---
title: Improvement Era
description: Monthly periodical of the Mormon church, 1897 onward. This library holds the issues of November 1897 to December 1930.
authors:
  - Young Men's Mutual Improvement Associations
collections:
  - periodicals
tags:
  - magazine
  - improvement-era
periodical: Improvement Era
volume: 2
number: 4
published: 1899-02
publisher: Young Men’s Mutual Improvement Associations
publisher_place: Salt Lake City
language: en
type: magazine
reference: "Young Men's Mutual Improvement Associations, \"Editor’s Table: In Lighter Mood,\" *Improvement Era* 2, no. 4 (February 1899): 314."
source:
  url: https://archive.org/details/improvementera24unse
  transcription: Transcribed from the Internet Archive scan of each issue (the item for each issue is named in the issue's own source); unnumbered advertising leaves are omitted, printed page numbers are kept as page markers.
  identifier: improvementera24unse
start_page: 314
end_page: 314
rights:
  status: public-domain
  basis: US publication 1930 or earlier (published 1899-02)
  source: https://archive.org/details/improvementera24unse
  publication_year: 1899
  note: The Internet Archive item metadata carries a blanket "© Copyright by Intellectual Reserve, Inc." notice. The library owner judged it inapplicable because this issue was published in 1899, before 1931; a scan-level notice does not restore copyright.
---

# Editor’s Table: In Lighter Mood

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IN LIGHTER MOOD.
An elderly fat gentleman, in discussing a warm beefsteak at a Highland inn, called to the waiting boy: "Donald, bring me more bread; for
I eat a great deal of bread to my steak."
"Ay, and please your honor, ye eat a great deal of steak to your
bread."
* * *
Will Hamilton, the "daft man o' Ayr," was once hanging about the
vicinity of a loch which was partially frozen. Three young ladies were
deliberating as to whether they should venture upon the ice, when one
of them suggested that Will should be asked to walk on it first. On the
proposal being made to him, he responded: "Though I'm daft, I'm no'
ill bred. After you, leddies."
* * *
Said a pompous man of money to Professor Agassiz
—"I once took
some interest in natural science, but I became a banker, and I am what
I am."
"Ah," replied Agassiz, "my father procured a place for me in a bank;
but I begged for one more year of study, then for a second, then for a
third. That fixed my fate. Sir, if it had not been for that little firmness of mine, I would now myself have been nothing but a banker!"
* * *
A story is told of a shrewish old Scotchwoman, who tried to wean
her husband from the dram-shop by employing her brother to act the
part of a ghost, and frighten John on his way home.
"Who are you," asked the farmer, as the apparition rose before him
from behind a bush.
"I am Auld Nick," was the reply.
"Are ye really?" exclaimed the old reprobate, with much satisfaction, instead of terror, "Man come awa'; gi'e's a shake o' your haun; I'm
merrit tae a sister o' yours!"
* * *
Upon some hasty errand Tom was sent,
And met his parish curate as he went;
But just like what he was —a sorry clown,
It seems he passed him with a covered crown.
The gown man stopt, and frowning, sternly said:
"I doubt, my lad, you're far worse taught than fed."
"Why, aye," says Tom, still jogging on, "that's true;
Thank God! he feeds me, but I'm taught by you."