--- title: Improvement Era description: Monthly periodical of the Mormon church, 1897 onward. This library holds the issues of November 1897 to December 1930. authors: - Young Men’s Mutual Improvement Associations collections: - periodicals tags: - magazine - improvement-era periodical: Improvement Era volume: 2 number: 2 published: 1898-12 publisher: Young Men’s Mutual Improvement Associations publisher_place: Salt Lake City language: en type: magazine reference: 'Young Men’s Mutual Improvement Associations, "In Lighter Mood", *Improvement Era* 2, no. 2 (December 1898): 149–151.' source: url: https://archive.org/details/improvementera22unse transcription: Transcribed from the Internet Archive scan of each issue (the item for each issue is named in the issue's own source); unnumbered advertising leaves are omitted, printed page numbers are kept as page markers. identifier: improvementera22unse start_page: 149 end_page: 151 rights: status: public-domain basis: US publication 1930 or earlier (published 1898-12) source: https://archive.org/details/improvementera22unse publication_year: 1898 note: The Internet Archive item metadata carries a blanket "© Copyright by Intellectual Reserve, Inc." notice. The library owner judged it inapplicable because this issue was published in 1898, before 1931; a scan-level notice does not restore copyright. --- # In Lighter Mood : IN LIGHTER MOOD. 149 would compel a refusal of the request unless Wellington, as a foreign graciously permitted to exist and fight on Spanish soil, should preofficer, sent the petition on his knees. The old duke often used to tell the story afterwards, and he would say, "Now, I was extremely anxious to have the movement executed, and I didn't care a twopenny dash about getting on my knees, so down I plumped!" * * * During the present era of good feeling between Great Britain and the United States it is not amiss to call attention to the following bond between the two governments "The desk used at the AVhite House, Washington, by the President of the United States is interesting in itself, apart from its connection with the ruler of a nation, for it is a token of the good-will existing between two peoples. Although occupying so prominent a place in the official residence of America's chosen governor, it is not of American manufacture. and was a present from the Queen to It was fashioned in England, a former President. It was madefrom the timbers of H, M. S. Resolute, which was sent in search of Sir John Franklin in 1852. The ship was caught in the ice, and had to be abandoned. It was not destined, however, to go to pieces in frozen waters. An American whaler discovered and extricated it in 1855, and it was subsequently purchased and sent to Her Majesty by the President and people of the United States as a token of good-will and friendship. In an English dockyard the Resolute was at last broken up, and from her timbers a desk was made, which was sent by Her Majesty "as a memorial of the courtesy and loving-kindness which dictated the offer as a gift of the Resolute." At this desk, itself a representative of the kindly feeling of both nations, the President does the greater part of his writing. * * * We are happy to note that the people of England are taking kindly to "Mark Twain." By which, of course, we mean, they are taking kindly to his humor; and the British press is glad to repeat his droll stories. "" Michael Davitt, the Irish leader, has published a book under the title ''Life and Progress in Australia," where the author has spent some time. On his journey from Melbourne to New Zealand he was fortunate enough to have "Mark Twain" for a fellow passenger, and he enlivens some of the passages of his book with two or three capital anecdotes related on thTvoyage by the great humorist. The Irish leader found "Mark Twain" easily approached. He says: There is absolutely no "side" hitched on to his genius. The kindliest of smiles and of laughing, good-natured gray eyes make you immedi ately welcome. You are made to feel at once that you are in the presence of a man whom fame or fortune could not deprive of his natural disposition to make yofi laugh away the worries and troubles of the moment. Mark Twain is not parsimonious with his talent. He entertained us in the smoking room of the Maroroa with some capital anecdotes, which» however, cannot be done justice to in the re-telling. It is in the art of telling a story where the mirth and merit lie, and Mark Twain's yarns in anyone else's narration is worse than leaving the Prince of Denmark out of "Hamlet." Nevertheless, even with this princely omission, the yarns are amusing enough. Two of them were at the expense of some friends and the custom house of New York. Some of the boys had made up their minds to play a trick on Mark. They each planted their smuggled cigars among his small baggage and awaited results. They knew he would not deny possession of such wares when questioned,and they all crowded around him when the customs officers came up. They counted upon his being compelled to pay up for the cargo. "They stood around when the critical moment arrived and were ready to explode with laughter at my expense. This is how it ended: "The customs officer — 'Your name, please?' " 'Mr. Clemens.' " 'Are you Mark Twain?' " 'Yes.' " 'Then pass on.' "So," said Mark, laughing at the recollection of the incident, "I was neither asked to pay nor to lie, and I had all the cigars to myself, for you may be sure I did not deliver any of them to those who tried to play that little game on me." On another occasion he encountered a much more exacting customs official at the same port. "I had nine parcels from Liverpool," he explained, "and I badly wanted to get them through without their being opened. I gave the number and was asked to open some of them. " 'Well, I am Mark Twain,' I pleaded, 'and you surely don't suspect me of harboring any evil against Uncle Sam?' " 'But we have a duty to perform.' " 'Yes, of course, but the custom regulations don't say, in teaching the rules of duty, you must rummage and upset Mark Twain's personal effects when he comes back to the land of his birth?' " 'We are sorry, but we have no alternative.' " 'Did you,' I cut in, 'compel General Sherman to open his trunks when he came back, a short time ago?' IN LIGHTER MOOD. 151 'Oh, we couldn't trouble General Sherman. You know he is' " 'No, you can allow General Sherman to pass, a man whom I made famous, and you stop me! You give a pass to the pupil and you deny the same right to the master; I' "Official to customs officer — 'Let his go;' and I got my nine parcels through all right." Mark Twain gave the Irish leader an infallible remedy for insomnia, with which the latter was sorely afflicted. "I suffered much from that malady years ago," said Mark. "It does not trouble me now, though my work is still heavy and more exacting as the years steal on. I began the search for a cure by drinking a glass of beer on going to bed. This gave a Then I little relief for a short time. exchanged my beer for a little two ounces of whisky. prescription of This worked the desired cure. It proved the real remedy so much so that — I began to like my medicine. The two ounces of Scotch grew into five ounces. Then the trouble began again. It was the old story of taking too much of a good thing. The five ounces sent me off all right, and brought about a kind of angelic sensation in my head, but in a couple of hours sleep would leave me, and the old trouble came back to stay all night. I then sought another remedy and found it — yes, sir, an infallible remedy. I got hold of it by accident. It was a child's German grammar. I began to read it on lying down. I never got through a single page at a time. Sleep came along and never gave the grammar a chance. Try it, and you will find it a dead certain cure. I tried hard to induce the late General Grant to adopt it, but I could not succeed. Otherwise he might not have died so soon."