soul, be still! God has created thee and me, and he holds us both in the hollow of his right hand!" This memory will come many times to soothe and calm your troubled spirit, with its deep significance and changeless power. I will have a letter ready for you in Boston, where you take ship to sail the high seas. I have much to say, for am I not your mother? The family are all well. Mattie has been up twice to see the girls; she was too modest to ask if we had received word from you, but I guessed her desire, and got out your card, and read it to her. She says they miss you in the If. I. A. I have no doubt she misses you. We all do; but you are out in battle array, and our soldier will not desert his flag, nor his country, nor his religion. Always, your loving Mother. Salt Lake City, Utah.