--- title: Improvement Era description: Monthly periodical of the Mormon church, 1897 onward. This library holds the issues of November 1897 to December 1930. authors: - Evans, John H. collections: - periodicals tags: - magazine - improvement-era periodical: Improvement Era volume: 8 number: 1 published: 1904-11 publisher: Young Men’s Mutual Improvement Associations publisher_place: Salt Lake City language: en type: magazine reference: 'John H. Evans, "A Parting of the Ways: A Story," *Improvement Era* 8, no. 1 (November 1904): 36–47.' source: url: https://archive.org/details/improvementera0801unse transcription: Transcribed from the Internet Archive scan of each issue (the item for each issue is named in the issue's own source); unnumbered advertising leaves are omitted, printed page numbers are kept as page markers. identifier: improvementera0801unse start_page: 36 end_page: 47 rights: status: public-domain basis: US publication 1930 or earlier (published 1904-11) source: https://archive.org/details/improvementera0801unse publication_year: 1904 note: The Internet Archive item metadata carries a blanket "© Copyright by Intellectual Reserve, Inc." notice. The library owner judged it inapplicable because this issue was published in 1904, before 1931; a scan-level notice does not restore copyright. --- # A Parting of the Ways: A Story A PARTING OF THE WAYS. BY JOHN H. EVANS, OF THE LATTER-DAY SAINTS' UNIVERSITY. We had been talking about the severe mental and moral struggles that must have gone on in the souls of many of the Saints, in the early days of the Church, on account of their religious convictions, and several stories bringing out the severity of these conflicts had been related by various members of the party. This one had been dismissed from a good position, as soon as it was known by his employer that he had joined the "Mormons." That one had been forsaken by his wife and children, directly the ceremony of baptism was performed, and was never permitted to see them afterwards. Another had been driven from the home where he had spent his childhood days, and told never to cross the threshold again, as long as he claimed connection with that "wretched faith." And so it went. Then an old gentleman, who had thus far taken no part in the conversation, but who, it was observed by every one present, had been deeply interested during the evening, drew his chair forward in the circle, and began the narration of a personal experience which, I am sure, no one that heard him that night can easily forget. He had one of those fresh, youthful-looking complexions that one not infrequently sees in the well-preserved old persons hereabouts, a massive, clean-shaved countenance, with a great Roman nose, noble and refined features, all looking out kindly upon you from a quantity of wavy, snow-white hair. As none of us had ever met him before, and as, moreover, he promised to be a storehouse of strange experiences, we hailed him with delight as one of our story tellers. "Coming into the Church," he began, "is not the only thing that tried our mettle in those days, though even that was enough. A PARTING OF THE WAYS. 37 as I have had ample occasion to know. But it was often a harder test of character to stay in after we had joined." He paused as if to collect his thoughts, and his face h'ghted up with the remembrance of what he was about to say. "It was in November, 1838. Joseph and Hyrum Smith, Sidney Rigdon, Lyman Wight, George Robinson, and I, were imprisoned in the Old Block House, at Independence, Missouri. But before you can understand the nature of the circumstance I am going to tell you of, I must explain how it was that we came to be there. "The Saints had been in Caldwell and adjacent counties only a little while, that is to say, about two years, when trouble broke out between some of the 'Mormon' settlers and their 'Gentile' neighbors, over something or other connected with a political election. It had been our custom to vote pretty much together —we had to, in order to preserve our civil At any rate, the rights first thing we knew, the whole 'Mormon' community was involved in the difficulties, and large bands of former mobocrats, arraed and officered, for the most part, at the expense of the state, were going from one settlement of the Saints to another, commanding the people to leave instantly on pain of death. And if any of the brethren were bold enough to question the authority of such an unusual proceeding, they were shot down, without warning, like so many offending dogs. This was how it happened that men, women, and children came running from every quarter to Far West for protection, till the little city was so over-crowded that we despaired of ever being able to care for them all; for in few instances had they been given time to get their property together before their flight. "One evening, just at sunset, we saw, about two miles to the south, a long line of cavalry, with a train of baggage wagons, advancing towards the city. At first we took it to be some of our own men returning from an expedition they had made to render assistance to a neighboring town sorely besieged by a mob. But we were soon undeceived. It was a large army under the command of General Lucas coming, as he said, to expel the 'Mormons,' or give them to the edge of the sword. The army continued its march until it arrived at Goose Creek about a mile away, where it encamped for the night. 38 IMPROVEMENT ERA. "We determined that, if attacked, we would offer as vigorous a defense of our property, our families, and our lives, as it was possible for us to give. So we organized as best we could, placing in command some militia officers, of whom we had a few among us, in collecting all that we could find in the shape of firearms and ammunition. We spent the whole night in throwing up a breastwork of building-timber, logs, rails, floor plank, and earth. By morning, therefore, we had fortified the whole of the side towards the army, as well as a considerable part of the east and the west side, making in all about a mile and a half. All this labor and precaution, however, were of no avail, for the battle which we all dreadfully expected on the morrow fortunately never took place at all. "In the afternoon of the following day, George M. Hinkle, a 'Mormon' colonel of the militia who had taken charge of our men, and who had been in secret conference, with the mob officials to see what arrangements might be made to bring about peace, brought word from Lucas requesting six of the leaders of the Church, whom he named, to come to his, camp, and assuring them that as soon as peace negotiations were entered into they should be released. The six men already named were those called for by the general. We hesitated to trust our lives to one who openly boasted his wicked intentions towards the 'Mormons,' but as there was no other alternative, and as Hinkle had pledged his honor that no harm was intended, we consented to go with him to the camp. " 'General Lucas,' said the colonel, as we approached the out- posts where the mob commander was stationed with a guard of several hundred men, 'these are the prisoners I agreed to deliver up.' We had been treacherously betrayed, and our cause was lost. With a flourish of his sword, Lucas ordered his men to surround us. One entire brigade were dressed and painted like Indian warriors, and so they deemed it proper to imitate their savage prototypes in other respects also. They yelled, they danced about us, they cursed, they exulted fiercely, as if they had won an honor, able victory. Victory indeed they had obtained; for our capture meant that the city would be exposed to the fury of these violent and intractable men. They taunted us for our simple, trusting nature; they thrust their guns into our sides, and bade us prophesy A FARTING OP THE WAYS. 39 what awaited us; they swore and blasphemed in the most shocking manner. "Presently, under a strong guard, we were taken to the main camp. Then followed a night of horror which it is impossible for me to describe. We lay out on the ground under the open sky amidst a heavy rain, listening to the same profane and threatening language that had offended our ears upon first reaching Lucas's guards, varied, however, by lewd tales of outrages, which the narrators had perpetrated upon the 'Mormons.' "Meantime a court martial was, being held, at which we were tried for 'treason, arson, robbery, theft,* and a dozen other crimes against God and man, whose very names, to say nothing of the acts, some of us had never heard. The council was composed, we afterwards learned, of seventeen preachers of various sects, and a number of the principal officers of the army. They were in session all night long. There were moments from hour to hour as the night dragged on, when we could hear what was taking place, for we were within earshot of where they met. There were dissenting voices, judging by the length of the session and the tumult that we heard every now and then. After midnight, when the guards became less boisterous and the voices in the tent grew louder, we caught an occasional word. In an agony of suspense we listened to the deliberations of this unruly gathering. Our grief was increased when we recognized the voices of some of those who had been our warmest friends and brethren. This was the service, evidently, by which they paid for their security and freedom. Little by little we gathered the terms of our sentence. It was, that at eight o'clock in the morning we were all to be shot on the public square at Par West, in the full sight of our friends and families. When, towards daybreak, this last detail of the sentence was added, we distinctly heard General Doniphan's voice saying angrily: wash my hands of this whole business; it is nothing if not " 'I a cold-blooded murder; and I will withdraw my entire brigade if any attempt is made to carry it out.' "Soon after this the court broke up, and we were informed by Doniphan himself, of the sentence that had been passed upon us, though he said nothing about his own feelings and stand in the 40 IMPROVEMENT ERA. matter. Such was the character of most of the men into whose power we had fallen that we entertained no hopes whatever that the sentence would not be executed, but our souls nevertheless were possessed of an indescribable peace. "Not long after daybreak we were hurried to the public square, where this sentence was to be executed. Special pains had been taken to notify the inhabitants of Far West of our fate. The ruthless messengers had manifested a savage delight in describing to our families the minutest details of our calamjties and approaching death. All those brethren in the citywho had borne arms were deprived of them, and then sent away lest they might interfere with the plans of the mob. Then there followed such a scene of violence and outrage as I had never looked upon and wish never to see again. *'The men who owned anything in the city were brought forward and forced, at the muzzle of the rifle, to sign away their property to these plunderers for the purpose of defraying the expenses that might be incurred in banishing them from the state or putting them to death in case they offered any resistance. And each one, as he performed this melancholy task, was warned that he need not utter any complaint, nor look as if it were a disagreeable duty! "Half an hour was then given us in which to part with our families and friends, preparatory to taking a journey to Independence, a decision which had been privately reached and kept from every one except us and those in charge. For the sentence of death passed upon us was not put into effect, partly because of the disaffection of Generals Doniphan, and Graham, on account of its harshness, partly because the jealousy of Lucas would not permit General Clark, whom he knew to be on his way to Far West, to reap any of the inglorious honors of the war. "Under the guard of three soldiers, I went to my home where I beheld a most lamentable sight. My wife lay in bed of a fever with an infant at her breast and a little girl of six by the bedside. Thrown across the foot was a woman who had sought the shelter of my hut to endure the pains of maternity, At sight of me my wife burst into tears. Iendeavored to console her by assuring her that I should not suffer the death that my enemies had so A PARTING OF THE WATS. 41 much hoped for; and bade her, as I kissed away her tears, to try to live for my sake and the children's. Embracing my little ones, I hastily withdrew to open the flood-gates of my own grief. I went immediately to Wilson, who was to take us to Independence, and described this condition of affairs; but the flint-hearted officer answered me with a volley of curses and an exultant laugh. "But the scene I looked upon next, as I walked to the square, was even more heartrending to those immediately concerned than mine had been to me. Joseph and Hyrum were indeed permitted to see their families, but not to speak with them. They yearned to administer a word of consolation to their terrorized wives and aged parents, and to assure them that this monstrous sentence of death was not to be carried out. But only the mute language of the eyes was permitted, and the silent pressure of the hand. I have always remembered with peculiar sensations this picture of affection struggling to repress its overwhelming grief and anguish at parting. "After this, we were conducted to Independence, a distance of sixty miles, being exhibited along the way by General Wilson as honorable trophies of war and exposed to the jests and insults of the curious multitudes as they thronged the way. "Arrived at Independence, we were put in the Old Block House under guard of only one man, who seemed not the least concerned whether he performed his duty or not; for by this time, it seems, Wilson and others in charge had become ashamed of their conduct in this illegal proceeding; but did not know how to get us off their hands without creating a fresh outbreak of hate on the part of the masses of anti-'Mormons.' So they put us here under these slender restrictions, hoping that we might make good our escape, thus freeing them from any odium that would otherwise attach to them. "This,then,is how we came to be confined in the Independence jail. * * * * * * * "On one of those lonely nights, spent under these circumstances, I awoke suddenly from a sound sleep. The fire had long since died out, and everything was as still as death. I struggled in the gathering dawn to distinguish objects in the room. For some time I was unable to tell where I was. My eyes fell upon 42 IMPROVEMENT ERA. ray five companions sleeping beside me on the floor, like myself, with all their clothes on, their heads pillowed on blocks of wood. Then I recalled with horrible distinctness the scene which I have tried to describe to you. And as the combined force of them all rushed upon me, I said to myself, "'Why should we be treated thus? Why cannot we obtain our freedom?' "Freedom! "The very word thrilled every part of my being; for the Revolutionary blood that I inherit ran still hot in my veins. "Suddenly a new thought struck me. What if I should try an experiment to see just what I might do. There would be no harm done, at any rate, and some good might come of it. "I looked around me to see if my companions were awake. They were still breathing deeply. I arose and tiptoed across the room to the door. It was unbarred. Opening it, I looked back at my brethren. They had not been disturbed. I stepped out into the open air. The snow was falling heavily. So much the better, I thought, for I shall not easily be discovered. "I passed on eastward through the town; slowly at first, as one who would take a morning walk. No one had seen me. Then I increased my pace. I ran. Still I had not been observed. For a mile and more, I continued to run at a rapid rate. I stopped all out of breath, in the midst of a small grove. "It had not occurred to me, before leaving my prison, that such an act might place me in a position where I would be tempted, perhaps beyond my strength. But now that I was here, thoughts of freedom beat high in my breast! "I am complete master of this situation, I said. I might go or stay, as I please. There is nothing to hinder my escape. "Our hearts are so constituted that, in strong temptation, the right always speaks out first.It may be in such a faint voice that we will have to listen close in order to hear it. Such was the case with me at this time. For I remember distinctly that my first impression was that it would be wrong for me to try to escape. But then it passed so quickly over me as to make only a slight mark. So I began to reason— something that is always dangerous in temptation. A PARTING OF THE WAYS. 43 "I knew the way to the Eastern States, having several times covered the distance, once afoot. Could I not, therefore, flee thither, send for my family, make myself at home, and live in peace and happiness? My heart beat faster at the thought. This idea gained strength as I dwelt upon the danger to them if they remained where they were. My imagination pictured ourselves already occupying the neat little frame house, with land enough for the cultivation of what our small needs might demand, which I had labored so hard to erect, during the days of my bachelorhood, before I joined the Church, and which I had foolishly sold almost for a song, in order that I might be with the Prophet and Saints in New York. I took the more pleasure in this thought because I had heard that the place was for sale, the family that had occupied it having emigrated westward. What a quiet and prosperous life we might lead in this home, free from all fear of mob violence! "But what of my religion if I succeeded in getting away? For eight years now I had been closely associated with the leaders of the Church, and, since the organization of the quorum of apostles, I had been one of them. And during all this time I had established no small reputation as an enterprising missionary, having carried the gospel into almost every part of the United States and Canada. Moreover, I took conscious pride in the strength of my testimony of the Truth. 'Mormonism' had penetrated every part of my being, and I could as easily live without some of the vital organs of my physical body as I could without the spiritual sustenance for my soul, that I got from my religion. Nothing was therefore further from my mind, I persuaded myself, than to abandon my faith. I had as lief deny my own existence as my testimony of the Gospel. All that I contemplated was a suspension of aggressive work. I should not be an active missionary. I should attend no meetings of the Saints. I should have no duties to perform in connection with my calling in the priesthood. Indeed, where I was to live, I should not be known at all as one of the despised 'Mormons.' But I should still believe in God and in the divinity of the Book of Mormon. I should still know that Joseph was the prophet of the Lord, I should continue my private religious devotions. The only difference, therefore, between my past and my 44 IMPROVEMENT ERA. future conduct, so far as my religion was concerned, would be outward rather than inward, in appearance than reality. "It was clear, then, that, if I escaped, there would be peace, happiness, prosperity; and if I should not escape, there would be —what? "I was in the hands of ray pronounced and inveterate enemies, who had sworn to have my life and the lives of those who were with me. It was true that I was in tolerable circumstances now; but I had heard that we were to be given into the hands of those who would have no scruples in working their will upon us. I knew that I had committed no crime against any law, human or divine. But what had innocence counted in the past? Had innocence been the only guarantee needed, I should not have been in my present circumstances debating with myself as to whether I hid not best regain my freedom by running away. "In a day or two, I had heard, we were to be conducted to Liberty for trial before the celebrated mobocrat judge, Austin King. And I shuddered as, in imagination, I looked upon the distorted countenance of this second Jeffries shouting sentences of death at his unhappy prisoners for confessing their belief in the literal fulfilment of- Daniel's prediction concerning the personal reign of Christ on the earth. I bad been present on more than one occasion when some of the brethren were sentenced by him to long terms of imprisonment, and even death, without so much as permitting them to open their lips in self-defense; whose very witnesses, in fact, after coming, upon subpoena, the distance of a hundred miles to testify, v/ere summarily clapped into jail for the crime of presuming to say a word in behalf of their friends. And before this inexorable judge we were to be tried for our lives. Surely, unless the Lord intervened, there would be no escape from the clutches of this cruel monster. "At this instant I recollected a prediction that Joseph had made privately to his fellow prisoners. He said that however much we might suffer while in the hands of our enemies, our lives should be spared. I firmly believed that this prophecy would be fulfilled. But though it gave us our lives, it did not insure us against extreme suffering; and there is a sort of suffering which is worse than death. Indeed, there was a strong implication in the prophecy A PARTING OF THE WAYS. 45 that we should have a great deal to endure. Besides, this was only a promise that out lives should not be taken during this imprisonment. It said not a word of the future. I guessed and feared what that future held in store for the despised 'Mormons.' Had not scores of helpless men been shot down by the mob for venturing to doubt the legality of the means by which they were stripped of their property and their rights? Had not nineteen persons been just murdered at Haun's Mill under circumstances of tte utmost cruelty? And had not the governor of the State issued a decree of general banishment and death against the Saints in Missouri, which the army was even now executing with singular brutality? It was all but certain, therefore, that, if I escaped long imprisonment or death, I should only fall into calamities and dangers more perilous. Poverty, persecution, perhaps death, — these would be my fate, if I did not take advantage of this opportunity, "I was persuaded, moreover, that there was a kind of divine approval in what I was about to do. Nay, I was convinced that God had, in a sense, actually prepared the way. How else could I account for some of the circumstances that attended my escape thus far. I had been awakened suddenly by a noise. Why had not the others been disturbed also? And the time — had not that too been the most favorable? It was just at daybreak. Had it been either half an hour before or after, I should not have been able to leave the jail. Then, besides all this, the snow had been falling heavily all morning; so that, if it were desirable to recapture me — which I had no doubt of, now that I had left the house— it would have been impossible to do so, for every trace of my foot-prints had been long since obliterated. How could such a fortunate combination of circumstances be accounted for other than by a reference to a divine arrangement? "My mind was made up, then. To go forward was freedom, to go backward meant persecution and suffering and very probably death. And in the former I had the divine sanction. "There was a momentary pause in the storm. I stepped to the edge of the wood and gazed in the direction of IndependenceNot a soul was in sight. I ran through the grove to the other side. The way there was equally clear. "Mechanically, I walked back to where I stood before. The 46 IMPROVEMENT ERA. storm began again. I sat down on a wet log. I watched the big heavy flakes, as they fell to the earth and lost themselves in the white mass already gathered there. I put out my hand and watched one and then another flake fall upon it and melt instantly away. The wind began to blow. Soon there was a perfect hurricane and , the snow whirled in every direction. "Still I did not go. up and paced nervously back and forth under the "I got swaying trees. I was extremely miserable. I pressed ray hands to my temples. The veins there throbbed as if they would burst. Beads of sweat stood out on my forehead. I sat down again, but got up instantly. I felt as if I would go mad. I was in mortal agony. My mind was in a stupor. I was unable to think. "Why did I not hurry away and secure my freedom? "To this day I cannot tell what it was that started my train of reflections again. We never know just why, in any given condition, the mind constantly recurs to the same idea. But such we know to be the case. I have always believed that in my extreme mental anguish I suddenly lost self-consciousness and fell to the ground. At all events, I found myself looking once more into the depths of my soul for an answer to the question as to whether I should go. "My former doubts returned. — did not "What possible justification could I offer to myself I think of any one else —for leaving my bosom companions the in hour of peril ? I recalled that when Hinkle had betrayed us into the enemy's power I was one of the loudest to denounce his perfidy. And here I had been meditating a similar act of treachery! Nay it was worse; for I had been intimately connected with my brethren, knew their goodness of heart as few others did, and would, by this act of desertion, expose them to a fresh outburst of rage on the part of their enemies. I felt a blush of shame distinctly pass over my countenance as I compared my own treasonable thoughts with the frequent manifestations of supreme love and devoted friendship on the part of my beloved leader. "And I had been selfish and base enough to create visions of peace and happiness for myself and family away from my people! I had been on the verge of placing an insuperable barrier between : A PARTING OF THE WAYS. 47 their prosperity and mine! Peace and happiness, indeed, thought I. What peace could there be for him who could sever in a moment the most sacred ties of brotherly love, ties that had been cemented by common affliction and peril? How could I have stooped to such baseness as to imagine that my soul, even in this life, should know peace and quiet, at such a terrible sacrifice? Like Cain, I should be a vagabond in the earth. My perfidious act of apostasy would haunt me like ghosts of the night. Follow my Savior when the way was one of pleasantness, but abandon him when it was encompassed by dangers? And the vrords of this same Jesus rang in my ears: 'He that will seek to save his life shall lose it; but he that will lose his life for my sake shall find it again, even life eternal' ! How great would be my punishment, I reflected, were I to turn my back upon the work of the Lord, at the moment of its extreme peril! The thought that I could cease active toil and still retain the sacred peace which only this very labor gives, was now unthinkable. My very security would serve only to remind me of the dangers that inveighed against the peace of my people. The greeting that I should receive from the Gentile neighbor, who knew not that I was a 'Mormon,' would fill me with unspeakable remorse and shame at my base desertion. Every sermon I heard would proclaim my cowardice for suppressing my real convictions of the truth. "And I fell to berating my wicked intentions. My lips instinctly formed the words: Selfish, Coward, Apostate. These were hissed at me as if by some one without. I despised myself for harboring such treacherous thoughts. " 'No!' I fairly shouted; 'never will I forsake my brethren and expose them to danger! Never will I abandon my highest conviction of the truth! I will go back to my conscience and my people, though immediate death should be the inevitable result.' "I fell upon my knees and thanked God for preserving me from this terrible temptation. "When I arose, a supreme joy took possession of me, such as I had not known since I left my prison an hour since; and I dis- tinctly heard the whispering of a still small voice " 'To him that overcometh will I grant to sit with me in my ******** throne, even as I also overcame, and am set in his throne.' down with my Father