--- title: Improvement Era description: Monthly periodical of the Mormon church, 1897 onward. This library holds the issues of November 1897 to December 1930. authors: - Gates, Susa Young collections: - periodicals tags: - magazine - improvement-era periodical: Improvement Era volume: 8 number: 4 published: 1905-02 publisher: Young Men’s Mutual Improvement Associations publisher_place: Salt Lake City language: en type: magazine reference: 'Susa Young Gates, "A Mother’s Letters to Her Missionary Son. I—An Unposted Letter," *Improvement Era* 8, no. 4 (February 1905): 263–270.' source: url: https://archive.org/details/improvementera0804unse transcription: Transcribed from the Internet Archive scan of each issue (the item for each issue is named in the issue's own source); unnumbered advertising leaves are omitted, printed page numbers are kept as page markers. identifier: improvementera0804unse start_page: 263 end_page: 270 rights: status: public-domain basis: US publication 1930 or earlier (published 1905-02) source: https://archive.org/details/improvementera0804unse publication_year: 1905 note: The Internet Archive item metadata carries a blanket "© Copyright by Intellectual Reserve, Inc." notice. The library owner judged it inapplicable because this issue was published in 1905, before 1931; a scan-level notice does not restore copyright. --- # A Mother’s Letters to Her Missionary Son. I—An Unposted Letter A MOTHER'S LETTERS TO HER MISSIONARY SON. EDITED BY SUSA YOUNG GATES. I—AN UNPOSTED LETTER. My dear son Daniel:—You will wonder why I am sending this sealed letter with you,which you are to open and read on the train. While I write this, you and all the family are sleeping, and tomorrow you are to leave us for a mission to Great Britain. But your call came so suddenly, and we have all been so busy with the preparations for your journey, that I have had no time to sit down with you, as has been our frequent custom, and talk over this important step in your life. Therefore I write, and hope to write often to you on many subjects connected with your labors abroad. Your father and the girls will keep you posted as to general affairs, but I am constrained to put down on paper some counsel which I hope will find a ready response in your loving soul. Answer me fully, and acquaint me with the mental and spiritual conditions surrounding you, which will be far more interesting to me than the earthly and physical environments which may be yours for a season. You will also ponder, I am sure, why I have addressed you so formally, calling you Daniel, instead of the old, familiar nickname of Dan, or Dannie boy. It is because you have now taken upon you the station and character of a man—aye, a man in Christ Jesus. We are fond of nicknames, you and I; but there comes a time in a man's life when boyishness should give place to manliness, and dignity should gently assert its claim. The world will measure you at the valuation which you place upon yourself; and all women 264 IMPROVEMENT ERA. and good men honor a man who respects himself, and who modestly dignifies his own life and his position therein. Nicknames are small matters, but nothing is unimportant that has a bearing upon character. You are inclined to underestimate yourself, and while this springs from a beautiful principle—humility and modesty,—yet, if carried too far,it will weaken your influence for good, and contribute to make you seem inferior, whether you may be so or not. In referring to this matter, I would suggest, my boy, that you sign your first full name, and have all your mail matter 50 addressed. Initials are common, and in noway distinctive; your name is a good, old-fashioned one, and, if used, it will give you a strength of individuality quite wonderful in so small a matter. These outward trifles should mark a corresponding uplift in your whole soul. You are now an ambassador of Christ. Think of it! A chosen and ordained representative of our glorious King in heaven. You know what a position of honor is conferred upon a man when he is made ambassador for the king of England to the United States! Such a man must have a house, equipage, and even a wardrobe, in accord with his exalted position; he must guard his utterances, he must study his deportment, and he must in every way be a dignified, wise and splendid representative of a great and powerful nation. Years of training are required to prepare him for his delicate and difficult task, and neither birth nor wealth are considered in such a selection, unless they are united with wide culture, self-control, profound wisdom and unimpeachable integrity. You, my son, are the ambassador of the King of heaven, sent to represent, in your life and character, his mission and his message to the nations of the earth. Your housing and clothing may in no sense reproduce the glory of his matchless home; for he set the pattern, with his loving courtesy, of dwelling in obscurity, and clothing with coarse vesture; for he came to the poor and the meek of the earth, and he would not shame them with a splendor of apparel nor with the gorgeousness of the king's rightful equipage. So, too, you have gone forth to bear the message of peace to the meek and the lowly; like himself, your deportment and whole appearance should be simplicity itself, united with utmost cleanliness. .4 MOTHER'S LETTERS TO HER MISSIONARY SON. 265 You will find your father's present—a clothes brush—in your •bag, and he told me to tell you to apply often the brush vigorously to your clothes. No spot must appear on your neat, black suit: and you will now learn to do those things for yourself which your sisters and I have done for you. I have taught you to use a needle. Be sure you make frequent use of the little box of thread and needles in your valise. May I refer to the small matter of your toilet, and urge you to keep those fine, white teeth of yours well cleaned, twice-a-day brushing will do this, perhaps; don't be too hurried to trim and polish your nails daily, for trifles,you know, often prove the gentleman. You will have abundant time to care properly for your person, and no one thing will add more to your value in the missionary field than a neat and gentlemanly appearance. To be "well groomed" is one of the marks of the highest culture; and what culture can compare with the spiritual refinement which should and will characterize the kingdom of heaven? We have given you a liberal supply of luncheon; it might have been as cheap, and far less trouble, to give you money sufficient to buy at least one meal a day. But we want you to do as others in like conditions do; and, therefore, let that be a little principle in your conduct to do what the majority of your company do, and to go with them where they wish to go. I am sure you will offer to share your luncheon with others, and it may hap pen that some elder from a distant town will have small food supply, and less cash for the journey. Your own kind heart will teach you how to make him the sharer of all your generous blessings; and yet, you must be careful not to sin against yourself and us by a lavish expenditure of your money, either on yourself or others. There is a sin of unselfishness as there is of selfishness; it is easy for you to give, so I would have you to guard yourself from a superabundant generosity. I have put no very rich food in your basket, although both Leah and Lucy would add a nut cake and a small fruit cake. But be careful of your diet, for your appetite may be keen, and you must keep your system in excellent order, if you would avoid excessive sea-sickness and be prepared to meet successfully the conditions of changed climate and life. Don't buy nor eat candy, nor rich pastry. Let wholesome bread, butter, meat and fruit, 26B IMPROVEMENT ERA. form the staple of your diet. Much of the sickness suffered^jr the elders in the missionary field is caused by error in diet. I will write you more fully on this at a future time. Our kind friend, Dr. Taylor, brought the little box of powders which you will find in your hand bag, and which he says you are to take one every night after supper,while on your journey. They are to obviate the common effects of traveling, and to so regulate your system that you will not be sea-sick. I hesitated about putting them in, for you know how anxious I am to lean upon the Lord instead of upon doctors and medicine; but your practical father wanted them put in, so there they are. You will also find a small bottle of consecrated oil; if you have faith in the Lord, and in the humble teachings of your mother, just take a sip of oil at night instead of the powders, and see what the Lord will do for you. It's a poor religion that will not help us on week days as well as on Sundays. May I speak of a matter near to your heart? You whispered to me tonight that you had had a last talk with your sweetheart, and that you had released her from the engagement. I am glad, my son. Mattie is a noble and a dear girl. But it is not wise to continue your engagement; for one thing, not all girls care to wait two or three years for an absent lover, while there may be several just as desirable young men at home ready to show attentions to a good and noble girl. An engagement would not help her to wait, but rather the contrary. There is a belongingness in these things. You want the one that belongs to you, and no other, no matter how lovely or desirable that other might be. If Mattie is the one for you, you will get her, and you need not be troubled at all about it* It she is not, surely you do not want her. Above all other reasons connected with it is the fact that the longing and anxiety in a young man's mind prevents him from doing his best work. There is much truth in Paul's covert suggestion about the weakening influence of absorbing love upon the mind of men who would devote themselves to spiritual work. The Catholic priests recognize this truth, and never marry. But they carry it too far. Marriage is ordained of God, and you nor any other man can be exalted in heaven without a wife. If you were married, it would be different, but even then the fever and fret of A MOTHER'S LETTERS TO HER MISSIONARY SON. 267" love should not be permitted a foothold in a missionary's heart, for it will unfit him for his calling, or perhaps lead to weakness, or even sin. There is a time for all things, and now it is meet that you should forget all earthly cares and ties for a season, and prepare to absorb yourself in the work which you have gone to do. You asked me if you should write to Mattie; your father, when l\ referred the matter to him, said: "Yes; if he and she wish it. The association and friendship of good women c're refining and exalting in their character. Daniel will need good friends and plenty of them, all his life: we all do. But? let the correspondence be on a friendly basis, nothing else. He should write to Mattie as he would to Leah or Lucy. And, indeed, why should he not ask several of the girls to correspond with him? Letter writing is an art, and sometimes is the key to literary development. But,of course, even this may be harmful, if carried to an extreme." So, there is your father's counsel, and I heartily agree. If you conclude not to write to Mattie, I will let you know how she is, and what she may be doing. But put us women-people aside, my son, and, indeed, all your home-longings, and cultivate a firm reliance upon God, while you devote yourself to his work. You are now rushing along on the cars, over new and beautl>- ful scenery. Don't waste one opportunity to see and learn. Study your railroad map diligently, and carefully read the little guide books which your sister Leah gave you. Every item of information you get is a part of your life's preparation and education. Learn the height of the -mountains, the altitude of the mountain towns and cities, their names, characteristics and population. You have not had a college education, but you can educate yourself with the help of our Father. Your opportunities for studying geography, history, and sociology will now be limited only by time and your own efforts. Don't be afraid to ask questions of the proper people. If a gentleman near you offer to open a conversation, courteously meet his advances, for thereby you may gain valuable information, and perhaps open a way for you to bear your first humble testimony to a stranger. See all you can, under proper conditions, and see with your mind as well as your eyes wide open. A wealthy young man, who had the rare privilege of ^gg IMPRO VEMENT ERA. circling the earth in his travels, was asked on his return to Utah, by a bright young girl, "Oh, what did you see? And tell about the many wonders of the world!" The young man stuttered and hesitated, and was voiceless. "Did you see the pyramids?" was asked to help him out of his embarrassment "and what did you think of them?" "Yes; I saw them," he answered. "They were big!" If you see nothing but size, do try to think of size as a descriptive quality. Compare, describe to yourself, if to no other, the various points of beauty and interest in everything you see. The world is bounded for you by what vou don't know. Increase, therefore, your world of knowledge, by the aid of the senses God has given you—by the eye, see, observe and measure; by the ear, if you can hear or read anyone's impressions or ideas concerning that which you are observing; and by your mind, which shall weigh and measure the evidence of eye, ear and hand, adding to and 1;aking from, as wisdom and your own individuality may dictate. You have been fortunate in having your eyes opened to the beauty •of cloud and sky, of mountain and valley, in your own loved Utah; but every soul must be awakened to a sense of beauty; it rarely comes untaught or unsought. Therefore, do not be afraid of your young enthusiasm; enjoy the beauty about you, and voice that pleasure as you fly over rugged mountains, or through verdured plains; and by your words you may awaken this comprehension in the sleeping soul of some fellow-missionary. Also, you may give unbounded pleasure to the inhabitants of the region you are passing over, for it pleases a man as much to praise his native scenery as it does a woman to praise her baby. There is nothing unmanly or undignified in fresh, upspringing enthusiasm. To be dignified is not to be morose, sullen or silent; a quiet reserve is always necessary while in public, but reserve is not solemnity nor sluggishness. When you have a spare moment, study the Scriptures. You have no moments to waste on novels; you have had the stories of the Bible and Book of Mormon both at home and in the Sunday school. But you have never really studied either book, and, owing to our inability to place you in a Church school, you will find you have A MOTHER'S LETTERS TO HER MISSIONARY SON. 269a long, hard path to tread, in making yourself familiar with the truths of the gospel. I am sure, you will neither mourn your own lack in this respect, nor blame your parents and their circumstances. You are familiar with the primary truths of the gospel as they were presented to your childish mind. Now you are a man, and the whole spiritual and physical world awaits your personal discovery. It is impossible for the immature mind to grasp abstract subjects and to solve mental problems; you have felt the gospel, but the time has come for you to knov) it, and to understand it. Childhood and youth do not reason, they act and' feel; maturity thinks and ponders, deliberates and chooses. It is right that you should go out into the world, and thus meet and slay your own dragons of doubt and temptation. Your parents have done their best for you; alas, that it should be so little! But God understands, and he will make up any lack. You have been a fairly good attendant at both the Sunday school and the Mutual Improvent associations; so you have there gleaned many scraps of knowledge, which you can now fit into thepoor or the beautiful garment which you yourself must weave, with which to cover your soul's nakedness, and which men call variously education and character. Should it not be beautiful in structure and harmonious in its detail? Your answer will be the mode in which you occupy the days, months and years which you are to spend in this most glorious mission, which shall make you either a man, or—what shall I say?—a failure. Oh, not that, not that! My eldest son, dear delight of my heart, remember your mother and your honored father. Forget us not, wherever you are; for we shall be loving you and praying for you wherever you are, and whatever you are doing. Be mindful of your prayers, in the morning as well as at night; for, if ever you needed faith and humility, it is now—right now. Always love. Your Mother. P.S.—Your father has read this, and wishes me to say to you: You have an English tongue in your head; and if you get separated from your companions, or lose your way, ask questions. But do not ask of any one, in a city, but a policeman. It is his business to answer, and others may object to being put to the trouble 270 IMPROVEMENT ERA. of furnishing information. Conductors and trainmen will usually give answers if asked civilly; but do not ask that which is unnecessary or which is answered by signs and printed placards or time •tables. There is so much more I want to say, which I have not time to write. I will post a letter on to Chicago, in care of the president •of that mission. Send postal cards each day, and don't forget Mother. Salt Lake City, Utah. (To be Continued.)