---
title: Improvement Era
description: Monthly periodical of the Mormon church, 1897 onward. This library holds the issues of November 1897 to December 1930.
authors:
  - Young Men’s Mutual Improvement Associations
collections:
  - periodicals
tags:
  - magazine
  - improvement-era
periodical: Improvement Era
volume: 3
number: 2
published: 1899-12
publisher: Young Men’s Mutual Improvement Associations
publisher_place: Salt Lake City
language: en
type: magazine
reference: 'Young Men’s Mutual Improvement Associations, "In Lighter Mood," *Improvement Era* 3, no. 2 (December 1899): 148.'
source:
  url: https://archive.org/details/improvementera32unse
  transcription: Transcribed from the Internet Archive scan of each issue (the item for each issue is named in the issue's own source); unnumbered advertising leaves are omitted, printed page numbers are kept as page markers.
  identifier: improvementera32unse
start_page: 148
end_page: 148
rights:
  status: public-domain
  basis: US publication 1930 or earlier (published 1899-12)
  source: https://archive.org/details/improvementera32unse
  publication_year: 1899
  note: The Internet Archive item metadata carries a blanket "© Copyright by Intellectual Reserve, Inc." notice. The library owner judged it inapplicable because this issue was published in 1899, before 1931; a scan-level notice does not restore copyright.
---

# In Lighter Mood

<!-- page:148 -->

LIGHTER MOOD.

        A teacher at Garden City said to her primary class the other day;
"If your       father gave your mother $7 today and $8 tomorrow what
would she have?"
        And     the small boy      over in the corner replied, "She would have a
fit."       Kansas City Journal.
                                    *           *       *

    It was a Connecticut boy who surprised his teacher in reading the

other day by his interpretation of the sentence: "There is a worm; do
not tread on him," He read slowly and hesitatingly, with that droning
intonation and misplaced emphasis peculiar to the young idea when it is
just starting to shoot: "There is a warm doughnut; tread on him."
                                    *           *       *

        Farmer:     "If   I   were as lazy as you      I'd   go and hang myself in my
barn."
        Tramp;      "No, you wouldn't."
        Farmer:     "Why wouldn't I?"
        Tramp:      "Ef you was as lazy as me you wouldn't have no barn."
                                    *           *       *

        His wife:    "And you are to defend that shoplifter?"
        The lawyer:       "My dear, she isn't a shoplifter.         She was formerly,
but she has saved so much money in the last ten years that she has be-
come a kleptomaniac."
                                    *           *       *

        The New York Tribune prints an amusing story of the English Ad-
miral De Horsey, who, some years ago, was admiral of the North Atlantic
Squadron.      He had been dining on shore at Port Royal, Jamaica.
        On returning to his flagship after dinner, his way to the boat led
him across the barrack square.               A black sentry of one of the West India
regiments halted him at the gate with, "Who goes dar?"                    Great was the
admiral's annoyance to discover that he had neglected to get the pass-
word before leaving the ship.
        That's all right," he said, carelessly, hoping to overcome the man's
scruples by his indifference; "you know who I am."
        "Dunno nobody, sah," replied the colored soldier, pompously; "you
can t go in dar."
        "Why, I'm Admiral De Horsey."
         Well you can't go in.          I   don't care if you's Admiral   De Donkey."